Mayday!
by may10baby
Summary: Itachi and Sasuke have yet to find a mate they deem suitable. What happens when their owner, Kakashi's exboyfriend appears with two foxes that the Uchiha brother's take a liking to. but what the foxes don't like them? SasuNaru,ItaKyuu,KakaIru,etc. Lemons!
1. Once

Summary-

Sasuke and Itachi, once again, visit the Konoha Mating Center in (Kakashi's) hopes of finding a mate. For the past 2 years (even more for Itachi) neither one found anyone they considered worthy to be their life mate. When they come across two unwilling foxes will their opinion change?

Couplings: Sasunaru, ItaKyuu, etc.

Ages: Sasuke-15 Naruto-14 Itachi- 20 Kyuubi-18 etc.

* * *

"_Please_, you two… I'm _begging_ you guys to find someone screwable!" Kakashi cried, flailing his arms at two certain Uchihas. Itachi and Sasuke to be precise.

Uchiha Itachi, champion of the Senior Class of the Konoha Pet Shows, was leaning against one of the mating centers (modeled like a mini-hotel) tan, flower wallpaper print walls. His deep red eyes showed no interest in the hoard of female animal hybrids walking down the hall, giggling and looking toward his direction. His long dark hair was in a loose ponytail, tied at the base of his neck. His black leopard ears, with red spots, that eerily reminded people of blood splatters, sat on his head, a matching tail swishing lazily behind him. He was dressed in a red dress shirt, all but two middle buttons undone and a black sleeveless, muscle shirt underneath a pair of black cargo pants hung lowly on his hips, causing the ladies to swoon.

Uchiha Sasuke, champion of the Junior Class of Konoha Pets Shows, sat next to his brother on the ground, busying himself with a video game on his Nintendo DS Light. His hair was shorter and in a style that reminded Kakashi of duck's ass. His dark eyes narrowed at a figure on the screen. Black ears, like his brother's, twitching slightly, his tail curling in displeasure as Dingodile managed to hit Crash with a torpedo. "Cheeky little bastard…" he muttered, pushing a series of buttons, his head angling lower. He wasn't as "well dressed" as Itachi, simply in a black dress shirt and off white jeans.

However both of them had one thing they both knew was a distinct possibility; they could've been asexual...

Kakashi sighed "Come on… at least screw _someone_, your prize money from the Shows isn't enough to keep us going forever… what if you guys _lose_?" He sweatdropped as Sasuke and Itachi stared at him as if the world supply of salmon had just disappeared-which would have been very scary- or something on that level, maybe a cod roe crisis. "You never know…" he murmured, scratching the back of his head awkwardly.

"Kakashi!" a excited voice called out. Kakashi turned behind him to see Asuma running towards him.

"Ah, hey, Asuma…" he greeted, turning to face the man.

"Hey! So Sasuke-kun, ready to mate with my Ino?" he chuckled when the younger leopard stared at him as if he'd grown a second head. "Heh, heh… guess not… still heard these two punks haven't bedded someone, yet." He grinned at Kakashi look of despair. "Anyway, thought I'd tell you… _Iruka's _back; with Kyuubi _and_ another fox!" he added excitedly.

Kakashi stared at Asuma "I-Iruka?" he stuttered.

Itachi snorted, Sasuke looked up at Itachi "Who's Iruka?"

Itachi chuckled "Kakashi's mate, he went to the States, he left abruptly because, Kakashi had sex with him, only our owner, oh-so-smartly used alcohol to get some." Sasuke snickered.

Kakashi glared "Better than being _shot down_, like Kyuubi-kun did with _you_." He returned the dark look Itachi gave him with a smile. "Who knows? Maybe Kyuubi-kun has yet to find a mate! Not to mention this new fox Iruka's brought along for the ride."

"Better hurry…" Asuma warned "When I left, Temari and a few others were already advancing on Iruka, talking about a mating session with his foxes."

Kakashi's eyes narrowed "Not in my life!" '_Which may end the second Iruka sees me…_' he added silently to himself, trying to keep from shaking.

Itachi smirked '_A second chance with Kyuubi? Interesting…_'

* * *

Kyuubi no Kistune hissed at Shuukaku "Fuck off!" he snarled, baring his teeth.

"Oh? Don't mind if I d-SHIT! YOU _BITCH_!" Kyuubi watched in satisfaction as the raccoon went down, cradling his family jewels.

He sighed, in the seven years he'd been in America his hair had grown down to his mid-back, he would have let the blood-red locks flow loosely, but he knew that would only help any of the horny pets in here by grabbing him by his hair and dragging him onto the nearest flat surface, like the floor, walls, table, etc. So he went with a bun, held up in silver ornate chopsticks with small ruby foxes dangling from the ends of tiny chains.

His red slitted eyes glanced at the crumpled form of his latest attacker, he snorted. '_As if I'd let anyone as weak as him have their way with me…_' surprisingly the fox was submissive-Lord knows why- and he refused to let anyone weaker than him touch him, except his loved ones (not that he'd consider Iruka weaker), groomers, vet, and a few others.

His red fox ears sat proudly on his head. He was dressed in a Chinese-style top of black silk and silver lacing, long flowing sleeves covering his slim arms, an oriental fan in his hand. Matching flared pants covered his legs. Nine tails waved absentmindedly as he weaved through the crowd (It took real skill to have that many tails in check in a crowd like that) a few pairs of mated pets smiled at him, he returned the smiles with a few of his own, secretly envious of their abilities to love one another. He was well aware of the other pets staring at him with mixes of envy, awe and lust.

* * *

He came up to the table where his little brother sat, clinging to his owner's side.

"Noo..! Iruka! I don't wanna mate with anyone yet!" Naruto cried, in tears. His blonde fluffy ears hung limply as he eyed Gaara, Shuukaku's little brother, warily. His spiky blonde hair had attracted a lot of attention, almost as much as Kyuubi's blazing locks. His blue eyes glittered with unshed tears, three whisker marks cupped his cheeks, adding to the blonde's cuteness, and causing Kyuubi to fight the urge to pinch his cheeks whenever he saw his little brother.(1) Naruto had whined until Iruka had let him wear a _sundress _of all things to the Mating Party (where pets chatted a bit, hoping to find their life mates.) The white dress had a red ribbon going around Naruto's waist, the fabric hanging loosely down to his knees. The blonde's tails swarmed around him, curling around him slightly.

Kyuubi sighed, settling next to Naruto "No need to cry, Naru-chan." He pinched Naruto's cheek teasingly, before scratching his little brother behind his ears. He turned to Temari; Gaara and Shuukaku's owner "Not only is he weaker than me, he also couldn't wait till we found a room. I have requirements; my mate's got to be a good fuck (though not too rough), hot (looks wise), and _quiet_." He sipped the glass of water on their table.

"I wonder why you pointedly ignored me the first time we met, _Kyuu-chan_." Said redhead choked on his drink, almost spilling it. Only one person _dared_ to call him that.

Itachi watched in amusement as Kyuubi looked up at him, eyes glinting dangerously. "Ita-chan"(2) he replied evenly, in the mood for 'Vampire Leopard'(3) Soup.

"Kakashi." Iruka greeted stiffly.

Kakashi chuckled nervously "Who knew someone could put so much, err… _emotion_ in one word?" he sweatdropped as Iruka's glare intensified.

A dangerous silence passed until Sasuke, out of curiosity, turned to Naruto "Why the hell are you wearing a dress?"

Naruto blinked "Eh?"

* * *

1) In the actual series Itachi (when he's younger) always pokes Sasuke in the forehead, my friend's like: "Aww… but it'd be better if he pinched his cheek!" Me: "He's a soon-to-be-raving lunatic! He doesn't pinch cheeks!" So yeah, she gets her wish in the form of KyuuNaruness XD

2) Itachi? Ita-chan? Sound similar to _anyone_?

3)Because of the red spots of Itachi and Sasuke's fur, their breed's nickname is "Vampire Leopard"

May: giggle if I get enough reviews I promise an intense sex scene between Itachi and Kyuubi next chapter! XD

Kk: You should be worrying about your grades in Math and Biology…

May: The hell with school! I'll get back on task after break!


	2. upon

May: Previously!

"_I wonder why you pointedly ignored me the first time we met, Kyuu-chan." Said redhead choked on his drink, almost spilling it. Only one person dared to call him that. _

_Itachi watched in amusement as Kyuubi looked up at him, eyes glinting dangerously. "Ita-chan" he replied evenly, in the mood for 'Vampire Leopard' Soup._

"_Kakashi." Iruka greeted stiffly._

_Kakashi chuckled nervously "Who knew someone could put so much, err… emotion in one word?" he sweatdropped as Iruka's glare intensified._

_A dangerous silence passed until Sasuke, out of curiosity, turned to Naruto "Why the hell are you wearing a dress?"_

_Naruto blinked "Eh?"

* * *

_

"Hmph. Better tell your little brother to back off mine, Ita-chan…" Kyuubi threatened, his voice low. Sasuke cringed, but Itachi just smirked.

"Don't worry, Sasuke. I don't think it's possible for Kyuubi to even _scratch_ someone." Sasuke vaguely wondered if his brother had forgotten about how Kyuubi had just brought that raccoon to his knees a few minutes ago.

"Oh, cocky aren't we?" Kyuubi retorted.

"When you put it that way…" Itachi smirked, leaning down to Kyuubi's ear. "We both know I'm the only one here who can meet your standards…" he blew gently into Kyuubi's ear, causing it to twitch. "Room 69." He stated simply, before straightening and walking off. Kyuubi didn't need Naruto to tell him his face was red.

"Mother…**fucker**!!" he hissed humiliated, as he sprang up, running after Itachi "Get your ass back here, Uchiha!" he shouted.

Sasuke sighed. Oh yeah, either his brother was gonna be dead or lucky tonight. He settled down next to Naruto, who shied away from him, blushing cutely. "Pleasure to meet you…" Sasuke purred, glancing up at Iruka to make sure hehimself wasn't in any danger. But the man wasn't there. Thank you, Kakashi.

"Umm…hello…" Naruto replied quietly, he could feel the lust from the older cat next to him. "I'm Naruto…" he stated, tensing when someone's hand drifted up his dress. "Nyah!?" he cried, as Sasuke slid his fingertips up his waist slyly.

"I really is a nice dress…" '_Perfect for molestation…_' Sasuke added silently, chewing on one of Naruto's ears softly.

"Noo!!!! That hurts, Sasuke!" Naruto whined as the brunette shoved him down onto the booth of his table. The blonde's tails curled around him defensively. His potential suitors had left when Itachi and Sasuke had arrived, knowing their were no match for the Uchihas.

"Relax, little one…" Sasuke purred, brushing his lips against Naruto's.

"Noo!!!!"

* * *

Kyuubi stood outside Room 69 with a dilemma. One option was to go into the Room and risk Rape by Itachi. The other option was to scream and bitch until Itachi came out, but then his pride was at state.

Pride or Safety?

Kyuubi grit his teeth and opened the door before walking in. "Alright, Ita-chan come on out!" he jumped as the door slammed shut. He spun around "Ita-chan?" he asked tensely when no one was behind the door. He jumped, spinning when someone-or something- snatched the hair chopsticks, causing his red hair to spill down over his shoulders messily. "I-Itachi?" Kyuubi whimpered, hugging himself tightly, feeling as though this was getting too 'horror story' for his taste.

He whimpered, the room was a mix of red and black sheets and furniture, like couches and a mini-refrigerator filled with water, snacks and alcohol for those that refused to mate sober. The shadows seemed bigger and badder. He cried out when two pale arms circled his waist.

"Didn't mean to scare you…" '_Much…_' Itachi smirked when Kyuubi squirmed in his arms.

"B-Bastard! You didn't scare me! You shocked me and- HOLY SHIT- why the fuck are you _naked_?!" Kyuubi squealed when he saw that brunette was in his birthday suit.

"Precisely. To fuck. Now, clothes off." Itachi ordered, grabbing the waist of Kyuubi's pants.

"No! Shit, Uchiha! I _refuse_ to bend over for the likes of you!" Kyuubi hissed, flailing his limbs desperately.

"Fine, there are many other positions we can try, I just read of this interesting one in one of Kakashi's books." Itachi smirked when he found the drawstring to Kyuubi's pants and gave them a firm tug.

The strings loosened, the pants slipping down with a shocked cry from Kyuubi.

"No! No no no no no!" Kyuubi wailed. Rape was not on his agenda!

"Suck it up and take it like a kistune." Itachi teased, quite pleased the kistune had voted against putting on any underwear. While ripping the red head's shirt of and throwing the tattered remains across the room.

"A-Asshole! That shirt was so _comfy_!" Kyuubi growled, squealing when Itachi picked him up bridal style and started carrying over to the canopy king-size bed in the corner of the room.

"I'll but you a new one." Itachi replied tossing Kyuubi onto the bed. The redhead sprung up, instinctively and mentally knowing there's as no way he would fuck with this guy. "Come on, don't make this difficult…"

"I'm _gonna_ make it difficult, and _I'll_ buy my _own_ shirt, **dammit**!" Kyuubi hissed, tensing as Itachi slid onto the velvet covers slowly.

"…You seriously need to get laid." Itachi stated bluntly as he pounced.

* * *

"Naruto! Kyuubi!" Iruka cried, looking around frantically, since Kakashi had more or less dragged him into the bathroom for a make-out session- said man was currently unconscious in one of the stalls- he'd lost track of his 'innocent' foxes! "Where are you?!"

He came up to the table they were sitting at previously, he didn't see anyone.

"Ahhnn… Sasuke. Ah! More! Nyyaaahhh!"

Iruka felt his eye twitch as he looked under the table where Sasuke was grinding against Naruto roughly, the blonde fox's tails curled in pleasure.

"Naru…" Sasuke groaned, he thrusted against Naruto's hips, receiving a delighted cry from the blonde fox underneath him.

"Uhnn…Sasuke…I-Nyah?!" Naruto screeched as he and Sasuke were jerked away from each other.

Sasuke snarled at…Iruka?! '_Shit! Shit! Shit! Kakashi! Where the hell are you?!_' Sasuke thought frantically as Iruka glared at him darkly.

"I'll deal with you later…" Iruka stated lowly, a shadow covering his eyes, though Sasuke preferred it that way, considering the brunette's current expression could make a grizzly bear piss himself. "Where's Kyuubi?"

"W-w-with I-It-tachi…" Sasuke stuttered, flinching as gleam appeared from the shadows of Iruka's eyes.

Iruka tossed Sasuke and Naruto onto the booth without another word before disappearing into the crowd.

Naruto looked over at Sasuke who looked very close to crying, the older cat shivering and staring at Iruka with an abnormal amount of fear in his eyes. He mewled softly, becoming even more worried when Sasuke jumped at the sound of his voice "Sasuke?" he rubbed against the brunette's tense form, purring gently while calling Sasuke a 'poor baby' and licking his cheek.

Sasuke relaxed more before weakly returning Naruto's advances and curling his tail around Naruto's waist. '_Nii-san…good luck…_' he prayed that his brother might be able to find a way to let Iruka spare their lives.

* * *

Kyuubi cried out in pure bliss as Itachi thrusted deeper into him. "AH! T-TACHI!!! OH!!!" he screamed cuming all over the bed underneath him. He whimpered, collapsing onto the dirtied sheets when Itachi groaned his name, releasing his seed in the kistune. He softly mewled in protest as Itachi fell on him. "You're heavy…" he half-growled, half-whined.

Itachi grunted, shifting slightly before rolling onto his back next to Kyuubi, he smirked at the dazed look in the redhead's eyes. "Feeling better?" he asked.

Kyuubi shifted slightly, moaning at the spark of pain that shot up his backside, before glaring at Itachi "You were too rough!" he hissed, getting even angrier when Itachi chuckled.

"You weren't arguing, if I remember correctly…" he replied pulling Kyuubi into his arms, gently massaging the red head's hips with his hands.

Kyuubi buried his face into Itachi chest, sure the sex was awesome at the least, Itachi was being really gentle with him now that the mating was over. But still! _Itachi_ of all the people! "Maybe I should celibate…" Kyuubi muttered.

"Go ahead and try…" Itachi replied, squeezing Kyuubi's ass a little too roughly, causing the fox to cry out in pain.

"Motherfucker!" Kyuubi screeched in pain. To make himself feel better, he promptly bit Itachi on his collarbone, he blinked, realizing what he'd done. "Shit! No! Don't you dare bite me back Itachi! Ow! That hurts dammit! Ow ow ow!!"

Itachi grinned, licking away the small tears in his mate's eyes before settling on lapping up the blood coming from the noticeable bite mark on Kyuubi's neck.

"I hate you!" Kyuubi huffed, squirming in Itachi's arms. "Lemme go!" he cried. Itachi sighed, hugging the redhead and telling him to calm down and kissing him sweetly. "Noo!" Kyuubi cried half-annoyed, half-delighted at the way Itachi was treating him. He considered whether having sex with Itachi for the 13th time would be bad for his health.

And then the door burst open, Itachi's eyes glittered dangerously at whoever disturbed their mating, before he paled slightly "Iruka..." he muttered, in disbelief. Where the hell was Kakashi?!

The brunette looked at the condition the two pets, his eyes narrowed, and Itachi felt the same as that one time when his mother caught him snatching a bit of salmon afterhours when he'd been punished with no dinner. He shuddered at the spanking he'd recieved. _'Gods...help! Please! I'm just reproducing as Nature intended!'_ he watched warily as Iruka's face grew darker.

"You..." Iruka growled angrily. Several more imfamous torture plots running through his head.

Itachi twitched while Kyuubi glanced between them worridly.


	3. a

May: Previously!

* * *

"_I hate you!" Kyuubi huffed, squirming in Itachi's arms. "Lemme go!" he cried. Itachi sighed, hugging the redhead and telling him to calm down and kissing him sweetly. "Noo!" Kyuubi cried half-annoyed, half-delighted at the way Itachi was treating him. He considered whether having sex with Itachi for the 13th time would be bad for his health._

_And then the door burst open, Itachi's eyes glittered dangerously at whoever disturbed their mating, before he paled slightly "Iruka..." he muttered, in disbelief. Where the hell was Kakashi?!_

_The brunette looked at the condition the two pets, his eyes narrowed, and Itachi felt the same as that one time when his mother caught him snatching a bit of salmon afterhours when he'd been punished with no dinner. He shuddered at the spanking he'd recieved. __'Gods...help! Please! I'm just reproducing as Nature intended!'__ he watched warily as Iruka's face grew darker._

_"You..." Iruka growled angrily. Several more imfamous torture plots running through his head._

_Itachi twitched while Kyuubi glanced between them worridly.

* * *

_

Kakashi groaned, rubbing his head as he staggered around the Mating Center. "Itachi? Sasuke?" he glanced around numbly.

"KAKASHI!!!" Iruka screeched, advancing on the dazed man. He grabbed him by the shirt collar "DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR PETS WERE _DOING_ TO _MY_ PETS?! HUH?! He gave the gray-haired man a firm shake.

"Err…mating I suppose?" Kakashi replied dumbly. He paled when Iruka seemed to calm down; the man was even scarier when he was calm.

"…Did you plot this?" Iruka asked quietly.

"Uh… of course not!" Kakashi answered, wondering whether Sasuke and Itachi were still breathing.

"Hmph! Figures an idiot like you wouldn't be able to… Kyuubi and Naruto are so happy!" Kakashi stared as Iruka let him go, and proceeded to giggle to himself happily.

"Uhh…so they've accepted Sasuke and Itachi's as their mates?" Kakashi questioned, wondering how Itachi managed to mate with someone like Kyuubi, not to mention Sasuke with Kyuubi's little brother.

"Yup! I'm so happy! You should have seen them! Kyuubi and Naruto were practically in tears when I tried to skin your cats! I've already sent them over to your house, and I'll be visiting them frequently, here's my address and phone number, feel free to call anytime!" Iruka handed a thoroughly confused Kakashi his card, kissed the gray-haired man on the cheek and proceeded to skip down the hall merrily.

"…Sure?"

* * *

Kyuubi curled onto Itachi's king-sized bed, relishing the softness of the sheets. The soreness of the mating session with Itachi down to a dull throb. "I love your bed almost as much as I love _you_ in bed." He stated, rolling onto his back, letting Itachi climb on top of him. He wrapped his arms around Itachi's neck loosely, and nuzzled his neck affectionately.

Itachi was surprised; he'd imagined Kyuubi would bitch about being mated to him, like refusing to sleep with him (which he'd never allow) and such. Not that he didn't like this side of Kyuubi either. He pulled back and kissed Kyuubi on the nose. He stripped off Kyuubi's clothing before taking off his own.

"Come on, you need sleep." He picked Kyuubi up and tugged the blankets down before replacing him onto the bed. He reached over to turn his bedside lamp off before settling back onto the bed and pulling the blankets up.

Kyuubi pressed himself against Itachi "Warm…" he murmured contently, as Itachi's arms wrapped around him. '_I hope Naruto's being treated like this…_'

* * *

"Come on!" Sasuke purred sexily into Naruto's ear...through the bathroom door.

"No!" Came Naruto's muffled replied.

Sasuke leaned back, growling in annoyance. "Naruto! It's bedtime! Let's go to bed!"

"No! Iruka was really mad at Sasuke last time! He almost hurt Sasuke! If I do bad things with Sasuke again, Iruka'll be even madder, and really hurt Sasuke!" Naruto whimpered through the door.

Sasuke's eyes softened "You're worried about me?" he asked quietly, his tail waving slightly behind him.

"Uhuh…" Naruto replied.

Hearing this almost made up for not getting laid. Sasuke straightened slightly and began to purr softly to his mate "♪Don't worry, Naruto…I'll be fine…♫" he assured the blonde, his voice almost musical "♪Please come out…lay with me, my love…♫"

Naruto blushed as Sasuke sang to him; the leopard had a wonderful voice. He sighed in defeat; maybe he could tempt Iruka with some salmon or ramen. He unlocked the door and peeked at Sasuke who smiled sexily at him. Sasuke pushed the door open more and swept Naruto into his arms, carrying him bridal style to his bed. He pushed back his blankets and laid Naruto onto the bed. Naruto squirmed slightly as Sasuke climbed on top of him.

"I love you …" Sasuke murmured into Naruto ear, biting it affectionately. Sasuke slide himself between Naruto legs, pushing the crumpled sundress up off his mate's body.

Naruto whined, pushing at Sasuke "I don't wanna have sex with you…yet." He added at the angered look Sasuke gave him. "I don't know… if I like Sasuke enough…" he finished, pushing his body up and away from Sasuke's. He watched the brunette warily, in case Sasuke tried to force himself on him.

Sasuke was debating in his head, on one hand could let Naruto go for tonight and built trust up with blonde, on the other, he could rape the blonde; causing Iruka beat him and Kakashi to a bloody pulp, and take Naruto and Kyuubi back; causing Itachi beat him to an even bloodier pulp.

He sighed "Fine…" he unconsciously pouted.

Naruto's eyes glittered anxiously in the worry that his mate didn't like him. He rubbed against Sasuke, purring, calling him 'his sweetheart' among other things. He hugged the brunette and pulled him down to the bed "Let's get some rest…" he purred, his tails curling around the two of them.

Sasuke was glad he went with Plan A.

* * *

"No." Itachi snapped, Kyuubi gasped as Itachi tightened his grip around his waist.

"Itachi! I can't feel my toes! Or legs! Dammit, leggo!" he whimpered, looking desperately at Tsunade who leaned towards him, causing Itachi's grip to tighten even more "Itai! _Itachi_!" he tried to loosen Itachi's death grip, who growled loudly, eyes fixed on Tsunade as she tried to touch his mate.

"Is there anyway you can check for pregnancy while Itachi's holding him like that?" Kakashi asked the pet doctor. He knew full well that Itachi didn't like doctors, so it didn't surprise him that the leopard wouldn't let Tsunade touch Kyuubi either.

"It's more of the fact Itachi doesn't want me to touch Kyuubi period…" Tsunade sighed. "I give up, 4 hours straight of trying to pry Kyuubi loose is too much. I'm older than I look, and I doubt we could manage to sedate Itachi through Kyuubi's exam…if Kyuubi starts to develop any feverish symptoms, don't medicate him, call me. Period." She gave Kyuubi a sympathetic look and glanced at Itachi who growled lowly, while Kyuubi murmured something about 'possessive, horny mates' she turned to leave, before stopping and turning back around "What about the other one? Naruto was it?" she asked looking around.

"Don't worry, Sasuke hasn't mated with him this year, you're free to go." Kakashi grinned at her through his mask. "Good evening, Tsunade-sama."

"See ya, Kakashi. Tell Iruka I said 'hi.'" Tsunade waved at Kyuubi, who stared helplessly at her, before turning to leave the manor.

"Why did you stop her?!" Kyuubi wailed tugging on Itachi's black t-shirt, the brunette also had on a pair of gray shorts. Kyuubi clad in a black tanktop and white jeans.

Itachi raised a brow, more relaxed now that the 'evil witch doctor' was gone "She was going to touch you."

"Why should you stop her from touching me!?" Kyuubi whined "She's a _doctor_!" he crossed his arms and sulked.

Kakashi sighed "Itachi, Tsunade-sama is one of the best in the field when it comes to animal pregnancy. She could make sure your kits are born safely, while nothing bad happens to Kyuubi."

"I don't care. I refuse to let anyone touch Kyuubi below the waist."

"And when he's in labor?" Kakashi replied flatly, running a hand through his hair "…Itachi, you're not going to have Kyuubi try to have kits the 'Natural' way, right? It can be quite painful for the bitch of the relationship."

Itachi ignored him, he sighed "Let's go Kyuubi." He raised a brow when Kyuubi broke free and jumped up.

"No!" Kyuubi huffed "I _hate_ you! I wish I'd _never_ mated with you dammit! Don't you _care _about our _children_!" he snapped at Itachi, angry tears pricking at his eyes, before he stomped off- mostly likely to get lost.

"…" Kakashi sweatdropped as Itachi slumped down slightly "………He _hates_ me?!... my mate _hates _me?" '_And he didn't like the sex?! WHAT THE **HELL**?!?!?!?_' Itachi stared at the floor hopelessly.

Kakashi couldn't decide whether he should start laughing or call up Shusui, Itachi's psychiatrist. "Err…well he doesn't '_hate_' you! You see… the relationship between Iruka and myself, is what someone would consider '_hate_'." Kakashi stated simply, sighing when Itachi didn't reply.

At that moment Sasuke and Naruto walked in. Sensing Itachi's rarely appearing 'Angst Drama Queen' Mode, Sasuke turned to Kakashi. "Did Kyuubi and nii-san get in a fight?" he turned back to Itachi when Kakashi nodded, letting Naruto walk off to find and comfort Kyuubi. He examined Itachi, considering the thing that their mother had done to them as punishment. "Wanna eat some ice cream?" he asked his fellow sweet-hater. Itachi stared at him numbly.

* * *

Kyuubi and Naruto sat side-by-side on their couch, teary-eyed, with a tissue box on each armrest, watching the soap opera; _Tides of Mist._

"_Zabuza-sama! Why won't you accept my feelings?!" a remarkably woman-like boy/man in rags asked, clinging to Zabuza's gray dress shirt._

"_I'm sorry, Haku…I love you! But am engaged to another! Raigo _(the Seven Shinobi Swordsman that shoots lightning and likes to bury people alive in the Grand Filler arc.)_ and I are engaged to wed by our parents, there's nothing I can do…" Zabuza replied gently, pushing Haku away, causing the younger actor to cling to him even more_.

Kyuubi and Naruto each grabbed a tissue, sniffling.

"_B-but..!.. If you leave we'll never see each other again! Please! I'd __**die**__ to keep you!" Haku gasped as Zabuza's hand managed to pry his loose. "No!" he wailed collapsing onto the ground "__**Please**__!" _

"_I'm sorry…" Zabuza murmured regrettably, before walking out the door. Haku bent over, breaking into sobs. _

Naruto gave a cry and Kyuubi abruptly joined him "It's not _fair_!!!" they cried in unison, tears spilling down their faces.

_Will Haku and Zabuza ever be reunited? See next time on; Tides of Mist…_

_Up next! The show critics are claiming the best in Konoha! Our favorite sexually-harassed doctor's assistant; Kabuto, and bipolar, cannibal, mental-health patient; Zetsu in; Ensnared Snake!_

In case you're wondering, this is what Kyuubi was doing when Naruto found him, and the blonde was drawn in by the storyline. Thus, the brothers would be stuck here for a while, and Itachi could gain a few pounds from ice cream consumption.

* * *

May: I originally came up with the 'Soap Opera' idea when I was cleaning the downstairs bathroom, I got a headache XD, thank you fumes!

Kk: …okay, May…we go nigh-nigh, now…

May: Me no _wan _nigh-nigh!!! runs away to fume filled bathroom SANCTUARY!!!!! AHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!!!!

Kk: sweatdrop M-may!!!! Don't!!!! turns to Itachi DO SOMETHING!!!!

Itachi: starts undoing cloak how about a free strip show?

May: SQUEE!!!!!!! runs to future hubby

Itachi: Kyuubi only!

May: wail


	4. there

May: I'm on a roll with this fanfic!

Kk: I've never seen you so determined….

* * *

Previously:

_At that moment Sasuke and Naruto walked in. Sensing Itachi's rarely appearing 'Angst Drama Queen' Mode, Sasuke turned to Kakashi. "Did Kyuubi and nii-san get in a fight?" he turned back to Itachi when Kakashi nodded, letting Naruto walk off to find and comfort Kyuubi. He examined Itachi, considering the thing that their mother had done to them as punishment. "Wanna eat some ice cream?" he asked his fellow sweet-hater. Itachi stared at him numbly._

_Kyuubi and Naruto sat side-by-side on their couch, teary-eyed, with a tissue box on each armrest, watching the soap opera; Tides of Mist._

"_Zabuza-sama! Why won't you accept my feelings?!" a remarkably woman-like boy/man in rags asked, clinging to Zabuza's gray dress shirt._

"_I'm sorry, Haku…I love you! But am engaged to another! Raigo (the Seven Shinobi Swordsman that shoots lightning and likes to bury people alive in the Grand Filler arc.) and I are engaged to wed by our parents, there's nothing I can do…" Zabuza replied gently, pushing Haku away, causing the younger actor to cling to him even more._

_Kyuubi and Naruto each grabbed a tissue, sniffling._

"_B-but..!.. If you leave we'll never see each other again! Please! I'd __**die**__ to keep you!" Haku gasped as Zabuza's hand managed to pry his loose. "No!" he wailed collapsing onto the ground "__**Please**__!" _

"_I'm sorry…" Zabuza murmured regrettably, before walking out the door. Haku bent over, breaking into sobs. _

_Naruto gave a cry and Kyuubi abruptly joined him "It's not fair!!!" they cried in unison, tears spilling down their faces._

_Will Haku and Zabuza ever be reunited? See next time on; Tides of Mist…_

_Up next! The show critics are claiming the best in Konoha! Our favorite sexually-harassed doctor's assistant; Kabuto, and bipolar, cannibal, mental-health patient; Zetsu in; Ensnared Snake! _

_In case you're wondering, this is what Kyuubi was doing when Naruto found him, and the blonde was drawn in by the storyline. Thus, the brothers would be stuck here for a while, and Itachi could gain a few pounds from ice cream consumption.

* * *

_

Chapter 3:

"Hmmm… so let me get this straight…" Orochimaru, a Marriage Counselor, sat across from a distressed Kakashi and Iruka, crossing his legs "Itachi-kun and Kyuubi-kun got in an argument?" he 'hmm'ed again when the two pet owners nodded. "And Kyuubi-kun's the one who's mad, correct?"

"He thinks Itachi doesn't care for their children, if Kyuubi's even pregnant…" Kakashi replied.

"Well, I was going to say that you should replace Kyuubi-kun's entire wardrobe with frilly French Maid outfits and lock the two up for a while, but only works when the Seme's the angry one…" Orochimaru sighed, rubbing his chin. Kakashi and Iruka sweatdropped. "What's Kyuubi-kun doing right now?"

"Watching reruns of 'The Shinobi' with Naruto…" Iruka muttered. "And Itachi's force-feeding himself ice cream while Sasuke's laughing about it." Orochimaru winced.

"Uhuh, that's a no-no. Tell Itachi to stop eating ice cream and have Kyuubi go to the doctor's for a check up, and then you two come back here." He nodded, waving his hand "I must meditate…"

Kakashi and Iruka nodded, walking out the door.

"Kimimaru! My favorite chiropractor! Get your fine ass over here!"

* * *

"Well, well, Kyuubi _is_ pregnant!" Tsunade handed a sleepy looking Kyuubi over to a delighted Iruka.

"WOOT! How many?!" Iruka asked, petting Kyuubi on the head.

"Hmm, not that many, only two or three…" Tsunade, scratched behind Kyuubi's ear "Get plenty of sleep tonight, and be careful, other cats will most likely try to mate with you and abort the babies, stay close to Itachi…"

Kyuubi flinched, but didn't say anything.

Tsunade frowned, looking at Iruka who shook his head. She nodded. "Also, eat lots of fruit and vegetables, also eat dairy products and built up your calcium, fish is a good idea as well. Not too much beef or pork, though." She patted Kyuubi one more time before wishing him good luck and returning to her office.

"Let's go, Kyuubi." Iruka tugged the fox towards the door.

* * *

"No…must punish…" Itachi groaned, clutching his stomach. Kakashi lifted a brow, glancing at the near-empty box of ice cream in his hand.

"How the hell, after 3 pints of sherbet, do you look just as thin?" 'Damn cat metabolism…' "By the way, while you were attempting suicide by ice cream, Kyuubi went to see Tsunade-sama."

Itachi's head snapped up, stomach pain forgotten. "WHAT?!" he shouted, standing up quickly, before groaning and doubling over again.

"Yup, he's pregnant all right, Tsunade predicts two or three kits." Kakashi smirked "You know, you look like a girl on her period from this point of view."

"Shut…up…" Itachi panted, wincing as the painful throbbing in his stomach increased. "What…about Kyuubi…" he glanced up at Kakashi.

"You might be turning diabetic, that's bad, Itachi…" Kakashi muttered, ignoring the leopard's question. "Go to bed, take some Ibuprofen, Kyuubi should be home soon anyways. I'm going out." He ushered the leopard out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

He turned around looked at Sasuke who was leaning against the stairwell. "Hide the rest of the ice cream." He grabbed his jacket from the closet and slid on his shoes. "Also make sure Naruto doesn't wipe out our ramen supply."

Sasuke nodded to each of these, his tail wagging slightly. "Is Itachi gonna die?" he snorted. "I want all his yaoi porn."

"Yeah, I know…just do hide the icecream already, jeez…" Kakashi replied before walking out door.

* * *

Kyuubi stumbled into Itachi's room "Ah, fuck…" he groaned, rubbing his head, as he closed the door. He made his way over to the bed. He glanced at Itachi's sleeping form, before slipping off his shirt and climbing into the bed and snuggling up next to Itachi, too tired to bitch about him.

* * *

"Kyuu-nii is pregnant!?" Naruto asked, looking at his mate, sitting cross legged on their bed.

Sasuke nodded "He and Itachi are still arguing though…" Sasuke pulled Naruto into his arms and breathed in the blonde's sweet, honey scent. "You smell so good♥" he purred.

Naruto giggled, nuzzling into Sasuke's neck. "It's because this is Kyuu-nii's first _real_ relationship. He's all nervous!" Naruto nipped at Sasuke's neck "Good night."

"Sleep tight."

* * *

May: wow… in only an hour! I must really like this story!


	5. were

_Kyuubi stumbled into Itachi's room "Ah, fuck…" he groaned, rubbing his head, as he closed the door. He made his way over to the bed. He glanced at Itachi's sleeping form, before slipping off his shirt and climbing into the bed and snuggling up next to Itachi, too tired to bitch about him.

* * *

_

"_Kyuu-nii is getting Marriage Counseling?" Naruto asked, looking at his mate, sitting cross legged on their bed._

_Sasuke nodded "He and Itachi are still arguing…" Sasuke pulled Naruto into his arms and breathed in the blonde's sweet, honey scent. "You smell so good__♥__" he purred. _

_Naruto giggled, nuzzling into Sasuke's neck. "It's because this is Kyuu-nii's first real relationship. He's all nervous!" Naruto nipped at Sasuke's neck "Good night."_

"_Sleep tight."

* * *

_

May: next chapter! And review everyone! I'm competing with a friend of mine to see who can get more reviews! I must win! Also an interesting fact is that I had a premonition that the fanfiction would rock, so I named it after my glory! XD I'm so full of myself!

Also people have said I'm focusing on ItaKyuu, so I'm making this chapter mainly SasuNaru!

By the way, Itachi screws up BIG TIME in this chapter!

* * *

Kyuubi groaned shifting slightly in his bed, his eyes snapped open, however, when someone began to kiss his neck. "The hell!?"

Itachi unconsciously-yes, as in he's still asleep- rubbed against a struggling Kyuubi "Kisame…" he groaned. Kyuubi froze.

* * *

Naruto and Sasuke jolted awake when Kyuubi, more or less, screamed to heaven and back "_**WHAT**_** DID YOU JUST CALL **_**ME**_" Sasuke's arms circled Naruto's waist protectively, while the blonde fox quivered slightly, clinging to Sasuke. They looked at each other.

"I'll order the tombstone…" Sasuke muttered. Naruto sweatdropped.

* * *

"K-Kyuubi!" Itachi tried to pull the pissed/upset fox into him arms. Kyuubi immediately lashed out, kneeing Itachi squarely in the crotch. The brunette crumpled, cursing "Dammit, Kyuubi!" he hissed, eyes tearing up at the excruciating pain.

"I refuse to _look_ at you again…"Kyuubi snapped, grabbing his shirt and coat, before leaving the bedroom, slamming the door shut.

Itachi groaned, cradling his family jewels, resting his forehead against the cool wooden surface of his bedroom floor. A few minutes later his door opening and Kakashi's stern voice rang out. "Uchiha Itachi, get your ass up and bring Kyuubi back, right now."

Itachi flinched at the cold tone in Kakashi's usually bored voice. "I'm kind of busy, you know. The unbearable pain, really is unbearable…" he gasped as Kakashi yanked him up to his feet.

"Your mate, Itachi. Is out there, alone. In a world where fucking tomcats will try to rape him!" Kakashi snapped, very close to smacking Itachi.

Itachi bit his lip "Kyuubi's pissed off at me, send Naruto or Iruka out after him." Kakashi's visible eye narrowed.

"He's _your_ mate, _your_ lover, the mother of _your_ children! He _your_ responsibility!" Kakashi dragged Itachi over to where his coat was, threw it at the cat, at pointed out the door. "Fetch." He stated simply, "Or…" he added at the glare Itachi gave him "…I'll inform your mother…"

Itachi sprinted out the door 10 seconds later, searching for his mate's scent, cursing when he realized it was windy outside.

* * *

Sasuke watched this scene play out from his bedroom door. He walked back over to a worried Naruto, still lying in bed. "Nii-san's after him…don't worry." He added, sliding on the sheets over to Naruto, who nodded, the worried expression still on his face. Sasuke continued to watch Naruto worry over his brother until an idea popped in his head. "Wanna take a bath?" he asked, inwardly smirking with Naruto looked at him curiously.

* * *

"Waaa! Sasuke! It's so pretty!" Naruto stared in awe, the older cat's bathroom was quite large and had a huge bath in one corner that could easily fit 5 people. Said bath was filled with steamy water, with a mix of flower scented bath soaps and rose petals scattered across the surface. Five, small, rose-shaped, candle holders, with pink, rose scented candles in them, floated on the surface, making the room smell even more like a flower garden.

Sasuke was glad his mate was pleased, he'd gone on the internet and read an interesting fanfiction about two men that'd done 'it' in a tub, and decided he might as well give it a try. If he and his mate were to go thru their next heat together, which Sasuke swore they would, he wanted Naruto to be nice and experienced at this.(XD Sasuke you pervert!)

Naruto immediately began stripping, but Sasuke stopped him. "I'll do it for you…" Sasuke purred, rubbing against Naruto sensually.

Naruto suddenly thought that maybe a bath wasn't such a good idea after all. "S-Sasuke, why don't you t-take a bath first! I'll wait until you're done!" he tried to remove himself from Sasuke's grip, but found it impossible. "S-Sasuke! Let go!...Kyah!" he squealed when Sasuke began to rip his pajamas off. "N-NOO!!!" he wailed, kicking and shoving at the older cat, hissing.

"Calm down, it's just a bath!" Sasuke snapped, annoyed that his mate wouldn't strip.

"Nuuu…!!!" Naruto screeched, as Sasuke, finally managing to get rid of their clothes, hoisted him up and climbed into the bath, using his tail to swipe away any candles in their way.

The brunette almost creamed himself when Naruto moaned as his body hit the warm water. "Sasuke!" Naruto whined half-heartily as the warm water went up to his neck. "Don't…"

'_I will not rape him, I will not rape him-_'

"Sasuke, it's too hot! Let go!"

'_Do not rape, do not rape_!'

Sasuke flinched when he felt Naruto rubbing against a special place in between his legs. "Sasuke, are you listening? I can take a shower okay? Lemme go!" Naruto whined, squirming slightly on Sasuke's lap, not noticing the older cat go rigid.

'…_Rape. Now_!'

Sasuke immediately chomped onto Naruto's neck, the blonde crying out. "Sasuke?! Sasuke! Why are you hurting me!? Ow! Sasuke!" Naruto squealed as his mate shoved him against the wall of the bathtub. "Sasuke?" Naruto mewled when he saw the look of hunger on the Uchiha's face. "Sasu…"

"Naruto, my pretty little mate♥" Sasuke purred in delight, his tail gliding underwater to intertwine with one of Naruto's rigid ones. "Let me have you, I'll make you feel so good♥" he rubbed in erection against Naruto's thigh, causing the blonde fox to stiffen even more.

"I-I…NO!" Naruto cried, scared for his life. He remembered how Kyuubi had been aching after his mating session on the ride home, he seriously didn't want to deal with that.

"Shh…just give me your body and I'll make everything feel good…" Sasuke assured the frightened kitten, slipping between those delicate tan legs "Naru…" he purred into the blonde's ear, grinding their hips together.

"Ahhnn…ah! Sasu…" Naruto cried, unconsciously grinding back against Sasuke, his own erection stirring.

"Nnn…Naru…my pretty kitten…" Sasuke groaned, thrusting against the blonde, who gasped.

* * *

Kakashi giggled, listening to the naughty kittie's 'play time' through the door, holding a struggling Iruka.

"MMM! MMPH! HMPH! ( Naruto! Hang on baby! Daddy's coming!)" Iruka considered biting the hand over his mouth, but found that Kakashi had held his mouth so that he couldn't even open it. 'Bastard…' he thought darkly.

"Now, now, Iruka. It's not nice to interrupt someone else's mission…" Kakashi tutted.

* * *

Sasuke flipped the blonde onto his hands and knees, rubbing his erection against Naruto's tight hole, the water sloshing up to Naruto's chin "Naruto, put your hands on the bath ledge." He ordered, making sure he didn't drown the kitten in the process of mating with him. He shoved those beautiful, yet annoying at a time like this, tails away.

Naruto gripped the ledge tightly, mewling softly, begging Sasuke to enter him. Which the brunette did in one thrust. "Itai!" he wailed as Sasuke shoved inside him roughly, before pulling out and repeating. "Sasuke it-ow!- it HURTS!" he cried, trying to squirm away from those painful thrusts.

"Shh…Na-Naru…it'll feel better soon…I promise…oh gods, your tight!" Sasuke growled, thrusting into the blonde, trying to find the blonde's prostrate.

"AHH!!! _SASUKE_!!!" Naruto screamed, seeing spots. "A-again!" he begged, the brunette happily complying. He felt something war coiling in the pit of his stomach, ready to burst, he tilted his head back giving a loud cry as he came, his cum mixing with the scented water.

Sasuke cursed as he felt Naruto's tight grip grow even tighter. "Ah! Fuck! Naru…!" he shouted, filling the fox with his seed.

Naruto whimpered, slumping against the ledge, unconscious.

* * *

Kyuubi, sat on the park bench, watching the children play in a small playground. His hands circled his waist. '_Doesn't Itachi care...?_' he thought numbly, '…_and who the hell is Kisame_?' he added angrily. '_The nerve of that leopard! Calling out someone else's name…_' He sighed, standing up, and turning towards home. '_I suppose I should go home, Iruka and Naruto are probably worried, and Itachi needs to beg my ass for forgiveness…_'

He walked slowly along, lost to his thoughts, unaware of the animal with a knife before it was too late, the steel glinting as it sped in an arc towards his stomach. He screamed in pure agony as the knife sliced across his stomach and his arms cradling it.

His attacker watched as the fox crumpled to the ground, whimpering, trying to make use of his injured arms, the dark substance already dripping out of the bloodied slash of his coat. The animal hurriedly slipped the blood-covered knife into his pocket and disappeared into the woods.

* * *

May: oooo…cliffy! Now I must write the next part! Right now! Because even I can't take the suspense –evil cackle-


	6. two

May: yes I'm writing this immediately after the ending of the next chapter…also...TWO CHAPTER'S IN ONE DAY!

* * *

Previously:

_Kyuubi, sat on the park bench, watching the children play in a small playground. His hands circled his waist. 'Doesn't Itachi care..?' he thought numbly, '…and who the hell is Kisame?' he added angrily. 'The nerve of that leopard! Calling out someone else's name…' He sighed, standing up, and turning towards home. 'I suppose I should go home, Iruka and Naruto are probably worried, and Itachi needs to beg my ass for forgiveness…' _

_He walked slowly along, lost to his thoughts, unaware of the animal with a knife before it was too late, the steel glinting as it sped in an arc towards his stomach. He screamed in pure agony as the knife sliced across his stomach and his arms cradling it._

_His attacker watched as the fox crumpled to the ground, whimpering, trying to make use of his injured arms, the dark substance already dripping out of the bloodied slash of his coat. The animal hurriedly slipped the blood-covered knife into his pocket and disappeared into the woods.

* * *

_

Itachi walked quickly through the park, the setting sun worrying him. He'd just called Kakashi who stated that Kyuubi hadn't gone back to the house yet. "Dammit Kyuubi, the second I find you I'm gonna-" he froze. The smell...

Blood. Not just any blood. _Kyuubi's_ blood.

"…No!" he sprinted forward, already dialing 911 on his cell phone. "Shit! Where are you?" the stench swamped him, teasing him darkly.

"_Hello_?" an attendant asked calmly on the line.

"Get an ambulance down to Southern Meriko Park!" he shouted before closing the phone with a snap, continuing to look around frantically. "Kyuubi! Kyuubi!" he spun around, it was faint, but the heard a whimper. "Kyuubi?!"

He broke thru the trees and entered a small clearing. The sight made his stomach want to empty it's contents.

Kyuubi's dirty, bloodied form laid curled on the ground. The only thing that assured the fox was still alive was his shivering form and quick gasps of air. "…Chi…" Kyuubi whimpered, wincing.

* * *

So dark, pitch-black, he couldn't see anything. He was numb all over. He barely heard Itachi call his name. '_Itachi! Please, find me…please…'_

* * *

Itachi pulled the shivering redhead into his arms "Kyuubi! Kyuubi! Look at me! Don't close your eyes!" his grip tightened, he could feel the life slipping from his mate. "Kyuubi! Dammit! Kyuubi, I'm sorry! Kisame was a one-time fling! I was drunk! Don't die on me!" Itachi bit his lip as he heard ambulances, still with his hearing they were far away.

"…Ita…chi?" Kyuubi softly questioned.

Itachi leaned forward "Yes? Kyuubi? Kyuubi!"

"The…kits..?" Kyuubi whimpered.

Itachi had half the mind to the yell at Kyuubi for thinking about a bunch of runts that didn't even get a gulp of air over his own condition. "…Their fine…but they need you to _stay awake_…"

"I…can't…dark…" Kyuubi weakly clung to leopard, trying to stay conscious.

"Yes you _can_! Listen! The medics are coming!" Itachi heard their stomping feet. "Over hear! Hurry up, dammit!"

"I don't…" Kyuubi whispered, eyes fluttering closed.

"Kyuubi? Kyuubi?! Shit! Keep your eyes open! Kyuubi!"

The fox was too far gone for hearing.

"Kyuubi!"

* * *

Sasuke rubbed Naruto back, the blonde burying his face into Sasuke's shirt. "K-Kyuu-nii…" he sobbed.

"It's okay…Naruto…" Sasuke blinked in surprise as Naruto yanked out of his grip.

"No it's _not_! Kyuu-nii…he's, he's…" Naruto broke into a series of wails.

"You're right…I'm sorry…" Sasuke replied quietly, pulling the blonde back into his arms. He glanced up when Iruka walked in.

"Naruto…" the blonde glanced up at the tone in his master's voice. "...Tsunade called…she says that Kyuubi's been stabilized, we can visit him in the morning…"

* * *

May: for those who thought even for a sec that I killed Kyuubi; you all think too highly of me in the angst department...

for those who know I'm a wimp and wouldn't have killed Kyuubi; great insight!

-runs before barrage of sharp implements hits home-


	7. Semes

May: next chapter! Beware…extremely pissy Itachi in his chapter! Thanks for all the reviews! I WINNING!

* * *

_Sasuke rubbed Naruto back, the blonde burying his face into Sasuke's shirt. "K-Kyuu-nii…" he sobbed._

"_It's okay…Naruto…" Sasuke blinked in surprise as Naruto yanked out of his grip._

"_No it's not! Kyuu-nii…he's, he's…" Naruto broke into a series of wails._

"_You're right…I'm sorry…" Sasuke replied quietly, pulling the blonde back into his arms. He glanced up when Iruka walked in._

"_Naruto…" the blonde glanced up at the tone in his master's voice. "Tsunade called…she says that Kyuubi's been stabilized, we can visit him in the morning…"

* * *

_

Bandages were wrapped around Kyuubi's abdomen and fore arms, as well as a roll around his head where he suffered a concussion from the fall. An IV was plugged into his arm, giving blood, a mask was placed over his mouth and nose.

Itachi bit his lip, fisting his hands. 'How did this happen?' he glared hatefully at the ground, his head filling up with various ideas 'Mugging, rape,' his narrowed in anger even more 'or it could have been because of me, what I said or did…' "Dammit!" he hissed, his nails starting to bite so deeply into his skin that it bled.

He didn't hear Iruka walk in. He jumped when the man placed a hand on his shoulder "Itachi, Kakashi and Tsunade need to speak with you about Kyuubi's condition." Itachi nodded stiffly, turning to walk out the door.

He blinked when he saw Naruto standing in the door, a hand over his mouth, ears flat against his head, eyes wide in mute horror. Sasuke wrapped his arms reassuringly around Naruto, whispering gently and soothingly into his ear.

The blonde whined before breaking free and running to Kyuubi's side. "Kyuu-nii? Kyuu-nii?!" Naruto whimpered, tears filling his eyes. "_Kyuu-nii_!"

Itachi glanced at Sasuke, who met his gaze, they gave silent nods. Itachi continued to walk out the door and Sasuke went up to Naruto's side, placing a hand on Naruto's shoulder.

* * *

"_**WHAT?!**_" Itachi growled fiercely, slamming his hands down on Tsunade's desk, nails digging into the wood. "What did the son of a bitch that hurt _my_ mate do to _my_ kits?!" Itachi snarled, eyes narrowing.

Kakashi couldn't help but grin grimly 'At least he's more protective of them now…'

"I'm saying that Kyuubi originally had 3 kits growing inside him…" Tsunade continued "Two of them were killed by the knife wound given to Kyuubi's abdomen. However, the third, and would-be runt of the litter survived because Kyuubi's arms were in the way." Itachi let out a deep growl.

"Not only did he almost kill Kyuubi, he managed to kill two of my kits?!" Itachi's nails dug into the wood of Tsunade's desk so deeply it cracked.

Tsunade choose her next words carefully "…we know for a fact that Kyuubi's wounds will heal up, no scars what-so-ever, however, we must operate to remove the fetuses of the two dead kits and check on the live one…do we have your consent?"

"Operate?" Kakashi questioned, before Itachi interrupted in a more violent gesture.

"You're going to slit open my mate's stomach, _again_?!" Itachi leaned menacingly towards Tsunade, who frowned "I won't let you." He stated flatly, challenging the woman to oppose him.

"If we live the corpses in there, they'll either calcify and cause Kyuubi large amounts of pain, not to mention making it near impossible for the kit to be born without C-section, or act as a trigger for a miscarriage, killing the last kit in the process." Tsunade returned Itachi's glare with a calm stare. "Either way, Kyuubi'll be in more pain then if we operate now…" she waited for the brunette's answer.

Itachi bit his lip, why was everyone out to harm his mate and kits?! "Damn, fine." He hissed, before walking out the door and slamming it shut.

Tsunade sighed "Well, let's go…"

* * *

Naruto sniffed, watching his brother's body for any signs of waking up or moving besides the steady rise and fall of his chest. "Kyuu-nii…" he whimpered, tearing up again.

"Naruto…" Sasuke turned the blonde's chin to look at him. "Your eyes are swollen, and I know your tired…please, let's go home and sleep. Nii-san's here as well as Kakashi and Iruka, and you need to rest." He trying pulling Naruto out of his chair but the blonde didn't budge.

"W-what if he wakes up soon?" Naruto tried pulling his arm from Sasuke's steel grip. "I need to be here!" he whined at Sasuke who growled.

"Naruto. You're going home, to rest. Now! Besides, don't you think Itachi should have a right to speak to Kyuubi first so he can apologize?" he nodded and the fox's silence "That's what I thought, let's go…" he tugged Naruto out of the chair and pulled him to the door.

Naruto glanced back at Kyuubi "I'll be back soon, Kyuu-nii…"

* * *

Anger and worry mixed into one Uchiha Itachi was not at all a good thing. The operation would last 15 hours, at the least. Meaning 15 hours of Itachi not being able to see his mate, 15 hours that the fox could die and he wouldn't know, 15 hours and waiting in the worst place on earth, letting the worst kind of people slice open his love's stomach and toy with his insides.

He crossed his arms and uncrossed them, imagining his mate screaming in pain as that evil witch bitch, Tsunade, poked at his intestines, grinning madly. Several times he considered knocking down the door the to operating ward, but voted against it.

Iruka twiddled his fingers nervously, glancing at the door to the operating ward often. 'Kyuubi…Gods, protect him…' Iruka made a quick prayer to Inari, the God of the Foxes for both Kyuubi and Naruto, who Sasuke had more or less thrown into Asuma's car, Kakashi had called him up to take the two home.

Kakashi leaned against the wall calmly, use to waiting like this, sipped at his coffee and glanced at his watch briefly before taking another sip.

* * *

Naruto mewled in delight, toes curling as Sasuke's tongue ran up his shaft "Sasu…" he moaned breathlessly as the leopard, took him into his mouth completely "Ahhnn…" he tilted his head back on his pillow, crying out as his release came, before passing out.

Sasuke swallowed every drop of Naruto's essence, he let go of the now limp organ and slid up next to the blonde, yanking the covers up. He couldn't help but smirk. His mate's sexual tolerance was death-drop low.

* * *

Sexual tolerance in my demented mind is similar to alcoholic tolerance, or how long before you get drunk, sexual tolerance being how long until you pass out…XD


	8. named

May:…I think my food went bad…my printer is telling me in Alvin and the Chipmunk style "we didn't do it!" what do you guys think?

* * *

_Anger and worry mixed into one Uchiha Itachi was not at all a good thing. The operation would last 15 hours, at the least. Meaning 15 hours of Itachi not being able to see his mate, 15 hours that the fox could die and he wouldn't know, 15 hours and waiting in the worst place on earth, letting the worst kind of people slice open his love's stomach and toy with his insides._

_He crossed his arms and uncrossed them, imagining his mate screaming in pain as that evil witch bitch, Tsunade, poked at his intestines, grinning madly. Several times he considered knocking down the door the to operating ward, but voted against it._

_Iruka twiddled his fingers nervously, glancing at the door to the operating ward often. 'Kyuubi…Gods, protect him…' Iruka made a quick prayer to Inari, the God of the Foxes for both Kyuubi and Naruto, who Sasuke had more or less thrown into Asuma's car, Kakashi had called him up to take the two home._

_Kakashi leaned against the wall calmly, use to waiting like this, sipped at his coffee and glanced at his watch briefly before taking another sip.

* * *

_

_Naruto mewled in delight, toes curling as Sasuke's tongue ran up his shaft "Sasu…" he moaned breathlessly as the leopard, took him into his mouth completely "Ahhnn…" he tilted his head back on his pillow, crying out as his release came, before passing out._

_Sasuke swallowed every drop of Naruto's essence, he let go of the now limp organ and slid up next to the blonde, yanking the covers up. He couldn't help but smirk. His mate's sexual tolerance was death-drop low.

* * *

_

Itachi's tail twitched, he fought the urge to rip out Tsunade's throat. Better?! His mate looked worse! He glared fiercely at the busty blonde, who sighed.

"He looks worse because he's been thinned out due to the fact he's lost two kits. He won't regain consciousness until tomorrow…" she added. Itachi continued to glare at her.

"I'm. Staying. Here." He growled, sitting firmly in the chair beside Kyuubi's bed.

Tsunade sweatdropped "Uh…yeah." '_He's like a some-what mature kid…_'

Itachi's eyes stayed on the doctor till the door closed. He turned back to face Kyuubi "Hey, wake up soon, I hate this place with a passion…" he frowned, leaning on the bed. "…Sorry, I think have to repeat this when you're conscious to avoid getting my ass beat by a preggy…" he brushed his lips against Kyuubi's cheek, the oxygen mask blocking his mate's lips. "I'm sorry…okay? Please don't try to kill me and exact revenge on Sasuke and Kakashi because I pissed you off…"

* * *

Naruto fidgeted slightly as Sasuke brushed his hair. "Sasuke…?"

"Damn, this stuff won't stay down…" Sasuke frowned, brushing the same lock of hair he'd been brushing for the past 4 minutes. Yet again, the spike bounced right back up. "Yeah?" he replied, glancing down at Naruto, who squirmed.

"Iruka says Kyuu-nii's out of surgery…can we visit him?" Naruto looked at up Sasuke "Please?" his voice ending in a small whine.

"…We'll wait until he wakes up…but right now, you have to meet my parents…" Naruto sweatdropped, Sasuke made it sound like he had to go against the world famous boxer, Momochi Zabuza.

"Uhuh…"

* * *

"O-M-G! He's sooo… cute!" Uchiha Mitoko squealed, hugging a terrified Naruto, Sasuke watching the scene helplessly. "My grandkids are going to be so _cute_! KYAH!" she purred, tail wagging rapidly behind her. She was dressed in a white blouse and dark blue slacks.

Uchiha Fugaku coughed, dressed in a gray business suit, stepping on thin ice, "Mitoko… darling, I think that's enough hugging of your son-in-law…" he flinched when Mitoko turned on him.

"_**You can **__**never**__** over-hug someone this **__**cute**__**! Got it buster**_?" Mitoko replied, a deadly glint in her eyes. Fugaku gulped, nodding. She smiled "Susu-chan♥ My lovely little kitty, come over here and give mommy a hug!"

Naruto snorted at the idea of "Susu-chan" being a "kitty" he almost passed out laughing when Sasuke replied, a deep flush to his face, "Yes mommy…"

Mitoko stared at the blonde fox laughing hysterically in one arm before looking over at Sasuke, who resembled a ripe tomato, in the other "What's the matter with your mate?"

"H-he-he c-ca-cal-called y-you…m-mom-mommy!" Naruto gasped between bursts of laughter that immediately died down when Mitoko glared at him.

"What's wrong with that?!" she snapped at the petrified blonde "No matter how old Sasuke and Itachi are they will always be my kitties and I will always be their mommy." She stated matter-of-factly.

Sasuke, in an attempt to steer themselves away from the "danger zone" spoke up "Mommy…" he muttered "Nii-san's mate is in the hospital, Naruto's owner is over there too…" he lowered his gaze, afraid to see his mother's reaction.

Mitoko stared blankly at Sasuke's head "Hospital…" her expression darkened "He sure as hell better be there for a checkup…" she hissed, her hair rising till her tail resembled a ball of fur.

"Nii-san…was attacked…" Naruto whimpered. Mitoko turned her demon gaze on him before her eyes softened as the tears in Naruto's eyes.

"My poor baby!" Mitoko cooed, cuddling Naruto who began sniffling. "Let's go see your brother, ne?"

* * *

"K-Kyuubi!" Itachi stuttered, ducking the next container of food from the red head's lunch, the mashed potatoes flying over his right shoulder.

"Where _were_ you?! My _kits_! What happened to them?!" Kyuubi screeched, grabbing his glass of water, full and made of actual glass; poor Itachi.

"Y-you had surgery…two of them…" Itachi trailed off hesitantly meeting Kyuubi's gaze.

"What…" The red head lowered the glass, the contents spilling out and splashing onto the ground, the cup soon following, shattering. His eyes widened in realization "My babies…..." Kyuubi moaned in pure agony, slumping onto his bed, arms encircling his waist "T-they…" he whimpered, tears clouding his eyes, his ears drooped, tails limp. "Oh Gods…" he sobbed, hunching over "No! No! No!" he wailed, protesting as Itachi tried to pull him into his arms.

"Shh…Kyuubi, calm down…" Itachi tried to sooth the red head who glared up at him.

"Calm down?! Calm down?! My kits…my babies! How…how am I supposed to calm down?!" Kyuubi screamed, pounding on Itachi's chest "Where were you? Why couldn't I have…oh my god…" Kyuubi rested his forehead. on Itachi's chest, his frame shaking "They're, they're gone? All of them?" he whimpered.

Itachi mentally winced in pain from the look of despair in Kyuubi's eyes as well as the soreness Kyuubi's beating caused. "There's one left…" he replied, stroking Kyuubi's hair. "Your protected it with your arms…" he kissed the fox's wet cheeks.

"J-just one?" Kyuubi whimpered, bowing his head "That's all?" he whispered.

Itachi buried his face into Kyuubi's hair "I'm sorry…" he replied, running his fingers through Kyuubi's red locks gently "I'm so sorry…" he repeated.

"Only one…" Kyuubi buried his face into the crook of Itachi's neck.

* * *

Tsunade watched the scene through the glass on the room door, she sighed, deciding to inform the Uchiha's on Kyuubi's condition, to give Itachi some time to calm Kyuubi down.

* * *

Tsunade flinched when a dangerous air surrounded Mitoko, everyone visibly scooted farther away from the mother leopard. "Who slit my baby's mate's stomach?" she growled lowly, nails digging into the armrests of her chair.

"We don't know yet…maybe Kyuubi would know, however he and Itachi are…recovering from their fight-" SNAP, Tsunade and company watched in fear as Mitoko successfully took off both of the armrests on her chair.

"Fight…?" she turned to Kakashi and Iruka who visibly flinched.

"Yes, Kyuubi's hormones-"

"I don't give a damn about Kyuubi's hormones. Itachi saw my pregnancy with Sasuke, he knows better to argue with his mate." Mitoko stated calmly, pure rage smoldering in her eyes.

Fugaku sweatdropped, leaning away from his wife even more. Mitoko could make the devil beg for mercy when she wanted to. He silently praised Sasuke on being able to ditch them by saying Naruto was hungry. 'Itachi…nice knowing you, son…'

* * *

Sasuke sat at the cafeteria, exactly two floors away from his mother and her violent tendencies.

The leopard sighed, petting Naruto on the head as the blonde nibbled on his tuna sandwich, on his lap. 'By now Mom should be screaming and beating Itachi into his grave. Uchiha Itachi; son, brother, mate, and avid pursuer of yaoi manga, videos, and games…heh, has a nice ring to it…' he smirked, biting Naruto's ear affectionately, earning a small whine.

"Sasuke♥" Naruto whined playfully, swallowing the tuna in his mouth. "Why did you bite me?"

"No reason, just wondering what else to put on nii-san's grave."

"Did you put yaoi freak?"

"Yup." Sasuke sipped on his coke.

"Hmm…How about dad?"

Sasuke choked on his drink, Naruto frowned in worry, smacking his back. "W-what?!" Sasuke coughed.

"Well, Kyuu-nii _is_ pregnant, dummy." Naruto purred affectionately, giggling at his mate's reaction. "Just like you'll be next year…" he purred into Sasuke's ear, biting it return.

Sasuke paled slightly, remembering what his brother had to go through with Kyuubi "Y-you know, Naru… if you don't want to get pregnant next year…" he looked hopefully at Naruto who laughed.

"Is Susu-chan worried?" Naruto purred, kissing Sasuke on the cheek.

"Don't call me that…" Sasuke growled in warning.

Naruto pouted cutely "But your mommy calls you that." He snickered.

Sasuke glare intensified "Naruto…" he snarled, as the fox slipped off his lap, dancing away, chanting "Susu-chan's mommy is the incarnate of the devil!" he ran after the blonde as Naruto rounded the corner.

He blinked in surprise as Naruto's hand darted out of a storage closet, grabbing Sasuke by the collar with surprising strength and dragging him into the closet, the door closing with a click.

Sasuke frowned as his eyes adjusted to the darkness, focusing as Naruto locked the door "Naru…?" he blinked in surprise as the fox pushed him to the floor, straddling his hips.

"Sasuke…mate with me…" Naruto purred, grinding against the leopard's hips.

Sasuke stifled a moan "Naruto…what the hell…" he groaned, gripping the blonde's hips, stilling the fox's movements.

"Sasuke…I want you in me…" Naruto purred, eyes half-lidded, Sasuke stared as they irises changing to a bloody red color.

Sasuke's eyes widened as a familiar scent washed over him "Y-you're in heat?! How?! Mating season…"

Naruto just laughed childishly, leaning down to unbutton Sasuke's shirt.

* * *

"Oh shit!" Iruka shot up as a horrible thought hit him. "Today's Naruto's day!" he looked around frantically, his gaze resting on Mitoko, still riding out her anger streak on the slowly crumbling chair. "Did you bring Naruto with you?!" he asked in panic.

Mitoko raised a brow, nodding "Sasuke took him to the cafeteria for food." She replied, standing up. "Why?"

Iruka fidgeted "Well, before Sasuke and Itachi claimed Naruto and Kyuubi as their mate, every month, even outside of mating season, they have a "special" condition that causes them to go into heat for a day…now Naruto won't get pregnant due to the fact Sasuke's not his heat right now…but Naruto'll most likely have Sasuke mate with him." He sweatdropped at the blank faces.

"So?" Kakashi questioned.

Iruka groaned "_In_ the _hospital_, _in_ some _random closet_! Where someone could _find_ them!?"

"Oh…Let's go…" Mitoko watched as Kakashi and Iruka sprinted out the door before turning back to Tsunade.

"I want to speak with my older son." She stated simply. Tsunade had a feeling more than "speaking" would be going on, however she didn't care as long as they didn't damage anything.

"This way…"

* * *

May: cliffy! XD so funny… next chapter, Naruto and Sasuke mating! Itachi getting beaten to a bloody pulp and Kyuubi's attacker revealed! By the way! my art teacher's pregnant! And she works at Medival Times! And she's legally married to a knight that works there! XDDD

Kk: okay, may…the audience looks ready to rip your throat out…"

May: Dutifully noted –runs away–


	9. Sasuke

"_Sasuke…I want you in me…" Naruto purred, eyes half-lidded, Sasuke stared as they irises changing to a bloody red color._

_Sasuke's eyes widened as a familiar scent washed over him "Y-you're in heat?! How?! Mating season…"_

_Naruto just laughed childishly, leaning down to unbutton Sasuke's shirt.

* * *

_

"_Oh shit!" Iruka shot up as a horrible thought hit him. "Today's Naruto's day!" he looked around frantically, his gaze resting on Mitoko, still riding out her anger streak on the slowly crumbling chair. "Did you bring Naruto with you?!" he asked in panic._

_Mitoko raised a brow, nodding "Sasuke took him to the cafeteria for food." She replied, standing up. "Why?"_

_Iruka fidgeted "Well, before Sasuke and Itachi claimed Naruto and Kyuubi as their mate, every month, even outside of mating season, they have a "special" condition that causes them to go into heat for a day…now Naruto won't get pregnant due to the fact Sasuke's not his heat right now…but Naruto'll most likely have Sasuke mate with him." He sweatdropped at the blank faces._

"_So?" Kakashi questioned._

_Iruka groaned "In the hospital, in some random closet! Where someone could find them!?"_

"_Oh…Let's go…" Mitoko watched as Kakashi and Iruka sprinted out the door before turning back to Tsunade. _

"_I want to speak with my older son." She stated simply. Tsunade had a feeling more than "speaking" would be going on, however she didn't care as long as they didn't damage anything._

"_This way…"

* * *

_

May: Ah…the next chapter…enjoy!

* * *

Kyuubi nuzzled into Itachi's chest, sighing deeply. After explaining-thoroughly-that Kisame was just a one time fling at a bar a few months back, Itachi had earned the fox's forgiveness…barely.

"Nnn…Itachi…what about Naruto? Wasn't he worried?" Kyuubi looked up at the leopard.

Itachi snorted. "He was a little busying getting fucked into the bed by Sasuke, according to Kakashi." He lifted a brow when Kyuubi straightened up to stare at him in disbelief.

"He fucked? With Sasuke? And I _MISSED IT_?! AND KAKASHI'S DIDN'T EVEN _RECORD_ IT?! WHAT THE _FUCK_!?" Kyuubi shouted, yanking at his hair in anger. "Argh!"

"Seriously Kyuubi, that's mean…" Itachi replied "To believe that Kakashi would be stupid enough _not_ to bug his pets' room…" He smirked when Kyuubi looked at him, a grin creeping up his face.

"Please tell me you can get me the tapes."

"For you Kyuubi, dear, I could get you a tape of Kakashi and Iruka screwing; for blackmailing purposes only, of course…maybe…" Itachi smirked when Kyuubi swapped at him absentmindedly with his tail, busy thinking of the large amount of blackmail one could obtain.

"Don't call me "dear"…it sounds like the dumb animal."

"How about darling?" Itachi tugged Kyuubi into his lap.

"Eww…what is this? _Gone With Wind_?" Kyuubi frowned, glancing at Itachi "When am I allowed out of this hellhole?"

"That's what I'm wondering." Itachi replied, glancing out the small window on the door, to the hallway, he screamed-like a little girl-when he saw his mother's face-glaring at him darkly through the window. (A/N: think Japanese horror flick style)

"What?! What?!" Kyuubi followed Itachi's gaze towards the window and screamed as well, clinging to the leopard-who looked liked he wanted his mommy- oh wait, she's the one out to kill him…never mind, maybe his dad? Well, not much he could do at the moment; considering he was outside, hiding around the corner like a sane person.

Mitoko slammed open the door, Kyuubi and Itachi flinching. "You…" she growled lowly.

"M-mother…" Itachi whimpered, clinging to Kyuubi just as much-if not more- as the fox was clinging to him.

"Mother?" Kyuubi glanced between Itachi and Mitoko, noticing the similarity, he paled, realizing just how much Kakashi's threats to 'inform' Itachi and Sasuke's mother, frightened them. He could see damn well why. "Umm…Mrs. Uchiha…" he greeted awkwardly, deciding on the 'submissive' approach to things. "I'm Kyuubi, Itachi's mate, and it's a pleasure to meet you…" he trailed off as Mitoko started walking towards them.

Itachi pulled Kyuubi closer, substituting him for the giant teddy bear he'd clung to whenever his mother got mad at him. The teddy bear-a gift from his mother- sometimes made her rethink punishing him-Lord knows how a parent's thought process works- hence the reason he'd carried it around until he was 17.

"How…could you let your mate be injured so _severely_?!" she effortlessly yanked Itachi out of Kyuubi's grasp, the redhead watching as his mother-in-law, shook Itachi like a rag doll, smacking him occasionally. "HAVE I TAUGHT YOU _NOTHING_?!" she threw-yes, as in flying- Itachi against the wall and proceeded to kick him. "YOUR MATE HAD TO GO INTO _SURGERY_! YOU'RE DOMINANT AREN'T YOU?! YOU HAVE TO _PROTECT_ YOUR MATE! _**BAKA**_!!!!" she screeched, emphasized every word with a kick (A/N: …now…this a child abuse…and funny...i'm such a bad person! TT)

Kyuubi, watched in tears as his mate's life expectancy dropped like a fat man on an icy sidewalk. An equally crying Itachi, weakly tried to block his mother's hits, curled into a small ball.

"M-mommy…" Itachi whimpered, seriously wishing he'd brought his teddy bear.

"DON'T "MOMMY" ME?! DO YOU THINK YOU AND SASUKE WERE BORN BECAUSE I LET THAT IDIOT, MITSUKI COURT ME?! HUH?!" Mitoko cackled evilly, grabbing Itachi's crumpled form and pulling him up. "Now…what have we learned from this lesson, Itachi dear?"

"…N…no leave …mate…" Itachi stuttered, feeling blood drip down from his temple.

"Proper. _Grammar_!" Mitoko hissed, eyes narrowing.

"N-not to leave…m-my mate a-alone." Itachi replied shakily, feeling the door to unconsciousness coming up fast.

"…Good boy…" Mitoko nodded, letting her son go.

Kyuubi watched in a mix of worry and fear and Itachi collapsed to the ground, unconscious. He whimpered, leaning back as Mitoko turned to face him.

He stared as Mitoko smiled brightly at him.

"Hello, Kyuubi-chan! I'm Uchiha Mitoko. Pleased to meet you!" she chirped happily, ignoring the bloody bundle behind her that some would still consider her son.

Kyuubi promptly fainted from shock.

Mitoko gasped "Oh dear! The poor thing needs a doctor!"

* * *

"Dammit! Naruto, if you think I'm being the uke, you got shit coming!" Sasuke cursed, tugging the crude bindings of a nurse's scrub Naruto had found and tied around his wrists, looping them over a low coat hook, causing Sasuke to be almost straight against the wall, with an affectionate Naruto rubbing against him, purring.

"Uke? You're joking, right? As if I'd trust you with our babies." Naruto smirked, his tails waving behind him. Sasuke glared at the blonde fox.

"Naruto. Untie. Me." He snarled, snapping at the lips that tried to kiss him.

Naruto frowned at his mate's unwillingness. "Sasuke." He huffed impatiently "I want to- and am- going to ride you. Period." He stood up, toying with his pants' button, smirking when Sasuke's eyes zeroed in on that spot. He unbuttoned the top, slowly slipping down the zipper, bit by bit. He laughed when Sasuke frowned and stated;

"Damn tease."

He wiggled out of the pants, revealing the lack underwear, driving Sasuke's pheromones wild. "Enjoying this?" Naruto smiled at the alluring scent his mate was giving off.

"I'd enjoy it more if you'd untie me so I could pound that ass of yours…" Sasuke muttered under his breath, eyes still glued to the lower half of his mate's body.

Naruto giggled in reply, dropping down, his knees on either side of Sasuke's thighs. He ran his hands down the- unfortunately- clothed chest, reaching the hem of the shirt.

He'd wanted to do a little foreplay with his mate, but his self-control was lacking…a lot.

Sasuke hissed when Naruto freed his erection, the rod pointing into the sky.

"Mmm…" Naruto rubbed his member against Sasuke's earning a small groan. "Sasuke…" he purred, lifting his hips till he was poised over it.

And then the door burst open.

"Naruto! Your tracking chip sa-HOLY SHIT!" Iruka squeaked when he saw the position the two pets were in. "Omigod!" he screeched, covering his eyes.

Naruto, fearing more interuption, immediately slammed himself onto Sasuke, earning a cry from both of them. He clenched the leopard's erection with his inner muscles, riding him fast and hard.

Kakashi grabbed a hyperventilating Iruka and dragged him out into the hallway, closing the door behind him.

"Why?! Why God, _Why_?! My innocent little Naruto! Kyuubi I can understand but, JESUS!" Iruka wailed, burying his face in his hands, going unnoticed by most people, it _was_ a hospital after all.

"There, there, all life must reproduce…" Kakashi muttered, glancing behind him at the closet, where moans and cries of pleasure were coming through clearly. Now people stopped for _that_.

* * *

"Ah! Sasu-Ah!" Naruto cried, gripping Sasuke's shoulders tightly, sliding up and down on the brunette's shaft.

"N-Naru…" Sasuke groaned, thrusting as hard as he could into the blonde's tight heat.

"Ah…ah! Oh…Sasuke!" Naruto screamed, tilting his head back, his release shooting onto their stomachs.

"Shit! Naruto!" Sasuke moaned, filling the fox's tight chamber with his seed.

Naruto slumped against Sasuke's chest, shivering in the after pleasure "…Sasuke, we have to clean up now… I can hear Iruka crying outside the door."

Sasuke grunted in agreement.

* * *

"And he almost agreed to sleep with him! The horror!"

"His own cousin? Is that some kind of narcissism?"

Itachi twitched, as he watched his mother and mate discuss the more embarrassing parts of his childhood. He had a few bandages wrapped around his head and arms, along with some band-aids on his cheek, but that was it, besides the bruises that were already appearing on various places of his skin.

He wisely didn't tell either of them to stop, his mother was even more dangerous when provoked.

He looked up as Tsunade appeared at the doorway "Well, Kyuubi's free to go, but maybe Itachi should stay for a bit."

"No!" Itachi jumped up, despite the pang of pain his head gave him, and grabbed his and Kyuubi's coat that Iruka had dropped of earlier before taking Sasuke and Naruto home. "Kyuubi's fine, right?" he turned to look at the fox, only to have the coat yanked from his grasp.

"Uhuh, perfectly fine! I could give birth now!" Kyuubi replied quickly, struggling into his coat, Itachi immediately assisting him once the leopard received a glare from his mother. "Let's go!" the two made a dash for the door.

"Wait, you two!" Mitoko snapped, causing the two pets to freeze, inches from freedom. "Say thank you to Tsunade-sensei."

"Thank you!" The fox and leopard repeated quickly before running out the door, into SALVATION!

Mitoko sighed, smiling at Tsunade "Kits these days…"

"Yep, I know…"

* * *

May: Hahaha!!!!! I am done!

Naruto: -giggle- I was on top this time! Sasuke! Let's do it again!

Sasuke: not on your life, dobe.

Naruto: -wail- Sasuke hates me!!! –cry, cry-

Iruka and Mitoko: SASUKE!

Sasuke: ah…fuck. –grabs Naruto and sprints away-


	10. and

Previously:

"_There, there, all life must reproduce…" Kakashi muttered, glancing behind him at the closet, where moans and cries of pleasure were coming through clearly. Now people stopped for that._

"_Ah! Sasu-Ah!" Naruto cried, gripping Sasuke's shoulders tightly, sliding up and down on the brunette's shaft. _

"_N-Naru…" Sasuke groaned, thrusting as hard as he could into the blonde's tight heat._

"_Ah…ah! Oh…Sasuke!" Naruto screamed, tilting his head back, his release shooting onto their stomachs._

"_Shit! Naruto!" Sasuke moaned, filling the fox's tight chamber with his seed._

_Naruto slumped against Sasuke's chest, shivering in the after pleasure "…Sasuke, we have to clean up now… I can hear Iruka crying outside the door."_

_Sasuke grunted in agreement.

* * *

_

"_And he almost agreed to sleep with him! The horror!"_

"_His own cousin? Is that some kind of narcissism?"_

_Itachi twitched, as he watched his mother and mate discuss the more embarrassing parts of his childhood. He had a few bandages wrapped around his head and arms, along with some band-aids on his cheek, but that was it, besides the bruises that were already appearing on various places of his skin._

_He wisely didn't tell either of them to stop, his mother was even more dangerous when provoked._

_He looked up as Tsunade appeared at the doorway "Well, Kyuubi's free to go, but maybe Itachi should stay for a bit."_

"_No!" Itachi jumped up, despite the pang of pain his head gave him, and grabbed his and Kyuubi's coat that Iruka had dropped of earlier before taking Sasuke and Naruto home. "Kyuubi's fine, right?" he turned to look at the fox, only to have the coat yanked from his grasp._

"_Uhuh, perfectly fine! I could give birth now!" Kyuubi replied quickly, struggling into his coat, Itachi immediately assisting him once the leopard received a glare from his mother. "Let's go!" the two made a dash for the door._

"_Wait, you two!" Mitoko snapped, causing the two pets to freeze, inches from freedom. "Say thank you to Tsunade-sensei." _

"_Thank you!" The fox and leopard repeated quickly before running out the door, into SALVATION!_

_Mitoko sighed, smiling at Tsunade "Kits these days…"_

"_Yep, I know…"

* * *

_

May: Next chapter!

-Mitoko runs in, grabbing May by the shoulders-

Mitoko: Where's Sasuke?! I must punish!

May: -sweatdrop- he has come back yet…maybe it was the musical I suggested for this story…hm…he has a hot voice…

Mitoko: Of course! –smile- he and Itachi were in the Church choir!

May: O-O lol…lmao…rofl…roflmao!

* * *

"Naruto!"

"Kyuu-nii!"

Sasuke and Itachi sighed as the foxes embraced, lifting a brow at the sunset setting behind them despite the current time being around noon.

"Oh! Kyuu-nii! Surgery must've hurt! Come on, I'll make you some ramen and sushi, you like salmon, right? Or a salad…" Naruto blubbered on, tearing up at the sight of his older brother, unharmed or otherwise.

Sasuke slumped slightly 'He never cooks for me…' he thought enviously, watching as Kyuubi pat Naruto on the head.

"Sorry, Naru, I wanna take a nap right now…" Kyuubi pried himself free of Naruto's death grip, and grabbed Itachi, pulled the leopard inside, Naruto and Sasuke following quickly.

Once they were gone, out of the bushes a man jumped out. "Alright! Let's take the sunset background back to the warehouse!" Immediately a large crew people began dismantling the huge screen attached to the house and trees of the Uchiha Estate.

* * *

Kyuubi shut the door behind him, turning to Itachi inside the room. The leopard blinked as Kyuubi more or less tackled him onto the floor, clawing at his clothes.

"This isn't what most people would consider a nap…" he murmured against the fox's lips, receiving a growl in return.

"I want you. Now! And no one, even you, is stating otherwise!" Kyuubi snapped, biting on Itachi's lips in punishment.

"Who complaining?" Itachi smirked, licking his bleeding lips. His slender fingers already at the hem of Kyuubi's black jeans. "However…" he added, abruptly flipping them over, getting a snarl from Kyuubi.

"_Itachi!_" Kyuubi hissed, outraged, he knew Itachi was big on foreplay, so was he on most occasions, but he wanted the brunette, NOW DAMMIT!

"Shh…" Itachi replied, hooking his arms under Kyuubi's thighs, picking the redhead up and carrying him over to the bed, lying him down gently. He kissed the redhead's neck, inhaling that delicious, milky scent of a preggy. "You're pregnant remember? Not to mention that... incident a few days ago. As much as I want you, I don't want to risk losing you or the baby anymore." He chuckled at the look on Kyuubi's face that clearly stated 'What am I? Your damn princess?'

"Shit, Itachi, if you don't put yourself in me right now…I'll…" Kyuubi trailed off, he knew Itachi was right. They shouldn't do anything like this while his stomach was still healing from the attack. "Dammit…" Kyuubi whined, crossing his arms across his chest.

Itachi smiled lovingly at the sulking fox "I didn't say I wouldn't pleasure you." He added, his hand slipping under Kyuubi's jeans, purring when he realized that Kyuubi wasn't wearing underwear. 'Does he even own any?' Itachi mused, stroking the fox's erection, earning at cry.

"Itachi…" Kyuubi moaned, thrusting his hips up against the leopard's hand "Ahh…wha, what about you..?" he whimpered as those slender fingers wrapped around his member. "Ahhnn…"

Itachi just chuckled, pumping Kyuubi's shaft slowly and torturously, licking and biting at the fox's exposed neck.

Kyuubi bit his lip, his frame trembling in the pleasure. He cried out as Itachi's fingertips danced over his slit. "Ohhh…" he groaned, tilting his head back.

Itachi shifted slightly between the redhead's legs, fighting the urge to rip off those goddamn annoying jeans and fuck his mate raw. '_He's injured, injured, injured…_' he repeated firmly in his mind. A lesser cat would have been humping their bitch by now.

Kyuubi gripped the leopard firmly by the hair, dragging him up to his lips. "Itachi…" he moaned before pressing his lips against his mate's, their tails intertwining.

Itachi slid his tongue in between those full lips, mapping out the redhead's cavern, dancing with the fox's tongue passionately.

Kyuubi whined as Itachi pulled away, before trailing kisses up his jaw.

Itachi bit gently on Kyuubi's ear, running his tongue across the thin flap of skin, almost as if he was cleaning them. His free hand began pushing up the fox's shirt. He left the ear to trail down the fox's body and attack one of Kyuubi's nipples.

Kyuubi gasped as Itachi bit down on his sensitive skin "Ow! Itachi…" he whined, squirming as Itachi licked the bite in apology, before nibbling on Kyuubi's dark nubs. "Wha?! Ahhnn…." He trailed off, arching his back slightly. "Mmm…" he moaned as Itachi's lips trailed lower and lower until his tongue ran along the lining if his pants.

Itachi yanked the annoying jeans off Kyuubi, nipping and biting on his mate's sensitive inner thigh.

Kyuubi twitched, as Itachi's lips ran down his thigh, suggestively, his hand keeping the thigh still. "Itachi!" he cried, glaring down at the brunette "Suck me off already!" he snapped.

"My, my, the Uke ordering around the Seme, the thought alone makes me laugh." Itachi replied dryly, returning Kyuubi's glare. "I'll take as long as I want." He added bluntly, shoving Kyuubi back down when the fox tried to sit up.

"Bastard! I hate foreplay!"

"Lying little bitch." Itachi replied angrily, this is what he got for pleasuring his mate?!

At that moment Kakashi opened the door "Before another argument breaks out…dinner's ready!" he chirped, closing the door quickly as the bedside table was thrown his way.

Itachi glared heatedly at the door, glancing at Kyuubi who was still sprawled out on their bed, regarding him with curious eyes- as to say 'where's our alarm clock going sit now?'

He sighed "Do you wanna finish up?" he slid back onto the bed when Kyuubi sarcastically replied.

"No, I want to walk around with an erection this painful."

Itachi smirked "I'm taking my time." Kyuubi just growled.

* * *

Naruto happily slurped up his fourth bowl of ramen. Sasuke watched in distaste, with a slight fear of his mate choking.

"Isn't that enough?" Sasuke asked warily as Naruto eyed his own ramen.

"Mmm…No!" Naruto pounced on Sasuke's lap, turning to the nugget of noodle gold on the table in front of him. He eeped when Sasuke's hands circled his waist, dipping suggestively in-between his thighs. "Sasuke!" Naruto gasped as the leopard stroked his rapidly hardening erection "Ah!" he moaned, not even protesting when the Uchiha flipped him over, shoved the ramen bowl away, and placed him on the table.

"Naru…you're so cute…" Sasuke purred, grinding his hips against the blonde's, looking into those clouded eyes, watching those whiskered cheeks grow darker at his actions.

"Ah! Ah…Sasuke…" Naruto moaned, bucking back against Sasuke's hips earnestly, hands gripping the ebony locks tightly. He pulled Sasuke's lips towards his own, crashing them together in a sloppy kiss while Sasuke worked on getting those annoying pants off.

Both he and Itachi agreed that if it wasn't for the fact that other men would sneak glances at their ukes (getting their heads snapped off consequently) they'd burn all their ukes' clothing and buy them a new wardrobe off lingerie(most likely resulting in being beaten to a bloody pulp by their ukes but hell, it was worth it)!

He grunted when a hard object hit him on the head. "Ow…wha?" he turned to meet his mother's stern, yet, on-the-inside-laughing-her-ass-off gaze.

"Susu-chan…I understand how teenage hormones work, but, please…not on the kitchen table!" she chided, poking Sasuke affectionately in the temple.

Sasuke frowned, knowing better then to growl at his mother, picking up his embarrassed blonde he exited the kitchen.

Mitoko immediately began giggling quickly "I knew spiking their ramen with an aphrodisiac would work, poor Naru's gonna fly into a second heat in no time!" she ended this with a slightly evil cackle before going to clean up her children's dishes.

* * *

May: -grins manically- Ha! I'VE WON THE REVIEW CONTEST! WOOOO!!!!! PARTY!!!!! THANK YOU ALL MY LOVELY REVIEWERS! STILL UPDATE THOUGH! 200TH REVIEWER GETS THEIR OWN ONESHOT! ANY YAOI COUPLE IN NARUTO!

Sasuke: I think she'll update dead of night next…just a hunch cause she had an interesting idea the night before when she was eating pocky…


	11. Itachi

Previously: 

"_Ah! Ah…Sasuke…" Naruto moaned, bucking back against Sasuke's hips earnestly, hands gripping the ebony locks tightly. He pulled Sasuke's lips towards his own, crashing them together in a sloppy kiss while Sasuke worked on getting those annoying pants off._

_Both he and Itachi agreed that if it wasn't for the fact that other men would sneak glances at their ukes (getting their heads snapped off consequently) they'd burn all their ukes' clothing and buy them a new wardrobe off lingerie(most likely resulting in being beaten to a bloody pulp by their ukes but hell, it was worth it)!_

_He grunted when a hard object hit him on the head. "Ow…wha?" he turned to meet his mother's stern, yet, on-the-inside-laughing-her-ass-off gaze._

"_Susu-chan…I understand how teenage hormones work, but, please…not on the kitchen table!" she chided, poking Sasuke affectionately in the temple._

_Sasuke frowned, knowing better then to growl at his mother, picking up his embarrassed blonde he exited the kitchen._

_Mitoko immediately began giggling quickly "I knew spiking their ramen with an aphrodisiac would work, poor Naru's gonna fly into a second heat in no time!" she ended this with a slightly evil cackle before going to clean up her children's dishes._

_

* * *

_

May: I have begun typing this on the day of my final exams in English and Guitar( what do you do in Guitar?!) I'll be updating more quickly after this exam is thru...

* * *

Sasuke carried his blonde towards their room, suddenly feeling hot and aroused. He unconsciously crept his hands lower, nearer the blonde's ass. Naruto squirmed, panting slightly. 

"Sas…Sasuke…I…" Naruto bit his lip when Sasuke's hand began to massage his ass thoroughly. "Nnn..!" he twisted around in the brunette's arms. "Wa…wait…room..?" he briefly wondered why they needed to go to a room while the floor looked just as comfy, and carpeted.

"Hmm…" Sasuke groaned, deciding that the couch was a fine substitute for his bed and tossed Naruto on it. Naruto arms darted out and grabbed Sasuke ferociously and yanked the brunette down onto his lips.

All this occurring while Itachi was sitting on the other side of said couch, smirking.

"My, my…and I thought _my_ sex life with Kyuubi was exhilarating. Seems Mother dearest has cracked open one of her bottle of witch's brew." He lifted a brow when the rolling and groaning pile of limbs next to him didn't even seem to notice he was there. "…hello? Seriously…she didn't… right?" he sweatdropped, remembering the bowl of ramen Kyuubi had snatched away before Naruto could vacuum it up into his black hole of a stomach. He paled, running up the stairs. "Kyuubi?!...Kyuu-" he was cut off as a pair of arm shot out of the doors to their room, latching onto his wrist.

"Ita-koi♥" Kyuubi purred, eyes half-lidded as he stared intently at Itachi.

"Kyuubi, listen, your drugged right now, in case it could affect the kit we should go to the hospital." Itachi stated slowly and clearly, while Kyuubi pulled his struggling form in slowly. Was he this strong when he wasn't pregnant?!

"Nonsense!" a voice piped up behind the leopard. Itachi jumped, turning around to see his mother smiling at him brightly. "The kit won't be harmed in anyway from the two of you screwing! Kyuu's only in his second month, silly! Though we animals give birth quicker, you guys could continue to screw until he goes in labor!" she chuckled evilly, silently wishing her camera wasn't charging right now. "Now in you go!" she chirped, giving Itachi a good shove into his room and a purring Kyuubi's arms.

"M-mom…! Ky-whoa…_whoa_…" Was Itachi replied, looking at the outfit his mother had dressed the fox in.

Thus, Uchiha Mitoko has officially wormed her way into any yaoi fangirl's heart.

* * *

I'm skipping the lemons…cause I suck…and you guys need to exercise your imagination! XD you'll find out about the outfit soon!

* * *

Sasuke woke up, in bed, next to a curled up Naruto in his room "How did I get here?" he pondered, looking around slowly until his gaze rested on his mate. He smirked, leaning down and licking Naruto's cheek slowly and deliberately. He frowned when he realized how dirty (as in sticky ;P) he was. Not one to stay thus repulsing, he pecked Naruto on the cheek and proceeded to make his way towards the bathroom.

Naruto groaned twisting in his bed, hissing when pain arched up his back. "Ow!" he whined, looking around, trying to get his bearings. "Sasuke..?" he called out of his mate again, before sliding out of the bed and following his mate's scent to the bathroom. He blushed when he had seen his mate's naked form. Despite having huge amounts of sex with the brunette on a daily basis, he'd rarely seen Sasuke's ass -perfectly shaped, as though kissed by a perverted angel, who'd die the second Naruto laid eyes on him- considering the fact that more than half the time they did it doggy style and the other half in other positions that rarely offered the blonde any sort of idea of what the brunette's backside resembled other than what he could feel with his hands Naruto had to admit, Sasuke's ass was _fine_…

Sasuke, feeling the intense gaze of his mate, turned around and smirked "Like what you see?"

"I'm not complaining." Naruto replied, strutting over to the leopard, said leopard lifting a brow as Naruto's hands cupped his ass, fondling it. "I like your ass." The fox stated bluntly, purring when Sasuke's hands gripped his own cheeks.

"Thank you, I like yours too." Sasuke grinned, kissing Naruto on the nose "Up for a shower?"

"Depends, what's going on in said shower?"

"Oh…just a little screwing around…" Sasuke smirked when Naruto pushed him into the warm spray of water. "I'll take that as a yes…"

* * *

Kyuubi groaned, squirming in the nest of blankets on his bed. "Damn, that was some party…who won the bar fight?" he turned to see Itachi sitting cross-legged on the bed next to him.

"You should of seen it, our mothers double-teamed a giant group of biker bandits." Itachi replied, showered and fully clothed, leaning down to kiss Kyuubi on the head.

"Mmmhmm…thought so, Mom could take out a grown man when she was in elementary school, ya know…" Kyuubi replied, turning to catch Itachi's kiss with his lips.

"I'm sure…did the drugs affect you in anyway? What's today's date?" Itachi questioned, leaning back and critiquing Kyuubi seriously.

"Like hell I care about shit like that. All I know is you look goddamn sexy the that shit, whatcha dressed up for?" Kyuubi rubbed his eyes, examining the black dress shirt and slacks.

"My friends want to meet you, but if you don't feel fine we don't have to go…"

"I'm fine, fine…and Shuukaku, I've never realized how lucky I am to have you for a mate."

Itachi chuckled leaning down and nipping playfully at Kyuubi's lip in punishment. "Glad to hear it, now if you're sure Deidara-chan…Shuukaku junior, Yonbi, Goubi, Hachibi, Rokubi and all of your other eight kits want to come say hi to their mommy."

"Trying to give your pregnant mate a heart attack, that's double homicide, you son of a bitch." Kyuubi growled.

"Careful sweetie, that "bitch" in currently roaming the halls as we speak." Itachi replied pleasantly, slipping gracefully off the bed "Who knows, she may have bugged your maid outfit." He grinned in evil delight as Kyuubi's eyes widened, flying to his body where the remainder of the maid outfit waited, well what Itachi didn't waste time ripping off, which was basically just the white thigh-high stockings and the little bell choker Mitoko had added on as an after-thought.

"…no more sex." Kyuubi replied darkly.

"I know I should of taken a picture of you to jack off to." Itachi sighed, fake-pouting at Kyuubi "But I was to busy screwing your pretty little ass into the bed, sorry."

"…" Kyuubi attempted to lung at Itachi, only to get tangled up in those annoying bed sheets, and fall back down. "…You'll pay." He stated ominously.

"I wonder how…" Itachi pondered, smirking at the murderous look in Kyuubi's eyes. "Careful now, nothing too violent for the baby's sake…"

Kyuubi lunged again, this time successfully closing his fingers around Itachi's windpipe until the leopard pinned him back onto the bed, grinning.

* * *

May: FINALS ARE OVER! MEANING TWO DAYS OF NO SCHOOL! WHICH I MAY OR MAY NOT SPENDING WRITING FANFICTION! WEE!!!!! 


	12. that

Previously: 

"_I'm not complaining." Naruto replied, strutting over to the leopard, said leopard lifting a brow as Naruto's hands cupped his ass, fondling it. "I like your ass." The fox stated bluntly, purring when Sasuke's hands gripped his own cheeks._

"_Thank you, I like yours too." Sasuke grinned, kissing Naruto on the nose "Up for a shower?"_

"_Depends, what's going on in said shower?"_

"_Oh…just a little screwing around…" Sasuke smirked when Naruto pushed him into the warm spray of water. "I'll take that as a yes…"_

"_I know I should of taken a picture of you to jack off to." Itachi sighed, fake-pouting at Kyuubi "But I was to busy screwing your pretty little ass into the bed, sorry."_

"…" _Kyuubi attempted to lung at Itachi, only to get tangled up in those annoying bed sheets, and fall back down. "…You'll pay." He stated ominously._

"_I wonder how…" Itachi pondered, smirking at the murderous look in Kyuubi's eyes. "Careful know, nothing too violent for the baby's sake…"_

_Kyuubi lunged again, this time successfully closing his fingers around Itachi's windpipe until the leopard pinned him back onto the bed.

* * *

_

May: Sorry for not updating! But after my cold my boyfriend broke up with me! T.T Everyone! Join the mob on myspace I'm forming! XD My page link's on my profile! Buddy me! Anyway, I gave Itachi and Sasuke a common fear that I do not share…

* * *

"The couch!" Iruka moaned, burying his face into his hands.

"Ah, we'll get a new one." Mitoko replied, waving it away absent-mindedly "Itachi and Sasuke have been rather…energetic, since they met Naruto and Kyuubi, haven't they?" she turned to Iruka who scowled.

"Maybe if their food wasn't spiked, by a certain someone, they'd be less likely to mate against every surface in this house!" Iruka snapped back, massaging his temples to get rid of his migraine.

"No…even before I came along, when's they last time they went out…like on a date?" Mitoko turned to Iruka who stared back blankly.

"Err…"

"Oh, for heaven's sake! Are you telling me Itachi and Sasuke grabbed them by the hair and fucked them?! They didn't even _date_?!" she shrieked "Didn't they pay attention to _anything_ I taught them?! Oh, Momma Mitoko is _pissed_!" she growled, formulating their demise.

"Err…so what do we do?" Iruka questioned. Mitoko turned to him, grinning evilly, and I mean 'holy shit, she's the Devil's firstborn!'

"Well, you know that carnival that's in town?"

* * *

Sasuke sighed as Naruto rubbed against him affectionately, practically draping himself over his body, not that the Uchiha minded one bit. But the problem was that they were in a library, with their brother's curled up together on the other side of the room.

Sasuke shifted slightly, lying down and letting Naruto cover him, the blonde squirming slightly before settling on top of him comfortably. Sasuke smirked when Naruto whispered a rather lewd comment in his ear.

"Oi! Sasuke! Take my little bro and screw him! His pheromones are so thick, I'm having trouble breathing!" Kyuubi giggled, nuzzling Itachi's neck affectionately as Sasuke groaned and picked the blonde fox-still clinging to him in an erotic manner- up and made his way to the door.

Just then the door burst open, Mitoko standing in it's wake.

"My lovely kiddies! I have a proposal!" Mitoko cried, pumping a fist into the air.

"Proposal?" Kyuubi piped up, ears pricking up. He liked proposals.

"There's a carnival in town!" Mitoko chirped, putting her hands together. "And we're all going!"

"What!?" all four hybrids replied, two shouts of delight, two of disbelief.

"The carnival! Carnival!" Kyuubi and Naruto chanted merrily, joining hands and dancing around in happy circles. Sasuke and Itachi merely at their mother, mixtures of shock, anger, and down right terror at the idea.

"Carnival…" they muttered, Jesus, they _hated_ thrill rides.

* * *

May: Figured I owed ya something, XD, you'll never guess the name of the carnival! By the way, why don't you all take a look at my other works?

I'm working on getting up; If I Kissed You, Would You Hit Me?, a lovely work where Sasuke and Itachi constantly chase after an unwilling Naruto and Kyuubi, they must escape fangirls, avoid the Akatsuki Uke Anti-Rape Squad, defeat the other Semes out for their Ukes, and finally! Capture the loves of their lives! Really fluffy, popped up in my head cavity while watching Ouran Host Club, XD I think we know where this is going… Sasuke and Itachi are crazy with a Q!


	13. constantly

Previously:

_Just then the door burst open, Mitoko standing in it's wake._

"_My lovely kiddies! I have a proposal!" Mitoko cried, pumping a fist into the air._

"_Proposal?" Kyuubi piped up, ears pricking up. He liked proposals. _

"_There's a carnival in town!" Mitoko chirped, putting her hands together. "And we're all going!"_

"_What!?" all four hybrids replied, two shouts of delight, two of disbelief._

"_The carnival! Carnival!" Kyuubi and Naruto chanted merrily, joining hands and dancing around in happy circles. Sasuke and Itachi merely at their mother, mixtures of shock, anger, and down right terror at the idea._

"_Carnival…" they muttered, Jesus, they hated thrill rides.

* * *

_

May: OW! OW! OW! Owwww! My arms! I just got my 4 shots, 2 in each arm, including my tetanus. THE PAIN! Thank me for getting this up…-wail- to make me feel better, if anyone wants to draw me fan art, my Deviantart account name is May10baby, and if you can't reach me, go to KankuroLove133, that my friend and fellow crack artist, Noelle, just tell her your one of Alicia's rabid fanfiction stalkers and she'll welcome you! This chapter is dedicated to her!

* * *

"The carnival!" Naruto chirped, giggling happily as he and the gang drove towards wherever. He was dressed in an orange hoody with no sleeves and black knee-length shorts and blue sneakers "I can't wait! What about you Sasuke?" he nuzzled the leopard's neck affectionately.

Sasuke frowned slightly, dressed in a full dark blue hoody and emo jeans and black sneakers. He unconsciously stroked Naruto's hair while his mind was elsewhere…with Itachi's.

'_This is another torture attempt by our mother…_' the two leopard's thought sadly, their ears drooping as they eyed the woman merrily chatting with their owner and their mates' owner in the front seat.

Itachi, dressed in a black t-shirt and gray cargo pants with black sneakers, twitched when Kyuubi stroked his cheek. "Are you okay?" the red head questioned, dressed in a red tank top and white khakis with red sneakers, his long hair in a ponytail. He frowned when Itachi nodded. "If you say so…" he muttered, settling back in his seat, turning to stare out the window in boredom, unconsciously stroking the small budge on his abdomen.

"We're almost there!" Mitoko giggled happily, her smile growing when Naruto cheered. She was dressed in a black t-shirt and white shorts. "And look! There's a Ferris Wheel, too!"

Naruto scrambled up trying to see the carnival, he cried out in joy when he saw the Ferris Wheel. "Wow! Look! It's huge!" he turned to Sasuke would visibly paled.

'_Gods no…_'

"Sasuke! I wanna go on it!"

'_Shit!_'

"Itachi, you want to go too?" Kyuubi stared at Itachi in a way that silently stated 'I'm going so you're sure as hell going too…'

"Err…fine." Itachi replied, sulking slightly. Both he and Sasuke stared at the metal death contraption. How could their mates want to ride that thing?!

* * *

Naruto, Kyuubi and Iruka stared, slight blushes on their faces. Sasuke and Itachi looked downright disgusted. Mitoko was grinning evilly.

And Kakashi was in heaven.

"Welcome to Icha Icha Love Love Carnival Playground! Please enjoy your stay!" a feminine voice giggled seductively over the intercom system.

Then 4 things happened at once.

Kakashi ran in laughing happily, tears streaming down his masked face.

Iruka stood paralyzed at the entrance.

Itachi and Sasuke both grabbed their respectively mates and _ran_.

"Sasu-"

"NO!"

"Ita-"

"NO. We're not turning back."

Kyuubi sweatdropped "I was gonna tell you to step on it, 'cause your mom's gaining on us."

And…Mitoko was beating her sons bloody…

* * *

"Okay…" Mitoko smiled at her children "Everyone! We're meeting at the food court at 7:00 pm for dinner! That gives you all about 8 hours to wreak havoc!" she then grabbed Kakashi and Iruka and sprinted away.

"Ferris Wheel!" Naruto latched onto a still pain-dazed Sasuke and dragging the leopard towards the ride.

"Let's go!" Kyuubi chirped, linking hands with Itachi and trotting after his brother, the leopard crossing himself.

* * *

"Sasuke! Lemme go! I wanna look!" Naruto wailed, squirming in Sasuke's grip. What was the point of riding a Ferris Wheel when you didn't look around?! He struggled a little more in Sasuke's lap, the leopard sitting dead center of their seats, stiff as a board. "Sasuke!"

"No." Sasuke snapped, pulling Naruto closer still if that was possible.

"Why?! Kyuu-nii gets to look outside!" Naruto pointed to the other end of the car where Kyuubi was sitting and examining the park below them with interest.

"Itachi, cotton candy." Kyuubi stated, eyes glued to the small cart selling the cloud-like substance.

"Bad Kyuubi, no sweets for you, it's bad for the baby." the Uchiha replied, his arms circling Kyuubi's past protectively, carefully avoiding gaze with the ground.

"Pssh, yeah right it's "bad for the baby", I hate cotton candy, it's the kit that wants it." Kyuubi replied matter-of-factly "And Tsunade-sama said it's better to eat what the kit wants, even if it's in small quantities."

"Whee! I want cotton candy too!" Naruto squealed, managing to break free from Sasuke's iron grip and looked out the window to where Kyuubi was pointing. "Wow…everyone looks like ants! No, smaller than ants! Dust! Dust's what they look like!"

Both Itachi and Sasuke felt their stomachs reel. '_Oh Gods…_' they thought numbly, unconsciously gripping their stomach's with one hand, while the other clung to their mate determinedly.

"Don't they?" Kyuubi agreed. Itachi glanced up and their eyes met. The leopard saw the amusement on the fox's face.

'…_Bitch, he's enjoying this!_' Itachi straightened, not noticing how Sasuke looked on the verged on crying, as he mentally calmed himself down by planning how he was sooo… going to get back at Kyuubi for this.

* * *

"Sasuke! Sasuke! Try some!" Naruto chirped, nudging a poof of cotton candy at the leopard's lips.

Sasuke, still queasy from the Ferris Wheel along with a few of the other rides he had been dragged onto, shook his head. "You go-Ack!" he coughed when Naruto shoved the poof into his mouth, gagging as the wave of over-sugared taste hit him.

Naruto looked at the retching Sasuke in worry "Sasuke? Are you okay?" he whimpered, not noticing Itachi sniggering while Kyuubi examined the laughing leopard while he nibbled at his own cloud of sugary sweetness.

"No I'm not okay, you stupid fox!" Sasuke snapped back, he cursed at his burning throat.

Naruto blinked, tears welling up in his eyes. "H-huh?" he sniffled.

Then everything got _really_ quiet. Was someone hunting wabbits? Oh no, that was just Mitoko's killing intent aura from 30 yards away at her spying position, oh, and she broke her binoculars too...

Sasuke felt his life expectancy take a bruising punch as a feeling of dread spread over him.

Suddenly something warm and plush was pressed against Naruto's wet cheek. "Are you okay?" a gentle voice asked.

The blonde fox looked up to see a black haired boy, said hair being in a bowl cut, with round ears and dressed in a bright green hoody with somewhat darker green jeans and orange sneakers with a red belt slung around his hips. He was holding a panda plushie in his arms, a large bushy tail behind him.

Everyone stared at him. Finally Kyuubi managed "Are you a giant _squirrel_?"

The squirrel smiled brightly, handing a confused Naruto the panda plushie. "Yup! My name is Rock Lee! And I have come to help this poor damsel in emotional distress as such is an expression of YOUTH!" he cried, pumping a fist in the air as he struck a pose, not frankly caring as people stared at him.

Naruto blinked, slowly, before his tails began to wag. "Weren't you the one who was getting into our car as we got off the Ferris Wheel?" he questioned.

"Yes indeed, fair lady, as such! My mate noticed you and we had quite a chat!" Lee stated, wincing at his slight lie, more or less his mate had merely stated 'I know them.' But still, saying something wasn't something his mate did often.

"Lee…" said squirrel jumped, spinning around.

A red-haired raccoon, with the kanji of love tattooed on his forehead, no eyebrows and rings around his jade green eyes, stood, holding a bag of chestnuts, he was dressed in a black hoody and tight, black jeans, his ringed tail limp as he studied his mate blankly.

"Ah! Gaara! I'm sorry! The line looked so long! I needed to help this poor fox out! She was crying!" Lee hugged the raccoon, the secret ability of being able to read his mate making it's self known. He cried out in joy as Gaara handed him the chestnuts, and started to munch on them happily.

"Uchihas." Gaara greeted with a slight incline of his head.

"Sabaku no Gaara, long time no see." Itachi greeted, nodding his head in a small bow, Sasuke repeated the action. Kyuubi merely smiled, still not quite forgiving of this raccoon's older sibling's behavior, but Gaara didn't seem to mind. Instead he studied the panda plushie in Naruto's hands. He shook his head when Naruto offered it back.

"Keep it. I'll just win Lee another one…" he gestured vaguely to the stalls around them. "Come on, Lee. You wanted to go to the Haunted House next, right?" he smiled when Lee nodded attempting to swallow the nuts in his mouth.

"Let's go! Oh, oh! Can the lady and the other's come as well?"

"Lee, all four of them are _male_." Gaara stated as though he was talking to a 3-year-old.

"…eh?" Lee turned to study Naruto more closely. "Omigod! No way! I'm sorry!" he stuttered, bowing repeated to the blonde.

Naruto laughed awkwardly, scratching the back of his head. "I-it's okay…"

"No it's not! Oh gosh, you must come to the Haunted House, I'll pay for your ticket!" Sasuke twitched when Lee grabbed Naruto and began to drag him away to a tall, ominous-looking building.

"H-hey!" he ran after them, Gaara in hot pursuit.

Itachi glanced at Kyuubi "You wanna go in?" he lifted a brow when Kyuubi jumped, before turning to stare at him wide-eyed.

"Are you crazy?"

Itachi grinned "Are you scared?" he teased.

Kyuubi blinked, jumping up "Am not!" he whined, glaring at Itachi "Let's go!" he snapped, ignoring the warning flags jumping in his head as he began walking towards his doom.

Itachi stood up and followed, amusement glittered in his eyes "Yes, you are…" he muttered to Kyuubi's back. "This'll be good."

* * *

"Aha!" Mitoko turned to Kakashi and Iruka, the two still recovering from the "Evil Aura Attack". "This is perfect! All we have to do is follow them in, scar the crap out of 'em and then this date will be a success!" she giggled happily.

"R-really…" was all Iruka could say.

* * *

May: kukuku….Happy Valentine's Day! Yes, my friend loves GaaLee with a passion, Lee's the Uke in this obliviously! 


	14. tried

Previously:

"_No it's not! Oh gosh, you must come to the Haunted House, I'll pay for your ticket!" Sasuke twitched when Lee grabbed Naruto and began to drag him away to a tall, ominous-looking building._

"_H-hey!" he ran after them, Gaara in hot pursuit.

* * *

_

_Itachi glanced at Kyuubi "You wanna go in?" he lifted a row when Kyuubi jumped, before turning to stare at him wide-eyed._

"_Are you crazy?"_

_Itachi grinned "Are you scared?" he teased._

_Kyuubi blinked, jumping up "Am not!" he whined, glaring at Itachi "Let's go!" he snapped, ignoring the warning flags jumping in his head as he began walking towards his doom._

_Itachi stood up and followed, amusement glittered in his eyes "Yes, you are…" he muttered to Kyuubi's back. "This'll be good."

* * *

_

"_Aha!" Mitoko turned to Kakashi and Iruka, the two still recovering from the "Evil Aura Attack". "This is perfect! All we have to do is follow them in, scar the crap out of 'em and then this date will be a success!" she giggled happily._

"_R-really…" was all Iruka could say.

* * *

_

May: kukuku…I made a pretty sonnet in English, I think I'll start writing SasuNaru poems, whatcha think?

* * *

"OMIGOD!" Lee screamed as a "corpse" popped out of a chest on the ground near his feet. "Gaara!" he wailed, running to redhead in fear.

Naruto tilted his head to side, kneeling down and poking at the corpse in fascination, not noticing Sasuke pressed against the opposite wall, his face sheet white.

"Wow, someone did a number on him, it could've been an animal really." He squinted his eyes, examining the plastic. "I think those are teeth marks…woo! Cannibals! Let's go hunting!" he cried, jumping up and grabbing a mentally weeping Sasuke, before running out the door down dimly lit stairs into the basement.

Gaara stared after them, a whimpering Lee at his side. "I think Naruto and I could've been brothers in a past life." He muttered, following the blonde's trail.

* * *

Kyuubi slapped his hands over his ears, slumping down against a tombstone, scared for his life. "Oh Gods, I think I might have a miscarriage…" he whimpered, crying out as a thunderous boom was heard.

He was currently in the "backyard" neatly decorated as a cemetery. He squeaked when a hand rested on his shoulder. He slowly turned his head to see a person that reminded him vaguely of Gaara, except Gaara also didn't resemble a giant mannequin.

"Kyah!" he screeched, popping up and sprinting away in whatever direction the puppet man wasn't.

Sasori stared after Kyuubi's rapidly retreating form, sweatdropping, his red cat ears drooping slightly. "Uh…" he fingered the lanyard that held a glow in the dark card, labeled "STAFF", "I wasn't going to scare you…that time…" he sighed, blinking when he caught movement out of the corner of his eye. He gracefully slid behind the tombstone Kyuubi was recently panicking against, his eyes narrowing as his tail twitched behind him.

"I saw you Sasori, what are you doing here?" Itachi muttered, slipping out from the fog to stare down at the red head.

"Oh, just a part time job the gang decided to take together, speaking of which, where the hell have you been?" he questioned, cocking out a hip and resting a hand on it.

"Just in case Tobi forgot to tell you, I knocked someone up and I've been protecting them and shit…I was gonna introduce you guys actually…" Itachi muttered, scratching his hair in a bored manner.

"Uhuh, and where is this mate?" Sasori asked, glancing around in a bored manner.

"I'm getting to that, have you seen a red-haired fox, probably frightened?" Itachi gestured vaguely with his hands.

Sasori blinked "Huh? 'Scared and Confused with a Cute Ass' is your bitch?" he gawked at Itachi, who's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"That ass is my property, vandalize it and I'll chop off your dick and ram into so far up your ass you'll be chewing on it."

"Yeah, yeah." Sasori sweatdropped, pointing towards the center of the cemetery. "Your bitch has got a _wonderful_ sense of direction, went straight over to Deidara in the tomb…" he pointed at the giant building looming over the cemetery in an evil manner.

Itachi sweatdropped "Figures…" he muttered, following Sasori towards the tomb.

* * *

"Sasuke?" Naruto poked at the unresponsive pet, currently backed against the wall of the basement, curled up so his face wasn't showing, his tail curled up between his legs. "Sasuke?" he mewled, tilting his head to side, sitting next to his mate, worry filling his face.

"…" Sasuke peeked out to see Naruto's worried face, a blush creeping up his face. He straightened slightly, hugging Naruto tightly, he muttered "Let'sgetoutofhere…" he stuttered out quickly, the words jumbling as the blush came full force across his face.

Naruto stared at Sasuke for a minute before smiling "Okay!" he chirped to a startled Sasuke "Besides, Lee just passed out…" he pointed over to a furious Gaara standing over an unconscious Lee as he strangled a skeleton, growling out curse words.

Sasuke sweatdropped "Ah, okay." He muttered, slightly relieved Naruto wasn't the teasing type.

* * *

A man with silver colored hair and a glassy look in his eye stumbled over onto the main control panel of the Haunted House. He blinked dumbly at the blinking lights.

"Wooo…it's damn 'ew Yerrr!!!" he slurred, dumping the bottle of brew onto the panel. He blinked dumbly as electric sparks shot up, the panel hissing sharply. "Oi, ya fuckin bitch! Don fuckin talk to meh like tha!" he growled, slamming the bottle onto the machine, earning even louder whines and snarls.

"Hidan!?" a mummy ran in staring at the machine in shock, before turning to glare murderously at the silver-haired man.

"Kuzu! You fuckin look like bloody King Tit!" Hidan laughed, before leaning over and puking out his lunch onto the ground.

"You idiot! Who knows what's happening in the House!" Kakuzu moaned, jumping when the emergency lockdown occurred, the doors slamming shut. "Ah, shit."

* * *

Sasuke and Naruto stumbled back from the recently slammed doors of the dining hall.

"The hell?" Sasuke cursed, spinning around, watching the doors they entered from slam shut too.

"Gaara?! What's going on?!" Lee squeaked, his head whirling around.

"It's probably some sort of malfunction…" Gaara replied calmly.

Naruto furrowed his brow in thought "How long do you think it'll take to get us out?"

Sasuke grabbed the nearest object, being a bowl of fruit, and chucked it at the door. Cursing when it didn't budge.

"Well, _that_ was expected, a bowl of fruit would've _totally_ kill the mean door monster…" Gaara stated sarcastically.

"Shut. Up."

* * *

Kyuubi screamed as Vampire Deidara climbed out of the coffin.

"I'll shall eat you!" Deidara growled, lunging at Kyuubi who jumped, back, knocking his head against the wall. Deidara blinked as Kyuubi fell forward, knocked out cold. "Oh shit…" he turned towards the open door, staring as Sasori and Itachi ran in.

Itachi took one look at Kyuubi before smacking Deidara upside the head. "If he forgets who he is or that he's my bitch, you'll gender confusion problem will be fixed..." He stated ominously, picking up a limp Kyuubi and carrying him towards the door.

Just then the doors slammed shut, shrouding the room in darkness.

"The heck?" Itachi's voice rang out.

Sasori squinted his eyes, trying to get used to the darkness "Deidara? Is this supposed to happen?"

"No…" Deidara replied, unsure. "Maybe some technical difficulties?"

"Or they shut down for the night…"

"Itachi!"

"What?"

* * *

"No!" Iruka wailed, pounding on the door. He vaguely heard Mitoko's faint reply.

"Iruka-san! I'm getting help don't worry!" Mitoko shouted through the door, before walking off to find a staff member.

Kakashi watched as Iruka hyperventilated, before glancing around the small closet a shower of sparks had forced them into.

"Oh no, no, no…" Iruka moaned, walking around in brisk circles, holding his head in his hands. He jumped when Kakashi's arms circled his waist. "K-Kakashi!" he squeaked.

"Relax, stop breathing so hard, Iruka…" the older man ordered, tugging the brunette onto the floor. "We don't know how long we'll be here so with have to save our energy…" he stated matter-of-factly, petting Iruka on the hair in a calming manner.

"What about Naruto, or Kyuubi? Not to mention Itachi and Sasuke, and-"

"Shush." Kakashi pressed a finger against Iruka's lips, the brunette's face heating up.

"A-ah…"

"They'll be fine, now, to pass the time. Did you meet anyone special in the States?"

* * *

May: lol, I'm so evil, poor Kyuubi and Sasuke…lol. Iruka too... 


	15. to

May: I'm back! And I'm thinking of getting another story up as well!

Kukuku…btw, not to many details with Kyuu, Ita, Saso, and Dei. They _are_ locked up ya know, like, in the _dark_?

* * *

Kyuubi's eyes fluttering open…or at least he thought they did. "Uhh…hello?" he looked around and saw…dark. But it felt like someone was holding him…that scent… 

"Kyuubi…" Itachi!

"Itachi!" Kyuubi wailed, pounding on his mate's chest "Do you know how scary the Haunted House was?! There was a vampire and he…wait." Kyuubi didn't recall meeting Itachi, he also didn't recall leaving the Haunted House. "The evil vampire kidnapped us! Oh god! We're in his coffin!" he screamed, flailing his arms.

Itachi winced "Kyuubi…does it feel like we were shoved into a confined place like a coffin?" he asked the red head in his arms.

"Uh no…omigod! We're in his secret underground lair!" Kyuubi screeched "His bats are gonna eat us alive!"

"Uh, no thank you, un." a voice called out, sending Kyuubi into a frenzy.

"Kyah! It's bac-" the rest of his wails were cut off by a hand clamped over his mouth. "Mm!"

"Kyuubi. Quiet." The red head stilled at the pissy tone in his mate's voice. "There are no such things as vampires, the idiot that jumped out at you is a friend of mine in _costume_, meaning he's just poor or enjoys scaring stupid people that actually pay to get scared…" Itachi removed his hand from his mate's mouth.

"…Then where are we?" Kyuubi finally asked.

"Aha, well, un…we're stuck in the tomb due to technical malfunction, yeah…" Deidara muttered.

"What?! We're stuck? What if my water breaks!?" Kyuubi panicked, clinging to Itachi.

"Kyuubi, you still have a few months to go…" Itachi sweatdropped.

"So?! We could be suck in here for a few months!" Kyuubi wailed, his mood-o-meter on the fritz.

"We'd all die of hunger before that." Deidara replied cheerfully, earning a louder wail from Kyuubi.

Suddenly the temperature dropped, was the thermostat broken again? Oh no, it just Itachi's death glare, only you couldn't _see _it, you had to _feel _it in your marked soul!

"We're not going to die…" Itachi cooed, stroking Kyuubi's hair.

'Heh, funny.' Sasori and Deidara thought, 'Itachi cooing is so weird.'

"But the vampire said so!"

"Okay…" Sasori stated "I think it's time to get acquainted."

"Who's that?!"

"Kyuubi, my ear!"

"Ah, sorry Itachi…" was the sheepish reply.

"Sasori, another friend of Itachi's. The idiot that jumped out at you was my mate, Deidara."

"Mate?" Kyuubi's voice piped up.

"Yes, I screw him." Came the smug reply.

"Sasori!"

"What? It's not like they care…Itachi's already knocked his bitch up."

"Who are you calling a bitch?!"

"The Puppet Man is calling you, Kyuubi-kun, a bitch."

"Puppet..?..?! Itachi! How do you know these freaks!?"

"Hey! Sasori and I aren't freaks! We're _artists_! Yeah!"

"Amen!"

"Oh here we go…" Itachi muttered, dropping his head onto Kyuubi's shoulder.

"And? What does that have to do with anything?"

"You poor, poor, misguided fool…"

"Excuse me?"

"Itachi, the second we're out of here, he's stopping by my studio, un."

"What, so he can see a bunch of pictures? Heh, come to my studio, I have tons of sculptures, from wood to mental, they last forever."

"Sasori! Who cares about their stability?! My photos capture the truly beautiful moments of the short lives of my models! Yeah!"

"Deidara, shut it. My sculptures'll last through the generations, for many to see, a hell of a lot longer than some scraps of paper."

"Oh yeah?! Tell that to Da Vinci and Picasso! Huh!"

"Gotta agree with Deidara on that one."

"See! Even Itachi's bitch agrees with me! Yeah!"

"Quit calling me his bitch!"

"Well you are."

"No I'm not! I'm Itachi's mate! Not some slut!"

"We didn't call you a slut, un. We called you his bitch, got it?"

"Quiet! Or, Pinocchio and Dracula, I'll smack you so hard your grandparents will feel it!"

"I hate my grandmother, go ahead." Sasori snapped back.

"On top of that, you can't even see us." Deidara pointed out.

"Well…" Kyuubi replied "After we get out of here." He finished lamely.

"Che, please, the moment you see my art you'll unde-"

"Please, he'll understand _true_ art when he sees my wo-"

"QUIET!" Itachi roared, everyone else snapping their mouths. "For Christ's sake, can I have a few moments to think?!" he replied wearily. "Deidara, Sasori, argue and have your make-up sex later, _outside_. Kyuubi, you're my bitch. Period."

"But!"

"No 'buts'."

"Itachi! Ow!" Kyuubi cried out, feeling Itachi clamp down onto his neck "Asshole! Don't bite me!"

"Ohhh…Lover's quarrel! Un!"

Itachi pulled away from a whimpering Kyuubi's neck "You two have no right to say that."

Kyuubi twitched when he felted Itachi's tongue lapping up his blood. He squirmed, whining, before burying his face into Itachi's shoulder. "I hope Naruto isn't going through this…" he tensed "Oh God! Naruto! Where is he?!"

"How the hell should I know?"

"Itachi! Call Sasuke or something!"

"No service." Sasori's voice drawled out.

"Oh, no, no, no…Naruto…" Kyuubi whimpered hoping his little brother was alright.

* * *

"Sasuke! You're going to hurt yourself if you keep that up!" Naruto scolded, glaring at Gaara and Sasuke, both who didn't do well in confined spaces. He winced when they charged the door again, slamming against it, before staggering back, hissing at their stinging shoulders. 

Sasuke glared at the door menacingly, getting ready to charge again, before Naruto smacked him in the back of his head rather hard. "Ow! What?!"

"Listen to me, teme! You're already going to land some bruises, and your attempts, clearly, aren't working! Now stop damaging my property!" Naruto snarled, yanking Sasuke back over to the large dining room table.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed "_Your_ property?" he growled out.

Naruto stopped at turned around to glare at Sasuke. This was the thanks he got for trying to stop his mate from hurting themselves? A fucking BF? "Yes, _my_ property. Your ass is just as much of my property as my ass is yours, you only mate with me, and I'm more than willing to go a few weeks celibate just to punish you."

"Oh? And what if I go to someone else for my pleasure?"

In a flash Naruto was tackling Sasuke to the ground "You cheating son of a bitch!" Naruto snarled, clawing at the leopard, who growled, before returning Naruto's attacks.

Gaara and Lee watched this scene unfold, sweatdropping. Finally, Gaara turned to Lee. "…My money's on Naruto."

* * *

Mitoko sighed, watching as the weak-ass maintenance man, pried at the closet Kakashi and Iruka had been thrown into. "Oh move aside!" she snapped, ushering the startled man away as she gripped the crowbar, and with the great whining of the metal as it buckled under her strength, she ripped the door off. 

"Oh, Kakashi!" a voice moaned rather loudly from inside the closet.

Mitoko blinked, staring at the sight before her, and the actions resulting in a series of moans from the closet. She coughed, averting her eyes. There was a squeak, a smacking sound, and a blushing Iruka stumbled out of the closet, yanking his shirt back on, a grumbling Kakashi following, rubbing his cheek.

"Ah…let's go find the children…" Mitoko managed, turning around and glaring the gaping maintenance man away, swinging the crowbar around merrily.

* * *

May: Wonder who she comes across first? XDDD Review contest was won by: SassyOMG2282 as my 200th reviewer, she shall get her SasuNaru one-shot soon! Soon being the key word here…XD next Kiriban winner shall be reviewer 356th!

Also check out my new story, Trembling Blossoms! And review that sucka too!


	16. smex

May: -sighs- I'm so bored…my life is gently slowing down…no I'm not dying! I need something to do! Argh! All I can do is plan for my birthday party in May! It's a slumber and my mother is not cooperating…Grr…

Previously:

_Mitoko sighed, watching as the weak-ass maintenance man, pried at the closet Kakashi and Iruka had been thrown into. "Oh move aside!" she snapped, ushering the startled man away as she gripped the crowbar, and with the great whining of the metal as it buckled under her strength, she ripped the door off._

"_Oh, Kakashi!" a voice moaned rather loudly from inside the closet._

_Mitoko blinked, staring at the sight before her, and the actions resulting in a series of moans from the closet. She coughed, averting her eyes. There was a squeak, a smacking sound, and a blushing Iruka stumbled out of the closet, yanking his shirt back on, a grumbling Kakashi following, rubbing his cheek._

"_Ah…let's go find the children…" Mitoko managed, turning around and glaring the gaping maintenance man away, swinging the crowbar around merrily.

* * *

_

Naruto and Sasuke hissed, kicked, and clawed fiercely at each other, their only intent to injure their mate.

Gaara examined the screeching ball of blonde and black fur, his non-existent eyebrows raising when a hissing Naruto, who was on the bottom, kicked a snarling Sasuke hard in the stomach, before reversing their positions.

"You jerk! Who cheats on the one they love?!" Naruto wailed, scratching Sasuke's face.

"Oh yeah?! Who says I love you?!" Sasuke snapped back in anger, managing to shove a stunned Naruto off of him.

Gaara's eyes hardened '_Shit…the drama unfolds…_' he thought warily as Naruto fumbled backwards, before righting himself and staring at Sasuke in shock.

Sasuke blinked, realizing what he just said "Naru…" he blinked in surprise as Naruto scampered away, underneath one of the cabinets that held the dishes. "Naruto! Get out from there!" he ran over and looking under the cabinet, could barely make out Naruto's small form, shaking with sniffles and sobs. "Naruto…come on, I'm sorry." Sasuke whispered, reaching under to stroke Naruto's hair gently. "Come on out, sweetie, you'll catch something from all that dirt."

"Wh-what do you care? You don't like me…" Naruto voice quivered "You only want me because I can pleasure you! Even that isn't enough…you cheating meanie…Iruka!" Naruto began to wail "Naruto wants mommy! Iruka! Call Naruto's mommy! Mommy!" he screeched childishly, he didn't feel his mate's soothing strokes, he only felt the pang in his chest. "Mommy!" he mewled pitifully.

Sasuke tried to tug Naruto out from the dirt and dust and Lord knows what else. "Naruto! Come on, let's go find Iruka! I need you to come out though! Naruto!" he shakily gripped at his mate's form as Naruto used his nails to cling to the floor. "Naruto! Please don't be mad at me! I'm sorry!"

Gaara watched the scene, slightly worried for Naruto's health. His attention turned instead to the door where a series of loud bangs were heard. He jumped when the door slammed open, a brunette-haired she-leopard and two humans in it's wake.

"Sasuke! Naruto!" Mitoko snapped out, her eyes scanning the room and focusing on her son's form, currently clawing at the underside of a dish cabinet. "Sasuke? What in the world? Where's Naruto?"

Sasuke turned his panicked eyes to his mother "Mom! Naruto and I got into a fight and I yelled at him and he ran underneath here! He's crying! What do I do?!"

Mitoko would've smacked Sasuke and his stupidity, but the look on his face concerned her as she walked over and knelt next to the cabinet and peered underneath "Naru, come out, little one."

"No! Naruto wants his mommy!"

"Mommy's here sweetheart."

"No! Naruto wants Naruto's mommy! Not Sasuke's mommy! Naruto doesn't like Sasuke! Naruto hates him!"

Sasuke dropped back to his knees and frantically gripped the hem of Naruto's shirt and tugged "Naruto! I'm sorry! I'll buy you ramen! Please come out!"

"No!"

Mitoko sighed, straightening, she looked towards Iruka "He wants his birth mother." She stated, and almost immediately Iruka whipped out a cell phone and dialed like lightening.

Iruka bounced on the balls of his feet as the phone rang. "Kushina…Minato, damn it! Pick up!"

"_Hello?_" the sleepy reply came "_It's 2AM here_."

"Minato! Put Kushina on the line!" Iruka snapped into the receiver.

"_Iruka? What's wrong? Did something happen to Kyuubi or Naruto?_" the voice, obliviously male, sharpened "_Iruka_?"

"Naruto and his mate fought, and Naruto's shoved himself under a dish cabinet! He wants Kushina now!"

"_What!? Mate!? Iruka, we're in the States! Remember? You visited us? How am I supposed to bring Kushina over right now? Is Naruto hurt? What about Kyuubi? And mates?! What's going on_?"

"Kyuubi's fine! He's just pregnant!"

"_Pregnant?! How the-_" Iruka blinked when someone snapped "_Gimme that_."

"_Iruka?_"

"Oh thank God, Kushina! Naruto wants you!"

"_Yeah, I heard, give Naruto the phone_."

Iruka handed the phone to Mitoko, who slid it underneath the cabinet, before Naruto snatched it up before speaking hurriedly into the phone in a language only a mother could understand.

Mitoko blinked when the phone was shoved back out, she took it and spoke "Hello?"

"_Hi, can you get Kyuubi and tell him that Naruto needs comforting_?"

"Ah…" Mitoko glanced around "Where's Kyuubi?" she asked Sasuke, who shook his head before resuming to try and talk his mate out from under the cabinet. She sighed "He isn't here."

"_Well tells him to come over because Naruto's throwing a fit_." Came the reply "_He'll know what to do. I'll getting up and my mate and I'll come over as soon as we can. Ja ne!_"

"Err…" Mitoko sweatdropped as the line went dead.

"What did she say?!" Iruka blurted out.

"She says Kyuubi knows what to do…" Mitoko stood up "Sasuke stay here." The request wasn't needed as Sasuke still continued to coax, the better word being beg, Naruto out of the cabinet, despite the fact the blonde had started kicking and clawing at him. "Let's go find him!"

* * *

"I spy, with my little eye-"

"Kyuubi, there's nothing to see."

"Yes there is, Itachi!"

"Yeah, dark. Un."

"Shut up!...I feel, with my pretty hands-"

"Kyuubi, that's my hair."

"Itachi! Quiet! I was asking Sasori and Deidara!"

"We would've gotten it eventually."

"Sasori, have you never played a _game_ before?"

"Does Exorcist count?"

"…Exorcist?"

"Yeah, you gang up on weird freaks and 'Exorcise' their souls! It's fun!"

"Um…Itachi? I wanna go home…"

"Don't worry, Sasori hasn't exorcised someone in _years._"

"What does that mean?! I could exorcise your bitch right under you nose!"

"Itachi! I don't wanna be exorcised!"

"Relax, Kyuubi. Sasori, shut up!"

"Kukuku…run little foxy…run for your life!"

"Itachi! Kyah!" Kyuubi squealed when someone poked his side.

"Shit! Sasori! Knock it off, someone's going to get hurt!"

"Kyah!"

"Sasori! Stop being mean to Kyuubi! Yeah!"

BANG!

"W-what the?!"

"Deidara! Did you shove more of that stupid clay into my kiln?!"

"You wouldn't be able to hear it! Yeah!" (that techinically wasn't a no...)

BANG!

"I-Itachi!"

"The hell?!"

SMASH!

Everyone winced as light flooded the tomb, they steadily looked up towards the entrance, currently cracked open.

"M-Mom?!"

"Itachi! I need to borrow Kyuubi!" Mitoko cried, snatching a temporarily blind Kyuubi and spiriting him away.

Sasori, Deidara and Itachi stared after her.

"What the fuck?" they asked in unison.

* * *

"Naruto!" Sasuke whimpered, his arms and face marred with scratch marks. "Come out!" he tried, reaching out under the cabinet, only to receive a hiss and a few more scratches on his arms.

Everyone jumped when Mitoko ran in, dragging Kyuubi along like a rag doll.

"Got him!"

"Mitoko! Stop that! He's pregnant!"

Mitoko blinked "Oh, I'm sorry sweetie! Does it hurt?"

Kyuubi winced, rubbing his shoulder "Just my arm."

"Oh, good. Naruto needs comforting!" Mitoko ushered Kyuubi towards the dish cabinet and a thoroughly scratched up Sasuke "Sasuke! What happened?" she asked the trembling leopard.

Kyuubi just shook his head and knelt down and glanced under the cabinet. "Naruto?"

"Kyuu-nii! Mommy's coming! Naruto's staying here until Mommy comes!"

"But then you may get injured! Don't be so stubborn! Let's go home and wait for Mom, okay?" Kyuubi reasoned.

"Nooo! Naruto wants Mommy now!"

"Naru-"

"Nooo!"

Kyuubi sighed, straightening and rolling his shoulders.

Time for Plan B!

* * *

May: Yeah, this came up real quick in my head. Now I just gotta figure out what 'plan B' is…-sweatdrop- Review my bunnies!

Oh yeah, something funny I thought up while considering Sasuke's abuse by Naruto;

Going up against –insert random term here- is like going up against the 'R' in SasuNaru, not only do you have the other 7 letters to deal with, but you have the legion of fans to deal with as well!

By the way, just curious. How many of my readers are guys or have boyfriends? Lol, no need to answer, just wondering.


	17. up

May: I'm back! Check out my new story, Spirit Wing, please! And the Kiriban reward for my 200th reviewer in this story should be up soon!

Beware, OOC Sasuke and Naruto, kukuku…

* * *

_Mitoko blinked "Oh, I'm sorry sweetie! Does it hurt?"_

_Kyuubi winced, rubbing his shoulder "Just my arm."_

"_Oh, good. Naruto needs comforting!" Mitoko ushered Kyuubi towards the dish cabinet and a thoroughly scratched up Sasuke "Sasuke! What happened?" she asked the trembling leopard._

_Kyuubi just shook his head and knelt down and glanced under the cabinet. "Naruto?"_

"_Kyuu-nii! Mommy's coming! Naruto's staying here until Mommy comes!"_

"_But then you may get injured! Don't be so stubborn! Let's go home and wait for Mom, okay?" Kyuubi reasoned._

"_Nooo! Naruto wants Mommy now!"_

"_Naru-"_

"_Nooo!"_

_Kyuubi sighed, straightening and rolling his shoulders._

_Time for Plan B!

* * *

_

Kyuubi sighing, sitting down on the slightly dusty floor and reaching into his pocket to pull out a pair of fluffy earmuffs. He glanced around at the others in the room.

"…Plug your ears…" he suggested, the others hastily covering their ears, both human and animal, he nodded before sliding the earmuffs on and glancing back underneath the cabinet and grabbing one of Naruto's fluffy tails, yanked, _hard_.

With a ear-splitting shriek of pain, a very dusty Naruto was dragged out from under the cabinet. Everyone winced as a series of long, and loud, wails poured endlessly from the blonde fox as he clawed and kicked at Kyuubi (who, apparently, was used to it), trying to get away, or back under the cabinet. Kyuubi said nothing, holding on tightly to the struggling and screaming fox.

Finally (after quite some time), Naruto's wails died into hoarse sobs as his tiredly slapped at Kyuubi. Only then did the red head remove his earmuffs. The others around him cautiously removing their hands from their ears as well.

"Feeling better?" Kyuubi asked, stroking Naruto's head gently, seemingly not affected by the whole ordeal. He received an angry glare from his little brother.

"Sasuke!" Naruto cried of hoarsely.

Eager to please, Sasuke scampered forward "Naruto? Are you alright? I'll-"

"I wanna go home!" Naruto whined, past anger for Sasuke obliviously replaced with undying fury with Kyuubi for yanking on his tail. He let Sasuke picked up bridal style, snuggling into the warm shoulder. He turned his head to look at Kyuubi and stuck out his tongue. Kyuubi lifted a brow, amused.

"Don't do anything stupid." He stated, brows furrowing when Naruto snorted.

"I'm not preggers, Kyuu-nii." Naruto replied smirking at the redhead, cackling when Kyuubi got pissed.

"You little…" Kyuubi growled out. What a cheap shot! He jumped when a pair of arms encircled his waist.

"And what's so bad about that?" Itachi (who apparently snuck in during the screaming) replied, rubbing the small bulge on Kyuubi's stomach gently. He kissed Kyuubi on the cheek. "Calm down." He muttered into Kyuubi's ear. "He just got over a fight, and we know how that feels."

Kyuubi huffed, sulking as worried Sasuke quickly carried a dust-covered Naruto away as the blonde got into a serious sneezing fit. "He could've said thanks…" Kyuubi muttered, letting Itachi gently push him towards the exit.

"Sorry, dear. But he's _nothing_ like you." Itachi replied sarcastically, as they approached the van, Naruto and Sasuke currently tucked into a small corner of the backseat, Sasuke fretting over the grumbling blonde. Kyuubi glared at Itachi darkly.

"Well…" Mitoko piped up from behind the couple, getting their attention. "At least Kyuu-chan'll be good at disciplining the kittens!"

Itachi and Kyuubi sweatdropped, glancing behind them.

* * *

After a long and tense car ride home(In which Itachi and Sasuke had to sit between their mates), Naruto had ran upstairs to take a shower and rid of all that dust, Sasuke trailing after him quickly like a dog. 

"Sasuke's gonna be doing some major ass-kissing for the next few days…" Itachi muttered as he walked with Kyuubi to their room. "And you need to apologize for the whole tail yank thing."

"It's not my fault!" Kyuubi whined, stripping off his clothes as soon as he entered the bedroom, dropping various articles of clothing onto the floor.

Itachi sighed, following the treasure trail to his mate, who'd tucked himself up under the blanket. "Are you upset?" he asked, slowly stripping off his clothing as he watched his mate for any reaction.

Kyuubi stiffened before relaxing again. "…A bit…" the fox admitted, moving of so Itachi could slip in next to him. Itachi sighed, wrapping his arms around Kyuubi and biting his ear affectionately.

"Blame Sasuke, it's his fault that Naruto's in such a bad mood." Itachi stated matter-of-factly. Kyuubi broke into a small smile.

"Should he be kissing my ass too?" the redhead pondered aloud, giggling when Itachi glared at the thought.

"…I'd be more than happy to take on my role as big bro and do that." Itachi replied, twisting their bodies so that he was on top of a laughing Kyuubi.

"Oh really?" Kyuubi laughed, wrapping his arms around Itachi's neck when the brunette kissed him sloppily "I'll be sure to remind him!" he giggled at Itachi's wandering hands.

* * *

Now we leave the peaceful/sexy room of mates Uchiha Itachi and Uzumaki Kyuubi to visit a more hostile environment, the room of mates Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto. Beware, wild animals beyond this door.

* * *

"Ow!" Sasuke whimpered as Naruto kicked him in the gut, falling back onto the floor. He didn't want to hurt his mate. 

"You cheating _jerk_!" Naruto shrieked "What makes you think I'll sleep with you tonight?!" Sasuke looked up at him tearfully.

"But we _always_ sleep together." The brunette replied tearfully "Besides! I'm not cheating on you!" he spoke up, suddenly feeling defensive…and scared.

"Oh, I'm sorry, take to explain you words back at the Haunted House then!?" Naruto snapped back. He knew he shouldn't be acting this mean…but _Sasuke_, his _mate_, had said that he himself was a cheater. The thought broke Naruto's heart. Wasn't he good enough for the other male? Or did Sasuke want some female slut because they did better with babies in their belly?

Sasuke bit his lip "I was angry…I'm sorry." He stated softly as he rose and tried to hug the blonde fox, but Naruto shied away. "Naruto…"

"Sasuke…you cheater…wahh…" Naruto whimpered, sitting down on the bed, burying his face in his hands. "I hate you because I love you so much…" he sobbed.

Sasuke sat down next to the blonde. "I'm sorry, I was lying, you're the only one for me…I promise." He hugged the crying fox to his chest, only to get shoved back.

"J-just leave me alone until Mommy gets here…" Naruto whimpered.

Sasuke stood up slowly, a hurt expression "Um…okay." He muttered, walking out of the room.

Naruto slid underneath the cold covers and grabbed Sasuke's pillow, pulling it against his chest and rubbing his face against it, sniffling.

* * *

May: ah, the angst! Don't worry Naru! Mommy's coming next chapter! Lol, review! 

Also, I'm offering up my genius by being a beta, and am also looking for a beta. The beta's main job would be hassling me to get my lazy ass in gear and also getting the final read over of my work before posting and suggesting other things.

I'll take only one betaing job right now, so if you want me, review!

BE AWARE! that by accpting the position as beta, you'll be betaing, all my stories! ...or i could have different beta's for each one...:P


	18. their

May: Sorry for not updating in a while, I've been getting my Algebra2 grade up! And now I'm failing Government. -.-;;;

Previously:

"_Oh, I'm sorry, take to explain you words back at the Haunted House then!?" Naruto snapped back. He knew he shouldn't be acting this mean…but Sasuke, his mate, had said that he himself was a cheater. The thought broke Naruto's heart. Wasn't he good enough for the other male? Or did Sasuke want some female slut because they did better with babies in their belly?_

_Sasuke bit his lip "I was angry…I'm sorry." He stated softly as he rose and tried to hug the blonde fox, but Naruto shied away. "Naruto…"_

"_Sasuke…you cheater…wahh…" Naruto whimpered, sitting down on the bed, burying his face in his hands. "I hate you because I love you so much…" he sobbed._

_Sasuke sat down next to the blonde. "I'm sorry, I was lying, you're the only one for me…I promise." He hugged the crying fox to his chest, only to get shoved back._

"_J-just leave me alone until Mommy gets here…" Naruto whimpered._

_Sasuke stood up slowly, a hurt expression "Um…okay." He muttered, walking out of the room._

_Naruto slid underneath the cold covers and grabbed Sasuke's pillow, pulling it against his chest and rubbing his face against it, sniffling.

* * *

_

"So, Sasuke…how was your night curled up outside your room door?" Kyuubi asked casually, glancing a the worried neko, currently ignoring his breakfast and muttering to himself.

"Naruto still hasn't left our room, and it's already 10am…" Sasuke murmured, his ears drooping slightly as he imagined his mate, curled up and crying on their bed.

Kyuubi and Itachi sweatdropped, glancing at each other. Before Kyuubi shrugged it off and took a sip of OJ. Thank God he didn't get morning sickness.

"Sasuke…as your older brother, I believe it's necessary to tell you what I'd do in this situation…go up there, break down the door and hump your mate until he likes you again. It works with Kyuubi." Said redhead choked on his OJ, coughing violently.

"B-Bastard!" Kyuubi sputtered, his face the same color as his hair. "Don't go around saying shit like that!" he glared at a smirking Itachi before throwing a fist his way. Itachi effortlessly caught the fist and placed a small kiss on Kyuubi's hand, causing the redhead to squeak in embarrassment.

"See?..? Sasuke?" Itachi glanced over at the empty seat in front of him. "…He seriously didn't go…right?"

"Oh my…I'll order the tombstone…" Kyuubi muttered.

"Don't forget to put 'Idiot' on there."

"That's all I was going to put on there…"

Sasuke walked into the main hallway of the manor, towards the long stairway, intent on following his brother's "wonderful" advice.

He blinked in surprise when a loud banging rang on their door. He turned curiously towards the door and reached for the latch…

…Before it fell on him…the same wooden door that lasted through both the Uchiha brothers' childhood, which included fire, drought and fangirls. And to add to that…it has lasted through their _mother's_ childhood as well, that included full on _war_, baby.

Needless to say, our favorite chicken-ass hair wearing freak fell to the almighty door that it, itself, had fallen to the short-tempered, impatient, Uzumaki Kushina.

"NARUTO! KYUUBI!" Kushina shrieked, the ceiling timbers shaking slightly, years of dust drifting down. "MOMMA'S HERE!" Kushina's red hair poured over her shoulders, black dress shirt, and part of the top of her cream-colored jeans, and ended a little bit below her waist. Her long side bangs hung loose with the exception of a black hair clip pinning back one. Two red fox ears poked out of her hair and nine fox tails waved behind her viciously.

"Mommy!" Kyuubi wailed, running up and hugging his mother, currently standing on top of the defeated door, Sasuke being all the more squished.

"Oh, Kyuubi! Your stomach? Where's your mate?!" Kushina felt the slightly growing bulge on Kyuubi's stomach, cooing in delight.

Itachi coughed discreetly, immediately regretting it when a blonde, growling, bundle of fur tackled him. He fell to the ground, a blonde fox man with only one tail, that reminded him suspiciously of Naruto, dressed in a black t-shirt underneath a blue blazer and jeans.

"You impregnated my child…With out my _permission_?!" Minato roared, strangling a bluing Itachi. Kyuubi eeped, running over.

"D-Daddy! Knock it off! Don't kill him! Please! I love him!" Kyuubi wailed, tugging on his father's arm, knowing full well that when his dad was pissed, few stood in his way.

Kushina jumped off the slightly elevated door, glancing back at it suspiciously before walking over and smacking Minato upside the head. "Cut that out! Do you want Kyuubi to have to care for a child alone?"

Well, one of those few being Kushina.

Minato sulked, standing up and backing off a gasping Itachi, Kyuubi kneeling down and fretting over the his mate. This made Minato sulk more. Since when did Kyuubi 'fret'? What happened to the small, tomboyish kit that had wrestled with him when they were younger?

"Hm…Where's Naruto? And his mate?" Kushina asked, glancing around, looking for tell-tale signs of her youngest baby.

"Well, Sasuke is..?" Kyuubi glanced around "Ahh…don't know, but Naruto's upstairs…" Kushina hmm'ed, walking towards the big staircase, following Naruto's slightly old scent intently.

Itachi stood up slowly, eyeing a glaring Minato warily. He sweatdropped when a whimper spilled out from underneath the door "Ah, shit…" he cursed, running over and, with some difficultly, pulling the door off his brother. "Sasuke?! Can you breath?!" Itachi pushed the door away, kneeling next to Sasuke, who looked very much like the day he tripped while running away from his fangirls.

"D-door Mon-monster…" Sasuke whimpered, trembling slightly. Itachi sweatdropped.

"Mom! Call a doctor!" the leopard shouted out, scooping up a mentally traumatized Sasuke and placing him on the brand new couch in the living room.

"N-Naruto…" Sasuke croaked, imagining his little mate crying over his body as the blonde ceremoniously burned all doors in the house.

Minato watched this with interest. He glanced over when Kyuubi tugged on his sleeve.

"I'm going to get Kakashi and Iruka, don't kill them, ok?" the fox pouted cutely, staring at his father with a look of adoration on his face, his ears perking up.

Minato wilted 'How can I resist that face?' he sighed, petting Kyuubi on the head.

'Checkmate.' Inner Kyuubi 'rofl'ed in his head.

"We'll see…" Minato replied, glancing over to where Itachi was shoving a Naruto plushie into his brother's arms. He sweatdropped "...Where'd he get that?" 'I want one!'

Kyuubi sighed, running off to find his master.

Minato walked towards the brothers. Itachi glanced over, worry and –gasp- fear filling his eyes. While Sasuke was hugging the Naruto plushie to his chest, muttering to himself while rocking back and forth.

Minato shrugged, stopping in front of the two and reaching into his pant's pocket and pulling out a bagged ring of rubber. Both Itachi and Sasuke stared at it blankly. "Okay you two…it's time to learn about 'Proper Protection'." He smiled brightly at the terrified brunettes.

May: rofl, yeah. Itachi and Sasuke receive sex ed! I swear, first thing I thought of Minato Kyuubi's pregnancy Itachi receiving sex ed lessons. I added Sasuke in as a second thought, he needs to know how to not impregnate Naruto! We don't an new island of Uchimakis (lol, spell check said Uchihacest)! As for Kyuubi not having morning sickness, my mom told me that I was a very good baby and that I didn't cause her much trouble until the actual child birth…then…she slapped me on the head.

As for my beta…hmm…so far only one person offered….XDD. So…we'll see! Cause I really don't know whether or not I'll have one of my school friends do it or not… :3


	19. Ukes,

May: Okayies, CK, you're officially betaing this story and summoning, got it?

Sorry for the late update, my computer's being temperamental, No seriously, it was all hot for the past two days, i had to turn the whole thing off.

In this chapter! Naru and his Mommy have a Mother-to-Uke chat!

* * *

"Naru? Sweetheart?"

Naruto's ears perked up at the sound of Kushina's voice.

"MOMMY!!" he wailed, hugging the woman tightly as she stroked his unruly hair.

"Hush, precious. Why are you so upset?" Kushina asked, sitting on the bed and letting Naruto crawl onto her lap.

"S-Sasuke, he said he didn't love me!" Naruto sobbed, burying his face into Kushina's shirt. Kushina frowned, planning the brunette's future torture.

"…I'm sure he didn't mean it…" Naruto glared up at her.

"He said he was cheating on me!"

…We'll add castration to Kushina's list.

Kushina sighed, bottling up her fury to serve to a marked Uchiha later, as she stroked Naruto's hair. "I doubt that…why would he even say that?"

"W-we were stuck at the Haunted House and Sasuke was trying to ram the door open and he kept hurting himself and I told him to stop and we started fighting and, and…" Naruto broke off add began to cry shrilly. Kushina sighed, petting the blonde fox.

"Naruto" she sighed in a motherly tone. "Do you know why Sasuke kept hurting himself?" Naruto stared at her dumbly.

"Cause he kept hitting the door?" the blonde replied innocently. Kushina sweatdropped, clearing her throat.

"Well, yes, but why did he keep hitting the door?" she asked the fox.

"…To get it open?" 

Okay, we'll try one more time, folks.

"Why?"

"…Cause it wasn't open?" Naruto jumped when Kushina smacked the side of her head in annoyance.

"He wanted to get you out of danger!" she replied, as if telling the blonde to read manga right to left, not left to right.

"…Nyah?" Kushina sighed in defeat.

"Naruto, did being trapped in that house scare you?"

"Yeah…"

"Doesn't Sasuke try his best to protect and help you when you're upset or scared?"

"Uhuh…"

"So wouldn't he try to get you out of the house since it scared you a lot?" Kushina reasoned, Naruto staring at her blankly, before…

"Oh no! Sasuke! I'm sorry!" he wailed, jumping when he scented his mate.

"Naru?" Sasuke stared at the blonde, stumbling into the room like a flood victim. He was easily tackled to the floor when the blonde hugged him.

"Sasuke! Sasuke! I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have been mad! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!" Naruto pleaded, spilling little kisses on the brunette's face and neck.

Sasuke sat numbly, letting Naruto smother him with affection as he tried to recover from the traumatic experience that could only be considered education.

Kushina sighed, shaking her head, as she stood up to give the pair some alone time.

* * *

"Dad? Where's Itachi?" Kyuubi glanced around for his mate, a bad feeling stirring in the pit of his stomach.

"Oh, he and Sasuke went upstairs a while ago…" Minato replied, looking very smug. Kyuubi studied him for a second before leaving Minato, Kakashi and Iruka to chat idly.

He walked up the stairs and entered his room, sweatdropping when he saw Itachi curled into a ball on their bed. He ran over and stroked back Itachi's hair, studying the brunette's fear-filled eyes.

"Are you okay?" he asked warily.

"Y-your father…" Itachi whimpered, clinging to the worried red head. "…So many…scientific terms…." He pulled a blushing Kyuubi to his chest.

"…Sex Ed?" Kyuubi tried.

"Don't say it! He'll come back!" a scarred Itachi buried his face into Kyuubi's chest, the fox awkwardly petting him on the head.

* * *

Kushina slammed her hand down onto the table.

"_Who_ did _what_ to my child?!" she snarled, Minato looking just as dangerous next to her.

"…We don't know who yet, but someone slashed Kyuubi, killing two of his kits, there's only one left now." Iruka replied weakly.

The cup in Minato's hands cracked, but he took no notice of the scalding tea dripping down his hands.

"Where the hell was Itachi?!" he asked darkly, intent on cause the leopard even more hell.

"Kyuubi got pissed at him, Itachi went after him, but it was windy, Itachi was searching but didn't find him until it was too late." Kakashi replied in the leopard's defense, not interested in finding his star pet hanging from the chandelier by his intestines the next morning.

Kushina sat down wearily "I see…" she replied softly, before another thought struck her. "…Do you think the attacker will attack again?!" she asked in alarm, Minato stiffening next to her.

"It's possible…" Iruka admitted "But, both Itachi and Sasuke have been guarding the two of them securely, and the police are still searching. We were a little worried when Sasuke and Naruto got in a fight but-"

"Naruto's a target as well?!" Kushina cut him of, standing back up quickly.

"We're not sure about that either." Kakashi answered, lifting a brow when Minato stood up as well.

"You need to investigate more." Minato stated, glancing at Kushina who nodded "Until this place is deemed safer for my kits, Kyuubi and Naruto will be coming back to America with us."

* * *

May: Oh nose! Minato-san! You can't! Itachi's in therapy and Sasuke and Naruto just got over their fight! Review children! And receive Update Cookies!


	20. innocent

May: Chapter is up! Now with the help of my beta, CK! Everyone clap for CK!!

* * *

_Kushina slammed her hands down onto the table._

"_Who did what to my child?!" she snarled, Minato looking just as dangerous next to her._

"…_We don't know who yet, but someone slashed Kyuubi, killing two of his kits, there's only one left now." Iruka replied weakly._

_The cup in Minato's hands cracked, but he took no notice of the scalding tea dripping down his hands._

"_Where the hell was Itachi?!" he asked darkly, intent on cause the leopard even more hell._

"_Kyuubi got pissed at him, Itachi went after him, but it was windy, Itachi was searching but didn't find him until it was too late." Kakashi replied in the leopard's defense, not interested in finding his star pet hanging from the chandelier by his intestines the next morning._

_Kushina sat down wearily "I see…" she replied softly, before another thought struck her. "…Do you think the attacker will attack again?!" she asked in alarm, Minato stiffening next to her._

"_It's possible…" Iruka admitted "But, both Itachi and Sasuke have been guarding the two of them securely, and the police are still searching. We were a little worried when Sasuke and Naruto got in a fight but-"_

"_Naruto's a target as well?!" Kushina cut him of, standing back up quickly._

"_We're not sure about that either." Kakashi answered, lifting a brow when Minato stood up as well._

"_You need to investigate more." Minato stated, glancing at Kushina who nodded "Until this place is deemed safer for my kits, Kyuubi and Naruto will be coming back to America with us."_

* * *

"Dad!? Dad!" Kyuubi, dressed in black jeans and a red t-shirt, tugged against his father's grip while Minato dragged him firmly away from the Uchiha Estate. Away from Itachi.

"M-Mommy! Stop it! Sasuke!" Naruto wailed, dressed in a blue hoodie and brown shorts, as his mother picked him and carried him towards the limo waiting for them.

... Oh yes, Minato and Kushina's owner was very rich...

Sasuke, currently out on the lawn in a desperate attempt to bring back Naruto, lunged forward only to be stopped by Iruka's firm grip on his shoulders.

Itachi snarled fiercely, kicking and punching both Kakashi and Asuma as Kurenai, another friend of Kakashi's, tried to sedate him.

"Bastards!" he screamed, thrashing around wildly, crazed eyes fixed on Kyuubi "Bring him back! Kyuubi!" he cried out when he felt the sharp prick of Kurenai's needle pierce the skin of his neck. He blinked his eyes, trying to clear his blurry vision, finding that his legs wouldn't support his weight anymore as he was lowered gently to the ground. He eyes weakly lifted to the red blur getting smaller and smaller.

"…Kyuu…" he murmured as he fell unconscious.

"Itachi!" Kyuubi almost managed to break free of Minato's grip as he jerked backwards towards his unconscious mate. "Dad! Stop it! How would you feel if they took mom away?! Please!" Kyuubi dug his heels into the ground, bracing his hands against the sides of the limo as Minato tried to push him inside the vehicle. His ears were flat against his head.

"It's too dangerous here. Both of you know it," Minato grunted, gritting his teeth as he successfully managed to push Kyuubi into the back seat, quickly following himself after glancing back at Kushina.

Sasuke took the moment when Itachi fell to break free of a startled Iruka's grip and sprint towards his mate.

"Naruto!" Sasuke growled, his fingers brushing against the blonde's outstretched ones before Kakashi managed to tackle him to the ground. "Naru…!" he gasped when he felt a tell-tale pain in his neck. "Naruto…Naru…" He clawed weakly at the ground, trying to get up as Naruto's crying form blurred his vision before everything turned black.

"Sasuke! Sasuke!" Naruto screamed, thrashing in his mother's arms before he was pushed into the backseat along with Kyuubi and his father.

Iruka watched sadly as the limo sped away, glancing at Kakashi and Asuma, both carrying an unconscious leopard inside, Kurenai following quickly.

His gaze dropped to the ground before he turned and followed the procession inside.

* * *

Kyuubi sat in a first class seat, chin resting on his hand as he gazed emotionlessly at the sea of clouds outside the small window. Naruto sat next to him, knees drawn to his chest as he cried.

Kushina walked over to her kits and smiled sadly at them.

"It's for the best you know…I'm sure Sasuke-kun and Itachi-kun, wouldn't want either of you hurt by that attacker."

"…I hate you…"

Kyuubi glanced in surprise at Naruto's quivering form as the blonde glared at a stunned Kushina. "I hate you…" the blonde repeated firmly "I want to talk to Sasuke -- not you or Daddy!" Naruto wailed, burying his head back into his knees.

Kushina reached out to stroke Naruto's hair but Kyuubi's next statement stopped her.

"I'm sure neither of us wants to even remember that you're the one that gave birth to us…" Kyuubi stated quietly, gaze fixed back outside the window.

A hurt expression crossed over Kushina's face before she sighed softly and walked back over to sit next to Minato.

Kyuubi rested his head against the cool glass of the window, his eyes fluttering closed.

_'Itachi…'_

He slowly fell asleep to Naruto's soft sobs.

* * *

"Itachi… Sasuke…calm down." Kakashi ordered firmly as the two brunettes proceeded to trash the house in a blind rage.

"Give. Him. Back ! " Itachi snarled, knuckles bloody as he punched the glass door of their dish cabinet. He turned, red eyes blazing as he met Kakashi's annoyed ones.

"Kyuubi. Now!" He shouted, swiping a pricey lamp off of a small stand next to the cabinet with his bloody hands.

Sasuke tore up the couch cushions, feathers spilling everywhere as he growled and cursed. "Give me back my mate! Now!" he yelled, chucking a demolished cushion at a vase. The priceless object wobbling dangerously before it fell, shattering on the ground.

Seeing this, Kakashi groaned. House repairs were going to be through the roof this month.

He blinked in surprise when Iruka snatched both the brothers up and, in a show of brute strength, tossed them onto the couch. Sasuke fell roughly into the space where the cushion that he'd just shredded had only moments ago had been.

"It's your fault." Both Uchiha's glared darkly at Iruka before blinking in surprise when they saw the tears in his eyes. "It's all everyone's fault they're gone!" the brunette cried, burying his face in his hands, sobbing pathetically in his loneliness.

Kakashi walked over, helping the crying man up, before glancing at Sasuke and Itachi, who stared numbly back.

"…The address of Naruto and Kyuubi's U.S. home is on the fridge," was all he said, before helping Iruka over to his room.

Itachi and Sasuke stared after them blankly before glancing at each other for a moment and nodding.

* * *

"Welcome back, brats!" Jiraiya greeted, ridiculously long white hair and all, holding his arms wide open. He was expecting a big hug from Naruto at least, but both kits ignored him as they walked past him towards their rooms with their heads hanging.

"They're still really upset…" Minato muttered awkwardly as he stepped into the mansion owned by the world famous author.

Jiraiya sighed "I would expect so. You'd take out the Pentagon if they arrested Kushina and locked her away." He added bluntly. He turned to glance at the brothers walking up the flight of stairs.

"Did Kyuubi put on a little weight?" he asked, noticing the slightly large bulge.

"He's pregnant!" Kushina replied, feeling a little happier as she remembered the news.

"Pregnant?! Well, err, good for him. Who's the dad? His mate, right?"

"Who else?" Minato answered wearily, walking over to the sitting room and flopping down onto the plush couch. "God, I hope they get that case solved soon…Kyuubi and Naruto can really bitch and whine when they want to…" he muttered, closing his eyes.

Jiraiya snorted. "Where do you think they got it from? Kushina? She was a good girl, according to her owner, but, after the two of you met ; 'Jiraiya! Where's Kushina?! When do we see her again? Why not sooner?' And then later, right before the two of you would meet, you'd be in a panic, wondering what to get her and such… Ah, looking at you now makes me feel really old…" he added solemnly, staring at the foxes who sweatdropped.

"Ah, now I'm a grandpa of angsting teens. What's a man to do? Though I'm glad you got them out of danger, but, why not bring the mates? I'd love to meet them, and then Naruto and Kyuubi wouldn't be listening to 'Bullet For My Valentine' or something like that and writing depressing poetry about 'lovers torn apart' upstairs in their rooms."

"Naruto wouldn't do that…" Kushina huffed. "…Kyuubi, maybe."

"Then he's bawling his eyes out. Soon Kyuubi'll give into his mood swings and startbreaking stuff in a bloody rage or starting screaming and throwing a fit about how everyone is a bitch. He seems like a Screamer to me, and Naruto's definitely the type to cry pathetically about it. I'm guessing Kyuubi's mate can defend himself well? Not to mention tune things out." Jiraiya snickered at this "And Naruto's mate is more than willing to settle for cuddling the child when he's down in the dumps?"

"We didn't really meet them much…" Minato admitted. Jiraiya glared at him disapprovingly.

"Then how would know if their good mates for your children? Other than the fact you had to drag them, kicking and screaming, away from them? Did they have to be sedated?" he added, smirking slightly.

"Yeah, they did. But still, it's too dangerous for Naruto and Kyuubi in Japan. We'll wait for things to cool down over there, and then maybe we'll let the mates come visit…"

Minato yawned suddenly.

"I'm tired from the flight, Kushina, let's go take a nap." Minato stood, tucking his arm around Kushina's waist as he walked up the stairs, towards their room.

Jiraiya leaned back in his chair, grinning. "If these mates are good enough to charm Kyuubi and Naruto, I wouldn't be surprised if they were devising a plan to get past our guards this second… Not to mention, if it's Kyuubi, they'd have to give a damn good lay…"

* * *

May: Lol, so true, Itachi and Sasuke would probably break out the yaoi fangirls for this war…lol. Here's basically CK's (beta) review

CK : Trust me, if there's an army that's sole purpose is to "assemble-all-yaoi-fangirls-to-rescue-Naruto-and-Kyuubi-from-the-evil-parents-and-return-them-to-their-loving-mates", I'm definetly in it. LOL.

And -- OH MA GODS! (00)

You broke them up!? NOOO!

_– CK grabs a sedated Sasuke and clutches him like a teddy bear, while she sobs into sedated-Itachi's shirt --_

Poor Naruto! (;;) He's too young and too innocent for this kind of torture! And poor Kyuubi! He's pregnant and alone! And Kakashi and Iruka -- how could you sedate them!? Shame on you both!

….wait, what am I talking about? _– pats Kakashi and Iruka on the head—_

MINATO AND KUSHINA! Get your foxy-butts back here and make your sons happy! >C You horrible, mean, over-loving-and-over-protective parents you!!

YAOI FANGIRL ARMY, ATTACK!

_-- CK grabs a stick and starts chasing them both while Naruto and Kyuubi watch half-heartedly, still crying over being separated from their mates--_

Oh, by the way, LOVED THE CHAPTER! The angst hurts, but you're writing style and the way you make everyone so loveable makes it a good kind of hurting. At least, I think it is…

… if that made any sense at all. LOL.

Anywho, I'll tyyl !!

May: I agree, a war between Mitoko and Kushina would be very entertaining, their husbands would be cowering together in some random corner...XD

lol, anyone else wanna be drafted into the army?!


	21. little

May: Okayies, I'm updating this because two guys won't stop whining about it...yeah, it worked. I'm so weak to the threats of my fans!

And my birthday is coming up! I want tons of reviews and Private messages on my birthday, dattebayo! Birthday fics would be nice too. Lolz. I just wanna be loved! TT-TT

OH-MA-GODZ! 00 ! _–throws out confetti, streamers, and random cakes up in the air—_

**HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY, MAY!!**

(XD) _–glomps—_

So when is your birthday? Huh? HUH? Is it soon? Really soon? Kinda soon? Plus, of course you're loved! 3 Mucho loved! LOL.

I can definitely help with the 'I want tons of reviews and P.M.'s on my birthday', and I can probably help with the 'birthday fics' too.

– _hint hint; wink wink; nudge nudge; say-no-more, say-no-more —_

So….if I were to find someone (or multiple someones)to write you a birthday fic (or multiple birthdays fics), what kind of fic…hypothetically… would you like ??

Lolz, the whole package of course! –is greedy- also….Ck. MAY10baby…now, I want you to think a teensy bit, okay?

* * *

Previously:

"_Ah…now I'm a grandpa of angsting teens…what's a man to do? Though I'm glad you got them out of danger, but, why not bring the mates? I'd love to meet them, and Naruto and Kyuubi wouldn't be listening to 'Bullet For My Valentine' or something like that and writing depressing poetry about 'lovers torn apart' upstairs in their rooms."_

"_Naruto wouldn't do that…" Kushina huffed. "…Kyuubi…maybe."_

"_Then he's bawling his eyes out…Soon Kyuubi'll give into his mood swings and starting breaking stuff in a bloody rage or starting screaming and throwing a fit about how everyone is a bitch. He seems like a Screamer to me, and Naruto's definitely to type cry pathetically about it. I'm guessing Kyuubi's mate can defend himself well? Not to mention tune things out." Jiraiya snickered at this "And Naruto's mate is more than willing to settle for cuddling the child when he's down in the dumps?"_

"…_We didn't really meet them much…" Minato admitted. Jiraiya glared at him disapprovingly._

"_Then how would know if their good mates for your children? Other than the fact you had to drag them, kicking and screaming, away from them? Didn't they have to be sedated?" he added, smirking slightly._

"_Yeah, they did. But still, it's too dangerous for Naruto and Kyuubi in Japan, we'll wait for things to cool down over there, and then maybe we'll let the mates come visit…I'm tired from the flight, Kushina, let's go take a nap." Minato stood, tucking his arm around Kushina's waist as he walked up the stairs, towards his room._

_Jiraiya leaned back in his chair, grinning. "If these mates are good enough to charm Kyuubi and Naruto, I wouldn't be surprised if they were devising a plan to get past our guards this second…Not to mention if it's Kyuubi, they'd have to give a damn good lay…"_

* * *

"It isn't fair!" Kyuubi wailed, burying his face into his pillow.

So starts Day Three without his mate.

"Why?! Why did we have to leave Itachi?! Why couldn't Itachi come with us?! Why can't Itachi be fucking me right now?!" Kyuubi screamed, throwing a temper tantrum. "Why, why, why?!"

He suddenly stiffened, gasping slightly before petting his stomach nervously, jumping when he felt the feeling of his kit moving inside his belly.

"…It moved…?" He rubbed his belly gently, squeaking when the kit nudged against his hands. "Um…um, Mother!" he cried out in a moment of weakness.

A series of footsteps were heard, and Kushina barreled into the room, eyes resting on a close to crying Kyuubi.

"What?! What, Kyuubi-chan!?" Kushina scurried over to her son and studied him closely.

"It moved."

Kushina looked at Kyuubi's blank face in concern "What moved?"

"The kit…moved…is it okay?" Kyuubi flinched when he felt his baby move again. He lifted a brow when Kushina's face split into a wide grin.

"Kyah!" Kushina hugged her son in joy "The baby's fine! Omigod, I can't believe it's moving so early, it's so energetic!" she squealed. Kyuubi sweatdropped.

"Am I supposed to give birth, right now?!" Kyuubi cried, fearing for his safety. "Itachi isn't even here!" he whimpered, tearing up at the thought of pregnancy without his mate.

Kushina giggled, stroking Kyuubi's hair gently. "Don't worry, sweetie! Though you probably only have one or two months left…" she sighed dreamily "I can't wait to hold my first grandbaby!"

Kyuubi sweatdropped "A month or two..?...Okay, can you leave now? I wanna to go the bathroom…" he stated, standing up.

"If you need anything, just ask!" Kushina cooed, floating out the door, completely and utterly high off bliss.

Kyuubi sweatdropped, walking into the bathroom. He studied his stomach in the mirror, stroking the kit as it settled down again.

"It's really small…" he whispered, rubbing his belly. "The other females gave birth to larger numbers so their stomach grew huge, but still…mine's still pretty small…" he bit his lip, remembering the incident. "…Oh no, what happens if it's too small, or has some sort of defect?!" he cried, eyes brimming with tears. "Wah….Ita…Itachi…where…are you?!" Kyuubi cried, scared. "W…where..?" he needed his mates comfort, right now.

"There, there." A voice purred, Kyuubi jumped when two familiar pale arms circled his waist.

Itachi rested his chin on his shocked mate's shoulder, a smug smirk on his face.

"I…Itachi..?" Kyuubi stared blankly at the Itachi. "…What the fuck?! Am I going mental?!" he turned to face the Uchiha and began to poke his mate in the chest, murmuring to himself "Hm…it seems solid enough, and it smells like him…" Itachi sweatdropped.

"Does seem that impossible for me, your amazing mate, to cross an ocean to see you?" he asked, pulling Kyuubi into his arms.

Kyuubi smiled softly burying his face into Itachi's neck before asking "Did you swim?" Itachi chuckled.

"Of course, I took a stick to beat the sharks away with, Sasuke was smarter and brought a few grenades…" he added as an after thought. He lifted a brow when Kyuubi looked up at him.

"…Did you seriously..?"

"…No." Kyuubi sulked.

"Sweetie, your sarcasm sucks." He dryly stated, tugging Itachi back into his room, before sitting the leopard onto his bed and climbing onto his lap. "I missed you…" he purred, wrapping his arms around Itachi's neck, his tails wagging gently behind him.

Itachi chuckled, "I high-jacked a plane for you." He lifted a brow when Kyuubi stared at him.

"Itachi! That's a federal crime! And racist for the people of this country!" Kyuubi scolded, glancing out the window for the Feds.

"I was joking...it was just a cargo ship."

"Ita-"

"That belonged to a friend of mine!" Itachi cut in for his defense, sweatdropping when Kyuubi's eyes narrowed.

"**Who**?" Kyuubi asked, gritting his teeth. Itachi weighed the pros and cons of the situation.

"Ah, just a friend."

"_**Who**_?" Kyuubi's glared darkened.

Itachi sweatdropped "Can't we leave it at that?"

"_**Who**_?" Kyuubi was starting to resemble the Grudge.

"Um…well…Remember my one night stand…Kisame?" Itachi flinched when Kyuubi's eye twitched, "…Of course you do…"

* * *

Sasuke slipped effortlessly into his mate's bedroom window, glancing around for his pretty fox. He lifted a brow at the sniffling bundle under the orange blanket of a matching bedspread.

'…_Duh._' He thought, walking over and climbing gently onto the mate's bed, pulling the blankets in time to catch a glimpse at the pillow that smacked his face.

"Go away, whoever! I'm mad at you!" Naruto growled out cutely, baring his sharp canines at the heap on his floor.

"Ow…some love tap…" Sasuke muttered, managing to get into a sitting position on Naruto's floor. He gave his mate an injured look "How about a kiss next time..?" he asked, grunting when Naruto glomped him.

"Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke!" Naruto wailed, wrapping his arms around his mate's neck, legs repeating the gesture with the leopard's hips. "Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke!" he chanted, tears of happiness running down his face.

Sasuke sighed, and starting to busily kiss his crying mate all over, whispering lovely little words into his ear.

* * *

"Uhuh, Uhuh…" Kakashi nodded "Good work, now screw Kyuubi into the bed like you always do." He snapped the phone shut before Itachi could get out a curse. He walked over to a thoroughly bedded Iruka and climbed back in, hugging the sleeping brunette closely.

"See? Everything worked out fine." Iruka gave a soft groan, burying his face deeper into Kakashi's chest. The gray-haired man chuckled, stroking his dolphin's hair. "…Well, at least I didn't need alcohol this time…" he snickered.

* * *

Jiraiya sighed, poking one of his unconscious guards, flat on their ass at the south wall of his manor. He stood up, glanced around at the men awaiting his order before sighing again. He pointed at the, seven in all, unconscious men, still in full gear and on the ground.

"When they wake up…" he looked at his men, "Take 'em out for a drink." He glanced at his bravo leader, Yamato. "I already know who did this, and they aren't a threat unless you roughhouse with their mates…they did get here fast though…" he nudged an unconscious guy with his shoe. "…Drinks on me…" he added, causing a cheer to rise up from his men. He chuckled "Ah, to be young again…"

* * *

The darkness of the room seemed to be accented by the black painted walls, two pets and their master sat in the room, one pet currently getting all the attention.

"Now, are you sure, my little pet?" a dark-haired man with long, spiky hair asked, stroking the hair of a heavily pierced man, the man's ear's erect and twitching.

"Hai, Madara-danna. Kyuubi no Kistune still has one child still growing inside him, should I kill it too?" the animal asked, excitement brimming on his voice.

Madara chuckled, patting his pet on it's head before pulling away "Silly Pein, you and Konan shall do this instead…" he trailed off, grinning to himself before continuing.

* * *

May: O-O Madara! How dare you order a hit on Kyuubi-chan and his babies! Yaoi-fangirl army, UNITE! Okay! Hackers, go onto Google Earth and find his location! Military personnel and/or their children, we're gonna need teh big guns this time! Everyone else, take Judo(that flip-your-opponent-over-the-shoulder martial arts) classes! RAWR! Battle cry!

Y-A-O-I! FOR FANS WHO LIKE GUYXGUY! Say it with meh now!

Review!

Y-A-O-I! FOR FANS WHO LIKE GUYXGUY!

RAAWWWWWRRR! Go, fangirls, go!... But, oh snap! I don't know what I am in this Yaoi Fangirl Army!

Errr, well I'm probably not a hacker …or a military personnel…so I'm an 'everyone else'. TO JUDO CLASSES WITH YOUTHFUL GAI-SENSEI!

CK strikes the Nice-Guy pose, gives off the bright smile, then promptly runs off learn judo under Gai-sensei—


	22. Naruto

May: Updating! As I'm writing this sentence my birthday on the 10th hasn't past but with my attention span it'll most likely be posted afterwards.

Also! Kiriban winner decided! They were anonymous so I wrote a TeacherxStudent ItaKyuu fanfic (horrible lemon-like substance included) in the Kiriban Story series in my story section, check it out!

Also, Yaoi Fangirl Brigade under the supervision of General May10baby; Codename: Big Mama. Alrye, Codename: Air Bomber Bravo Leader. CK Codename: The Big Chick With Da Big Guns (Land Recon) and MomoTessen, Codename: Navy Fleet Officer, you are rewarded in your capture and containment of subject: Uchiha Madara.

Subject shall now be "questioned"…in the most painful way possible. –pulls on rubber gloves-

TO THE COLISEUM!!

CK : Oh yes, "questioning" is needed! And, as the Head of Land Recon, I must request General that this "questioning" be "thorough" and "extensive" so as to ensure that the "suspect" has been given all of the "rights" he so justly deserves and are amended to.

-- cough cough, wink wink. –

Now, if you'll follow me, General …

–leads May to the Coliseum for Madara's "questioning"--

* * *

Previously:

_Sasuke slipped effortlessly into his mate's bedroom window, glancing around for his pretty fox. He lifted a brow at the sniffling bundle under the orange blanket of a matching bedspread._

'…_Duh.' He thought, walking over and climbing gently onto the mate's bed, pulling the blankets in time to catch a glimpse at the pillow that smacked his face._

"_Go away, whoever! I'm mad at you!" Naruto growled out cutely, baring his sharp canines at the heap on his floor._

"_Ow…some love tap…" Sasuke muttered, managing to get into a sitting position on Naruto's floor. He gave his mate an injured look "How about a kiss next time..?" he asked, grunting when Naruto glomped him._

"_Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke!" Naruto wailed, wrapping his arms around his mate's neck, legs repeating the gesture with the leopard's hips. "Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke!" he chanted, tears of happiness running down his face._

_Sasuke sighed, and starting to busily kiss his crying mate all over, whispering lovely little words into his ear._

* * *

"_Uhuh, Uhuh…" Kakashi nodded "Good work, now screw Kyuubi into the bed like you always do." He snapped the phone shut before Itachi could get out a curse. He walked over to a thoroughly bedded Iruka and climbed back in, hugging the sleeping brunette closely._

"_See? Everything worked out fine." Iruka gave a soft groan, burying his face deeper into Kakashi's chest. The gray-haired man chuckled, stroking his dolphin's hair. "…Well, at least I didn't need alcohol this time…" he snickered._

* * *

_Jiraiya sighed, poking one of his unconscious guards, flat on their ass at the south wall of his manor. He stood up, glanced around at the men awaiting his order before sighing again. He pointed at the, seven in all, unconscious men, still in full gear and on the ground._

"_When they wake up…" he looked at his men,"Take 'em out for a drink." He glanced at his bravo leader, Yamato. "I already know who did this, and they aren't a threat unless you roughhouse with their mates…they did get here fast though…" he nudged an unconscious guy with his shoe."…Drinks on me…" he added, causing a cheer to rise up from his men. He chuckled "Ah, to be young again…"_

* * *

_The darkness of the room seemed to be accentedby the black painted walls, two pets and their master sat in the room, one pet currently getting all the attention._

"_Now, are you sure, my little pet?" a dark-haired man with long, spiky hair asked, stroking the hair of a heavily pierced man, the man's ear's erect and twitching._

"_Hai, Madara-danna. Kyuubi no Kistune still has one child still growing inside him, should I kill it too?" the animal asked, excitement brimming on his voice._

_Madara chuckled, patting his pet on it's head before pulling away "Silly Pein, you and Konan shall do this instead…" he trailed off, grinning to himself before continuing._

* * *

Minato and Kushina stared dumbly at Kyuubi and Naruto.

Not to mention their damn persistent mates.

"How the hell?!" Minato cursed, folding his arms over his chest, wanting an answer.

Sasuke sighed, opening his mouth to tell his tale.

"Once upon a time, two pairs of loving mates were torn apart by the bitches' hardass pare-GWAK!" he was cut off by a smack to the head by Kushina. "I think I bit my tongue!" he whined.

Kushina ignored him, turning to Itachi, who flinched.

"You" she snapped "You look less stupid, speak."

Itachi sweatdropped "Ah, sure." He cleared his throat. "Well, after Sasuke and I woke up to find our mates missing, we flew into a bloody (and violent) rage, after calming down, somewhat, an anonymous source gave us your address and using my connections we rode our way here on a sushi carrier." Itachi looked around for understanding, not to mention the scary look Kyuubi gave him at the mention of 'connections' "Then…we drove here, knocked out a few of your guards before sneaking into our respective mates' room. Then Kyuubi told me about the kit moving," Itachi added with a bit of pride.

Any anger in Kushina's eyes melted away as she cooed, petting a surprised Itachi on the head before turning to float out the door to continue calling all of Naruto and Kyuubi's friends, for she had found their well-hidden address book (under the mattress).

Minato sweatdropped as Kushina floated out of the room, making cooing sounds the whole way. Was his wife part turtledove? Nah, he'd have noticed…

He turned his attention back to his children, his eye twitching sporadically when he saw a smirking Itachi's arm around a preggers Kyuubi's shoulder and a grinning Sasuke's arm around a blushing Naruto's waist.

He growled low in his throat, the two sets jumped up in surprise before Itachi and Sasuke pulled their arms away, grumbling all the while.

"What you've done is breaking and entering. Now, wait here while I go call the police." Minato turned around to do so, before he was abruptly tackled from behind.

"Daddy!" his two sons looked at him tearfully. "Don't make them go away!" Kyuubi wailed, clinging to his dad's chest.

"Yeah! Ita-nii should be here when Kyuu-nii gives birth! And, and, Sasuke should just stay here! It wouldn't be fair!" Naruto whined.

Minato's eyes softened, before twitching again when he noticed Itachi and Sasuke eyeing Kyuubi and Naruto's asses with a well-trained eye.

"No!" he snapped, attempting to pry his arms free of Kyuubi and Naruto's death grips. He glanced up when Kushina walked in. "Call the cops!" he ordered. "Those two" he pointed at Itachi and Sasuke "broke into the house!" Kushina frowned, nodding in agreement.

"No!"

"Mommy!"

Itachi sighed, knowing for a fact that Kyuubi would kill him later, and that his next move would save Sasuke and himself a ton of grief…or maybe not.

"Well" he began "it would be a bad idea if I wasn't there during the birth." Everyone looked up at his in surprise. "But…it'd be a disgrace if the birth took place out of **wedlock**."

Time froze.

Itachi prepared himself for the rant.

Kyuubi, Sasuke, Naruto and Minato stared at Itachi in shock.

Kushina…squealed…loudly…very loudly.

"KYAHH!!" she screamed, jumping up and down. "Yes! Yes! Yes! A wedding! A wonderful wedding for my first born! Oh, he picked such a wonderful mate! Minato, lets go get things ordered! Oh, let's put him in a dress!!" Kushina snatched a shell-shocked Minato from a stunned Kyuubi and Naruto's hands and ran out the door faster then Kakashi when he went to go buy the next book in the Icha Icha series.

Itachi tensed when Kyuubi stood up slowly, walking towards him. He flinched when Kyuubi pressed his lips against his cheek.

"I'll be upstairs." Kyuubi stated emotionlessly, walking past the three remaining pets. Itachi wilted, he knew Kyuubi ment for him to follow, but he had that same feeling of dread as the one time he came home with an 89.4 B in AP Euro.

And his mom hadn't been pleased.

With a sigh, he followed Kyuubi out of the room. Naruto glanced over at Sasuke, who still stood rigid in shock.

"Sasuke?" Naruto poked his mate, jumping back when the brunette fell over…laughing.

"BWAHHAAHAAHAAAA!!" Sasuke rolling on the floor, arms around his stomach as he laughed his ass off. (Sentence inspired by: ROFLMAO) "AHAHAHAAA!! NYYAAHHHAAHHAAAAA!!"

"S-Sasuke?!" Naruto whimpered. Who was this person and where the hell was his mate?!

"SNICKER, SNICKER, MUAAHHAAHAHAAA!!" Sasuke wheezed, tears running down his face as he rolled onto his belly and pounding the floor with his fists and feet.

Naruto blinked in surprise when Itachi appeared back inside the doorway.

"…Sasuke, you're the Best Man." He stated, before disappearing again.

"AHAHAAAA--WHAT?!" Sasuke shouted, laughing abruptly stopping as he turned to stare at the doorway. "No! I refuse, make Kisame do it!"

"Kyuubi'd kill me!" Itachi's voice sounded from the hall "Besides! Naruto's the Bridesmaid."

"SO?!"

"He'll be in a **dress**!" Sasuke's eyes widened as he turned to stare at the fidgeting blonde.

"…"

"I don't have to wear **panties**, right?" Naruto asked, eeping when Sasuke's nose squirted blood. "S-Sasuke!?"

Somewhere down the hall, Itachi chuckled deeply.

"Ah, revenge."

* * *

May: End Chapter.

Okay, since they're currently in America, they'll be having an American wedding, meaning cake, rings, and most importantly, dresses! Lolz, okay! Voting starts here!

Should Kyuubi/Naruto's dress have a short skirt or a long skirt?

Short: 4 (May, Itachi, Sasuke, CK)

Long: 2 (Naruto, Minato)

Also, any pro wedding planners in the house? Like professional? If so, then PM me, and we'll talk about Kushina's role in the next few chappies. Lolz.

CK: EEEK! A wedding!? I'm so excited! This chapter was brilliant! And hilarious! And beautiful! And have I mentioned brilliant!?...—shifty eyes-- Naruto in panties. XD


	23. and, of course,

May: My beta took too long...TT.TT...Ahh…the next chapter….XD And thank you everyone who has given me fanfics I luvs all of you! But, alas, no fanart…-cries before standing up tall-

ALRIGHT! WHEN KYUUBI/NARUTO'S DRESS DESCRIPTION COMES OUT, ANYONE WHO DRAWS IT SHALL GET A ONE-SHOT!!(and post it so I can provide a link :P)

Hey! Lolz, sorry, the wedding's not in this chappie TT.TT, but! I have the results of the whole "Kyuu and Naru dress length" contest!

First, the bride!

Okay, the score was 19 to 12 with short winning, however, I heard from a little ducky that if the bride doesn't have an ankle long skirt, then the married couple has bad luck, so Kyuu gets a long dress….with a noticeable split on the side.

Naruto however, is deemed short skirt worthy in a landslide victory of 24 to 7, lolz. Whee! I'm gonna have fun with this one, lolz.

Note: Kyuubi and Naruto's dress designs are muddling inside my head.

* * *

Previously:

"_KYAHH!!" she screamed, jumping up and down. "Yes! Yes! Yes! A wedding! A wonderful wedding for my first born! Oh, he picked such a wonderful mate! Minato, lets go get things ordered! Oh, let's put him in a dress!!" Kushina snatched a shell-shocked Minato from a stunned Kyuubi and Naruto's hands and ran out the door faster then Kakashi went to go buy the next book in the Icha Icha series._

_Itachi tensed when Kyuubi stood up slowly, walking towards him. He flinched when Kyuubi pressed his lips against his cheek._

"_I'll be upstairs." Kyuubi stated emotionlessly, walking past the three remaining pets. Itachi wilted, he knew Kyuubi ment for him to follow, but he had that same feeling of dread as the one time he came home with an 89.4 B in AP Euro._

_And his mom hadn't been pleased._

_With a sigh, he followed Kyuubi out of the room. Naruto glanced over at Sasuke, who still stood rigid in shock._

"_Sasuke?" Naruto poked his mate, jumping back when the brunette fell over…laughing._

"_BWAHHAAHAAHAAAA!!" Sasuke rolling on the floor, arms around his stomach as he laughed his ass off. (Sentence inspired by: ROFLMAO) "AHAHAHAAA!! NYYAAHHHAAHHAAAAA!!"_

"_S-Sasuke?!" Naruto whimpered. Who was this person and where the hell was his mate?!_

"_SNICKER, SNICKER, MUAAHHAAHAHAAA!!" Sasuke wheezed, tears running down his face as he rolled onto his belly and pounding the floor with his fists and feet._

_Naruto blinked in surprise when Itachi appeared back inside the doorway._

"…_Sasuke, you're the Best Man." He stated, before disappearing again._

"_AHAHAAAA--WHAT?!" Sasuke shouted, laughing abruptly stopping as he turned to stare at the doorway. "No! I refuse, make Kisame do it!"_

"_Kyuubi'd kill me!" Itachi's voice sounded from the hall "Besides! Naruto's the Bride's Maid."_

"_SO?!"_

"_He'll be in a __**dress**__." Sasuke's eyes widened as he turned to stare at the fidgeting blonde._

"…"

"_I don't have to wear __**panties**__, right?" Naruto asked, eeping when Sasuke's nose squirted blood. "S-Sasuke!?"_

_Somewhere down the hall, Itachi chuckled deeply._

"_Ah, revenge."_

* * *

Kyuubi's room seemed darker than usual as Itachi walked in, Kyuubi was sitting on the bed, holding what appeared to be a giant fox plushie. Itachi sweatdropped when Kyuubi nuzzled the plush fur before red eyes opened to stare at the Uchiha.

"Itachi…do you seriously want to get married?" Kyuubi asked quietly, no emotion in his voice. Itachi gulped. He was in for it now.

"W-Well, if you don't want to we don-"

"That's not what I asked, I asked…Do you want to get married?" Kyuubi stood up slowly, walking towards the Uchiha, his face blank of any emotion. Itachi was very close to whimpering, how could one's Uke be so terrifying?!

Itachi stared long and hard at Kyuubi, his beautiful looks, his calm, yet affectionate nature…

The small bundle of life in his stomach…

He wouldn't mind being with this fox for the rest of his life, in his opinion Kyuubi was the perfect mate, he knew when not to test Itachi's patience, as well as when the Uchiha was joking around, and he seemed to have that aura around him, the sweet, luscious feeling Itachi craved so much to capture in his arms and echo throughout his body.

But did Kyuubi feel that way? Itachi had mated with him without his consent, and impregnated him on top of that, Itachi truly believed that the only reason Kyuubi stayed by his side was because the fox was afraid he'd lose his last kit. Despite all those moments where the fox seemed affectionate, Itachi was truly scared of the one thing that could break him apart…

Kyuubi's rejection.

Itachi closed his eyes and took a deep breath "…Yes, I do…" he replied softly, bracing himself for whatever Kyuubi might do him.

He blinked in surprise when he felt Kyuubi hug him tightly. His arms went around the fox's waist instinctively.

"Good…" Kyuubi mumbled into Itachi's neck, inhaling his mate's musky scent in delight. "I swear to God, if you had only married me to be free of my parents wrath I'd kill you, baby or not." Itachi chuckled in relief, kissing Kyuubi's cheek.

"Is that so?" he replied, pulling the fox towards the bed. Kyuubi sat down. "And where did that plushie come from?"

"My closet" Kyuubi replied, pulling Itachi down on top of him "I was going to throw it at you if you said you didn't want to marry me." He growled out the last part, before purring in delight as Itachi kissed him.

"Mmmhmm…" Itachi replied, stroking Kyuubi's hair, kissing him sweetly. He knew for a fact that the baby prevented any fucking...

But that wouldn't stop him from kissing Kyuubi all over the place…

Kyuubi lifted a brow at the look Itachi was giving him. "Hey…I'm pregnant you perv…." He muttered nervously. Itachi smirked possessively.

"Oh I know…that doesn't mean we can't have some fun…"

"You perv! If you do things like that, the baby will become a bigger pervert than you are!" Kyuubi wailed, grabbing Itachi's clever fingers as they began to undo his shirt.

"I'd like to see him try." Itachi replied, beginning his 'Kiss the-scratch that- _his_ Kyuubi Kitsune all over" mission.

* * *

"Nee…Sasuke? When are we gonna get married?" Said Uchiha choked on his Onigiri (rice ball) looking at Naruto in shock.

"…Hah?" Sasuke replied. The two of them were sitting at the dining room table, a big dining room table, and as Sasuke contently munched on his Onigiri, Naruto was a happily chewing on strawberries sprinkled with sugar.

"When are we getting married? It's supposed to be real fun." Naruto repeated absentmindedly, poking at a strawberry with his fork.

"Err, well, we're not old enou-"

"Sasuke doesn't love me?" Naruto whimpered, his ears drooped. Sasuke sweatdropped.

"No! What made you think that?!" he replied defensively. "Of course I love you!" he stated firmly.

"But Mommy and Daddy love each other, and they got married. And now Kyuu-nii and Ita-nii are getting married. So why can't we?!"

"We're too young!"

"Am not! We love each other just as much as Ita-nii and Kyuu-nii!"

"Why do you wanna get married anyway?!" Sasuke snapped out. Naruto looked at him tearfully.

"...Cause Mommy always told Kyuu-nii and Naru that Marriage means Love, Sasuke…Sasuke doesn't wanna marry Naru, so he doesn't love Naru!" Naruto wailed, his head bending down as he began to cry. Sasuke blinked in surprise and worry.

"Naruto! I love you!" he stated quickly, hugging the crying blonde. "I really do! But we're too young! And Aniki and Kyuubi need to get married first, it's only proper…" he explained, hugging and kissing Naruto all the while. Naruto looked up at him.

"Proper?" he sniffling, Sasuke nodded, wiping at Naruto's eyes.

"If we get married before Kyuubi and Aniki, doesn't that seem silly?" he asked. Naruto lowered his head and thought about it.

"I guess…" he replied. Sasuke nodded.

"See? After Aniki and Kyuubi get back from their honeymoon we'll go to your parents about it, okay?"

"Okay!" Naruto chirped happily, hugging the brunette in his arms. Sasuke sighed in relief.

'_Safe…for now._' He thought, stroking Naruto's back.

* * *

May: Okay this chapter is done! ONE MORE THING THAT'S SUPER IMPORTANT!

I have a poll up on where Itachi and Kyuubi should have their dream wedding at, lolz. Go to my profile and vote! If you think somewhere else is better, than PM me!

REVIEW!


	24. spit fiery

May: New Chappie! And the results are in! And you'll find the winning pick in the chapter!

Lolz, I'll get down to the designs immediately! (not) XD. Next chapter issue shall be at the bottom…

CK : Great! MUST. READ. MORE. And Must find May-chan a cake for Kyuubi's wedding...hmm...

* * *

Previously:

"_Nee…Sasuke? When are we gonna get married?" Said Uchiha choked on his Onigiri (rice ball) looking at Naruto in shock._

"…_Hah?" Sasuke replied. The two of them were sitting at the dining room table, a big dining room table, and as Sasuke contently munched on his Onigiri, Naruto was a happily chewing on strawberries sprinkled with sugar._

"_When are we getting married? It's supposed to be real fun." Naruto repeated absentmindedly, poking at a strawberry with his fork._

"_Err, well, we not old enou-"_

"_Sasuke doesn't love me?" Naruto whimpered, his ears drooped. Sasuke sweatdropped._

"_No! What made you think that?!" he replied defensively. "Of course I love you!" he stated firmly._

"_But Mommy and Daddy love each other, and they got married. And now Kyuu-nii and Ita-nii are getting married. So why can't we?!"_

"_We're too young!"_

"_Am not! We love each other just as much as Ita-nii and Kyuu-nii!"_

"_Why do you wanna get married anyway?!" Sasuke snapped out. Naruto looked at him tearfully._

"_Cause Mommy always told Kyuu-nii and Naru that Marriage means Love, Sasuke…Sasuke doesn't wanna marry Naru, so he doesn't love Naru!" Naruto wailed, his head bending down as he began to cry. Sasuke blinked in surprise and worry._

"_Naruto! I love you!" he stated quickly, hugging the crying blonde. "I really do! But we're too young! And Aniki and Kyuubi need to get married first, it's only proper…" he explained, hugging and kissing Naruto all the while. Naruto looked up at him._

"_Proper?" he sniffling, Sasuke nodded, wiping at Naruto's eyes._

"_If we get married before Kyuubi and Aniki, doesn't that seem silly?" he asked. Naruto lowered his head and thought about it._

"_I guess…" he replied. Sasuke nodded._

"_See? After Aniki and Kyuubi get back from their honeymoon we'll go to your parents about it, okay?"_

"_Okay!" Naruto chirped happily, hugging the brunette in his arms. Sasuke sighed in relief._

'_Safe…for now.' He thought, stroking Naruto's back._

* * *

Chapter 23-

"No."

"But Kyuu-"

"No."

"You'd looks so-"

"No."

"Kyuubi-chan!" Kushina wailed, holding up the full length white wedding dress in her hands. "We need to start a tradition here! I wore this at my wedding!" she shook the old, slightly yellowed, not to mention wrinkled wedding dress in Kyuubi's face.

"No. Itachi and I already know what we're doing for our wedding…" Kyuubi replied, turning away from his mother and… "it".

"Oh? What?! And if the idea stinks you're in for one!" Kyuubi sighed, turning back around to face his mother.

"Two words, mother dearest. Ocean. Side." He turned and left the room. Kushina stared after him for a moment before…

"KYAH! OMG! YES! SWIMSUIT!" she screamed to the heavens.

* * *

"Sasuke! Hurry up!" Naruto whined, dragging the dazed Uchiha along. The fox was currently dressed in orange swim shorts and a black tank top. "The beach is over here!" he whined.

Sasuke shook his head firmly. _Leopards do not swim!_ He told himself repeatedly, trying his best to ignore the pleading look Naruto gave him. Forget the fact the water was clean and warm! Sasuke was currently dressed in black jeans and a matching t-shirt. _Clearly_ not a swimming outfit.

"Naruto...? Why did you family buy a house near the ocean?" Sasuke asked, digging his shoes into the sand futilely. Naruto wanted to swim, now!

And Sasuke had the feeling he was going to join him…

"Because swimming is good for your health! Besides, Ero-Sennin has a few more manors located inland, we go there in case of hurricanes or floods, but the Ocean Side Mansion is the funnest, right?!" Naruto chirped, managing to drag Sasuke up to the shore, the blonde giggled in delight when the wave came crashing down a few feet ahead of them, dousing them up to their knees in wet, surprisingly warm, foamy water.

Sasuke jerked back with a hiss and scrambled back up the slope of sand.

"Sasuke!" Naruto turned to look at the Uchiha "What's wrong?!" he cried.

"I'm not swimm- Naruto! That wave!" Sasuke shouted, pointing behind the blonde at the large wave shadowing him.

"Hu-" Sasuke watched in horror as Naruto went under, the surf managing to reach _his_ knees, several feet away from where Naruto was standing.

"Naruto?!" he called out, watching as the water sank back.

His mate wasn't in sight.

"Naruto!" Sasuke shouted, scrambling down the sandy slope, diving into the surf, kicking and paddling with all his might. He broke the surface several feet away from shore, twisting around frantically, searching for his mate. He cried out in shock when something latched onto his foot, attempting to bring him down under. Kicking out, he broke the thing's grip and swam back to the surface. Sasuke watched in shock as Naruto popped up in front of him, the blonde's cheeks puffed out.

Before the blonde gave his mate a blast of sea water in the face.

Coughing, Sasuke wiped at his face, tempted to growl at his mate, which he did.

"The hell?! I thought you were drowning!" Sasuke snarled, latching onto the blonde fox and yanking him close, wrapping his arms around him. Slowly, the pair drifted onto their backs, floating leisurely in the water. Naruto snorted.

"Do you wanna know how many years I've been tossed randomly into the ocean by Kyuu-nii? Trust me, you can handle big waves crashing down on you after the first few times…" he replied, pulling away from Sasuke. "Besides, how else am I going to get you to swim?" he asked, laughing at the dark look Sasuke gave him. "Gomen! Gomen! Now, let's get out before the sharks get us."

Sasuke stared at Naruto in horror, before frantically looking through the crystal clear water for the dark predators. Naruto laughed even harder.

"I'm joking! The entire area is fenced off anyway…" Naruto added on, beginning to swim towards the shore, ignoring the darker look Sasuke gave him.

When the two reached the safe slope of the beach Sasuke abruptly tackled Naruto to the ground.

"Itai! Sasuke, I think you scratched my elbow!"

"Paybacks a bitch, huh?" Sasuke grumbled, pulling at Naruto's clothing.

"No! Sasuke! I'llgetinfectedbythesandandgetweirddiseasesandthenourbabieswillbemutantsandrejectedbysociety!" (1) Naruto squealed childishly. Sasuke rolled his eyes, ridding the blonde of his tank top. "Sasuke!"

"**EHEM!**" a voice snarled out behind a soon to be dead Uchiha. Sasuke turned and looked warily at Minato.

"…he did it." He snapped before sprinting off, Minato in hot pursuit.

"GET BACK HERE, YOU RAPIST!" Minato shrieked, waving his fist.

Naruto blinked owlishly. "What's a rapist?" he wondered, blinking in surprise at the hand that was offered to him.

A neko woman with blue hair in a bun with a flower tucked behind an ear smiled warmly at him, dressed in a black bikini with a red cloud on the hip.

"Need help?" she asked. Naruto smiled back, accepting the hand.

Pulling him up, the woman smiled. "Poor thing, don't you worry about rapists and such, just have fun!" she cooed, scratching Naruto behind the ears. Naruto purred in delight, closing his eyes, blinking them back open when he heard the sound of running.

"Sasuke?" he wondered, cocking his head to the side at the auburn-haired man-with way too many piercings to be healthy- in a matching swimsuit with the lady.

"Konan-chan!" the Piercing Man sang, holding up a white, fox plushie. "Looksie! It's for you!" he chirped, pressing the soft fur against Konan's cheek. Konan's eyes twitched wildly.

"Pein!" she snapped, smacking the Piercing Man upside the head –an image of his mother and father flashed through Naruto's mind- "I don't like stuffed animals! I've told you, candlelit dinners in fine restaurants with our own personal violist and chef…" she let out a dreamy sigh.

Pein hung his head. Before watching as Naruto eyed the fox plushie like a bowl of ramen. "Ano, you want it?" he asked.

"Yes- I'm mean…" Naruto blushed, scuffing the ground with his foot. Pein snorted, holding out the fox plushie.

"Here, take it, since _someone_ doesn't want it…" he looked resentfully at Konan who rolled her eyes.

Naruto snatched up the plushie, hugging it tightly to his chest. "Thank you!" he smiled brightly, bowing. Konan smiled, petting the blonde on the head.

"Run along now." She replied, shooing the blonde away. Pein and Konan watched as Naruto darted back to the Uzumaki Manor.

"…too cute." Was all Pein could say, Konan hummed in agreement.

"If we captured him, do you think Madara-sama would let us keep him?"

"Probably, nine-tailed foxes are rare, so Naru-chan'd be a hot item, the kind Madara-sama loves to collect…" Pein replied, turning to leave for their own sea-side manor located on the cape of the bay.

"Do you seriously think Madara-sama will hurt Kyuubi-kun?" Konan asked, trotting up next to him. Pein shrugged.

"Kyuubi-kun was taken away from Madara-sama, so technically he didn't run away but…"

"…'But..?" Konan persisted.

"If Kyuubi-kun refuses to come with us when the time comes, we maybe have to fight…"

"He's pregnant, and Naru-chan's clearly inexperienced with fighting, I'm more worried about their parents and mates…" Konan muttered.

Pein smirked "Who knows? Madara-sama may let us use the tranquillizers…"

"Remember not to shoot Kyuubi, he's pregnant, and tranq's could harm the baby in some way…"

"That what I don't get…" Pein muttered, stopping. Konan blinked turning to look at him.

"What?" she asked.

"First Madara-sama orders me to killed the kits, now he wants the last one...?" Pein muttered.

"It would sell well, mind you." Konan stated "The child of the rare, nine-tailed fox breed with the 'Vampire Leopard Breed'…priceless I'd bet, especially if it was a male, then semen samples would be worth thousands…ah, Madara-sama may give me that candlelit dinner…" she purred. Pein rolled his eyes.

"Come on, come on…" he muttered, grabbing a day-dreaming Konan by the arm and leading her away.

* * *

1) Can you hear me now? Good!

May: And that, ladies and gay germs, is why we only talk to the nice strangers...WITH A PARENT OR GUARDIAN AROUND! Got me?

Also, PM any good cake designs lolz, more importantly, PM or review whatever type of cake Kyuubi gets to smash into Itachi's face...as per tradition of course...XD

CK : DON'T TALK TO STRANGERS! STRANGER DANGER, KIDS! ALWAYS BE ALERT OF THE STRANGER DANGER! …. And perverted Uchihas, but that's a different kind of danger. (P) And cake!? I love cake! And we need a cake! I'll try to find one! (Warning: Results are not guaranteed to be good and or appealing.)

**Review!**


	25. COMMA!

May: My English teachers are trying to break down my room door, I swear! Grammar bitches, I know this isn't where commas go dammit!

This is a little drop of one-shot is to feed my hungry fans who demand an update, I'm still working on the wedding, you vultures! Argh, my Deviantart account won't let me post any deviantations, so I'm either going to make the dress designs a "IM Buddies" only feature (lolz) or I'm hoping someone in the IM Buddies area has a DA account that works, and no, the dress designs aren't done yet –avoids group of sharp implements thrown- but I'm TRYING to make Kyuubi's outfit "the perfect wedding dress" (which is really hard when it's a guy, lolz) as Kushina would want it. And yes, Naru's outfit would be the whorish one you'll all love.

Anyway, with the one-shotness;

According to a source, fanfics with really, really Uke-ish Itachi are super hard to find…wonder why...! Oh yeah, his Seme-ness is ABSOLUTE! XD even in KisaIta fanfics he still has that air around him in the few my friend forced me to read –shudder- Anyways! I got drunk last night and this idea came up ((LIE!)) and don't worry, there's no lemon, so force yourself to read this and review! I made it really funny anyways;;;;…tis KyuuxIta…maybe…

NOTHING TO DO WITH STORYLINE!!...in case ya didn't know. (cause Kyuu can't be ready to burst for this fic to work)

* * *

WE LUVZ TEH COMMAS!- begin.

Naruto skipped along towards his older brother's room. Kyuubi had told him not to come up for the night cause he had a 'special friend' over, but they were out of ramen! He needed his ramen! And Sasuke had refused to pay to restock the seventy or so cup bowls that qualified as his ramen cupboard.

That bastard of a boyfriend.

Naruto stopped in front of Kyuubi's room door and inhaled deeply, preparing his 'Puppy Dog' Look, that, with the right pitch of a begging voice, could've gotten Naruto the continent of Australia if he wanted it.

"No." Naruto blinked at the vaguely familiar voice in the room besides Kyuubi's.

"But 'Tachi! You'll love it! I know you will, please?!" Naruto blinked at the begging tone in Kyuubi's voice.

"No, Kyuubi."

"I'll let you do it to me too! I promise!"

"And what difference would that make?! None! If you did…that, to me, people who love to torture me (like Kisame and Deidara) would never shut up! 'Oh, you let Kyuubi do that to you? I'm shocked!' So, no. Never and forever."

"'Tachi! Why are you so mean! Only this once, I promise! I'll only do it one time too!"

"Like hell, I know you, once you start, you can't stop! You'll want to do it again and again, pretty soon I'll be just like you!"

Now, Naruto didn't want to have a dirty mind, but with a homeroom teacher like Kakashi and as many visits to Principal Jiraiya as he had, his face was currently died bright red in embarrassment.

"That's not true! It wears off in a few days anyways!"

"I'm not staying locked up in your room for 'a few days'!"

"Then go home afterwards, you idiot!"

"I'm not going to risk driving home!"

"What's the risk!?"

"My God, just give up already!" the mystery voice snapped

"No! I wanna do it!" Kyuubi whined, Naruto sweatdropped, what rating was this one-shot?

"Like hell!"

"Get on the goddamn bed and take off your shirt!" At this Naruto stared at the door in mute shock.

"Make me, bitch!"

Naruto scurried away for the door as numerous bangs and crashes were heard.

"Fuck! Enough of this! I'm leaving!"

"You jerk!" Naruto blinked, recognizing Kyuubi's famous "Sob Speak". Hell, if Naruto could bribe Sasuke with his "Puppy Dog Eyes", then Kyuubi's "Sob Speak" must work perfectly on whoever was in the room.

"Kyuubi…" Yup, worked to a perfection.

"All I wanted was to just do it one time, just once! And you have to be so mean as to yell at me..!" all this was said in a whiny, "pity me" voice that had taken Kyuubi quite a many years to master. "I let you fuck me all the time and yet you…you…" Naruto hummed as Kyuubi broke down into sobs, taking down notes on a notepad.

"Shh…alright, I'm sorry…"

"Meanie!" The Magic Word.

"Am not!...Look, I'm sorry, I'll let you…do that…but only ONCE."

"…Really?" Naruto knew from experience that in his brother's mind, Kyuubi was doing the victory dance.

"Once."

"Of course! Thank you, Itachi! I love you!" a loud smooching sound was along with a grumble. "Lemme go to the bathroom to get the stuff…" Naruto scrambled back as Kyuubi was heard to running to the door.

Kyuubi blinked when he opened the door to see Naruto standing in it's wake. He slipped out before closing the door behind him.

"Yo, little bro, what's up?" he asked, Naruto twitched.

"Kyuu-nii! Are you…?!" Kyuubi blinked.

"So you heard?" he questioned. Naruto nodded slowly. "It's wonderful!" Kyuubi cried out in joy! "Itachi's finally letting me put a red streak in his hair!"

...

………..

……………………………?!

Naruto collapsed onto the ground in a twitching faint.

"Eh, Naru?...You perv, I feel sorry for Sasuke…" Kyuubi muttered, stepping around the limp form.

* * *

May: Nuuu! Itachi-sama! Don't mess with your perfect hair!...how many of you have passed out from laughing? How many from shock after the first few sentences? Yes, I know, I know, I was giggling while writing this up, lolz. Don't kill me! –boards a plane to San Diego- btw, I'm going to San Diego during early July for a week so you won't see any updates, gomen ne…!

**REVIEW FOR MY AWESOMENESS!**


	26. preggers

May: I've been in a rut with the dress designs, so basically, I'm going to describe it and you all can guess what it looks like, however, in this chapter, we discuss a more important issue…

Gomen CK-chan, but I have to get this up before Otakon, lolz. Is anyone going?! I am! And most likely cosplaying as Itachi! Either ANBU or Akatsuki, I don't know yet, my mom didn't trust me with the sewing machine so we're just gonna buy something at the convention probably…;;;

If you think it's me, just say something along the lines of "May! (-chan, -sensei(people have called me this;;;), -sempai, -koi (?!), -san, -sama, etc. etc.) or Alicia (same rules apply) or scream "OMG! ITAKYUU/SASUNARU!" if I look your way, it's probably me…lolz. I also wear glasses (though I might not wear them at the Con…"I'M BLIND!!")

* * *

"No! It's not fair!" Kyuubi wailed, stomping around the kitchen angrily.

The red head had had an epiphany…

How the hell, was a pregnant man with a possessive mate supposed to have fun at a bachelor party?!

Sure, Kyuubi was going to throw one alright, but baby in the belly equaled no alcohol, and Itachi equaled no strippers…dammit!

"So. Not. Fair!" Kyuubi cried. "It's takes the fun out of the whole thing! I mean, who goes to a bachelor party only to talk and "have fun!?" Nobody!" he whined, looking over to the counter where his mate was sitting, devising the Guest List for their Wedding. Kyuubi wandered over. "Itachi! Can we have the Bachelor Party after the wedding?!" he asked, sitting down next to his mate, batting his eyelashes demurringly. Itachi didn't spared his about to burst mate a glance.

"No."

"But-"

"Kyuubi, the whole point of a bachelor party is to celebrate the last night of freedom you have before, as some people put it, "being chained to someone for life…or divorce." So basically having one after marriage wouldn't make it a bachelor party anyways." Itachi said this all in an al-knowing fashion.

Kyuubi huffed, setting his head down onto the table. "Why couldn't you have taken your time to court me?" he sniffed, Itachi looked over at him. "Now I won't have a bachelor party, it's supposed to be one of the highlights of the whole pre-wedding thing!" Itachi sat the pen he was writing with down before petting Kyuubi on the head.

"Because you're just that cute." He replied, pecking the red head on the cheek. Kyuubi rolled his eyes, sitting up straight.

"Bribery won't save you!" he stated, turning away, giggling when Itachi pulled him into his arms.

"How about a shower of kisses?" Itachi wondered, kissing the red head all over his neck and should area, yanking down on his shirt to do so.

"Pervert! I'm pregnant!" Kyuubi laughed, twisting in his seat.

"AHEM!" an angry voice snapped. The couple jerked apart immediately, Kyuubi looked over his shoulder.

"Hi, daddy!" he chirped innocently. Minato felt his eye twitch.

"…Please…" he managed. "At least don't let me catch you doing this until you're legally married!" he begged. Kyuubi and Itachi lifted a brow. "It's bad enough my baby Naru-chan is being raped on the beach by _his_ younger brother!" Minato pointed a finger at Itachi. "Ah, Gods. Why are children these days so horny?!"

Kyuubi and Itachi sweatdropped as Minato walked back out of the kitchen. "…" Kyuubi turned to look at Itachi "…Did Sasuke screw my baby brother on the beach?...Kinky." he noted, adding it too his list of places to get screwed by Itachi once the baby was born.

"Apparently…" Itachi agreed, adding the beach as one of the places he was going to screw Kyuubi as soon as the baby was born.

"…Huh…" the red sighed.

* * *

Naruto sat the fox plushie given to him on the bedroom nightstand. Sasuke glanced at in interest.

"Where'd you get that?" he asked. Naruto smiled at him.

"A friend" he replied cheerfully. Sasuke lifted a brow before sitting down on the bed.

Who was this friend? And why the hell did they think they could give _his_ Naruto gifts?!

"…Really…" Sasuke replied dryly, hoping to pry more information from the blonde "How old are they?" he wondered aloud.

"Both of them are older than Kyuu-nii!" Naruto supplied, Sasuke's brows shot up. Two of them?!

"Two of them?!"

"Yup, I think they were a couple, that" Naruto pointed at the plushie "was for the girl, but she wanted a…a…candlelit dinner or something, so the guy gave it to me!" Naruto cheerfully answered. Sasuke looked at the fox suspiciously.

"Naru-chan, we're taking that to aniki to have it looked at." Sasuke stated firmly, knowing something was off.

"Looked at?" Naruto asked blankly.

"Yeah, he'll rip open the seams, dig out the stuffing to look for cameras and such…" Sasuke stated flatly, missing the look of horror on Naruto's face as he stood up to reach for the plushie.

Next thing the Uchiha knew he was tackled to the ground and Naruto's shrill voice was screeching into his ear; "NO! NOT MY FOX PLUSHIE!!" The blonde jumped off the temporarily stunned Uchiha and snatched up the plushie before sprinting out of the room. Sasuke scrambling up to his feet before running after him.

* * *

"Oh! I can't believe Itachi-kun and Kyuubi are getting married, it's so romantic!" Iruka cried, sitting on a loveseat with Kakashi flopped down next to him. Kushina squealed across from him, sitting on a couch with Minato, who seemed rather gloomy.

"I can't wait to see what he's wearing! Oh, Kyuubi hasn't worn a dress in _years_, the last time was when he was still in elementary school and my precious baby," Kushina sniffed "but when Naru-chan came along, my darling little Kyuu-chan turned into "Kyuu-nii"…WAHH! I WANT MY BABY BACK!" she wailed, Minato sweatdropped, petting her on the back soothingly.

"Calm down, sweetie…um…he'll look so beautiful in his dress…I'm sure…" Kakashi sweatdropped as Minato's gloom only seemed to increase. "By why does he have to wear a dress?" Minato wondered aloud. Kushina jumped up.

"Because he's pregnant! And when my babies get pregnant, they become princesses! As such, Kyuubi'll have his dream wedding!" Kushina cheered, running out the room. "KYUU-CHAN, LEMME HELP WITH YOUR DRESS!"

Everyone else sweatdropped.

* * *

"_Ribbons!_"

"_Oh, there has to be tons of lace, Kyuubi-chan._"

"_Frills!_"

"_Don't forget the garter!_"

"_Slide splits!_"

"_Hell yeah! You're fiancé, who we're all going to **kill**, would love it!_"

"_Calm down, Goubi-kun, think of it this way, because we all missed our chance, our children can go after Kyuubi-chan's!_" Said red head twitched, slamming down his pen, as he was taking notes of his high school friends' ideas over his cell phone.

"Sanbi-chan, I know you didn't just say that." He growled in the receiver, where a four-way conversation was going on.

"_Oh, please, Kyuubi-chan, the children of you and this 'Sex God' are going to be harassed anyways, might as well not miss-_"

"_Sanbi-chan, don't be mean, Kyuubi-chan! Did you hear me and the frills?! It'll mask the lack of tits!_" Kyuubi rolled his eyes.

"I'm not wearing frills, Yonbi-chan." He replied, earning a chorus of disappointed yells from the phone.

"_Why not?!_"

"_You'd look so good!_"

"_You always look good._" Kyuubi groaned, considering hanging up on his friends and dialing a few of the others.

Ichibi, Yonbi, Goubi, Hachibi, Rokubi, Shichibi, Sanbi, Nibi, and Kyuubi had been in their own social clique in high school, they were…as the boys had put it "girly men" and the ladies; "gorgeous", so they couldn't be considered either popular or unpopular.

So far, he, Yonbi, Hachibi and Nibi had landed mates, the rest were still single (and loving it). Kyuubi snorted, hell it didn't surprise him the others were single, their sexual abilities were…lacking. If anyone knew, it was the redhead.

He'd slept with more than half of them.

Kyuubi leaned back in his chair, glancing over to Itachi, who was busy enduring the excited squeals from his mother as he had decided to tell her about the wedding. The fox grinned rubbing his stomach unconsciously when he felt the kit move. There was such a difference between getting screwed by the men and the boys.

And hell, Itachi was a man.

"_Kyuubi-chan?! Is that bastard fucking you?!_"

"_Eh?! Isn't he preggers, Sanbi-chan?!_"

"_Please, both of you,_" Yonbi giggled over the line "_We'd hear Kyuubi-chan, Sanbi-chan, you know personally that Kyuubi-chan's rather vocal about those things…_" Kyuubi winced, glancing over to where Itachi was glaring at him, or rather the phone, eyes promising punishment. The redhead coughed into the receiver.

"Um, guys? You know that my mate can hear you?" he asked, immediately the three on the line began to yell.

"_Hi, Kyuubi-chan's Fucker!_"

"_Huh?! Oh crap, Sanbi-chan, you're so dea-_"

"_I SCREWED HIM FIRST, HE'S MINE DAMMIT!_" Sanbi screamed into the his phone.

Then all was silent…

Itachi calmly stood up, walked over to a cowering Kyuubi and took the phone from his shaking hand and put it to his own ear.

"Fuck off." He replied flatly, snapping the phone shut and taking out the battery, placing the cell in his pocket. Kyuubi sweatdropped, opening his mouth to speak "No, you can't have your phone back." Itachi replied dryly, grabbing Kyuubi by the arm and carrying him bridal style (hell, might as well get some practice in) and walking back over to his own chair and sitting back down with the blushing red head in his lap. He calmly grabbed his cell phone where his mother was screeching about 'not ignoring your mothers' and said;

"Sorry, I was guarding my territory." Kyuubi purred when Itachi began to pet him on the head "Yes, I mean my bitch, mother." Kyuubi twitched.

"I'M NOT YOUR BITCH! AND NO CURSING IN FRONT OF THE BABY!"

* * *

May; lolz, really Kyuu-chan, you're such a hypocrite, as for the other important issue, up on my profile page there's a poll asking what you all think the baby's gender should be (I can't decide!!) please go there if you haven't already!

REVIEW SAYING HOW GLAD YOU ARE I'M UPDATING and that you want a quicker one next time! (cause you know you're gonna say that…lolz)


	27. Kyuubi

May: My fans are going psycho over this, but now, the dress design! I knows of it! Lolz, I'll tell if you guys promise to draw it! I'm planning on not relising the description until the actual wedding, lmao. So wait!

Speaking of crossing dressing Kyuubi, May did decent art!

My Kyuubi-chan: http/(/)may10baby(.)deviantart(.)com/art/Kyuubi-chan-crossdressing-96590087 (remove parentheses)

Comment on that!

I think there's a deviantation in there of my cosplaying horribly as Itachi –ahem- and other crappy, 6th grade fanfics proving that I suck…

CK : AWESOME! I love art, and perople cosplaying Itachi, and people who do amazing art and cosplay Itachi who post great fanfics! Must be my lucky day. _–goes to check out May's deviantart account.—_

* * *

Previously:

"_Hi, Kyuubi-chan's Fucker!"_

"_Huh?! Oh crap, Sanbi-chan, you're so dea-"_

"_I SCREWED HIM FIRST, HE'S MINE DAMMIT!" Sanbi screamed into his phone._

_Then all was silent…_

_Itachi calmly stood up, walked over to a cowering Kyuubi and took the phone from his shaking hand and put it to his own ear._

"_Fuck off." He replied flatly, snapping the phone shut and taking out the battery, placing the cell in his pocket. Kyuubi sweatdropped, opening his mouth to speak. "No, you can't have your phone back." Itachi replied dryly, grabbing Kyuubi by the arm and carrying him bridal style (hell, might as well get some practice in) and walking back over to his own chair and sitting back down with the blushing red head in his lap. He calmly grabbed his cell phone where his mother was screeching about 'not ignoring your mothers' and said;_

"_Sorry, I was guarding my territory." Kyuubi purred when Itachi began to pet him on the head "Yes, I mean my bitch, mother." Kyuubi twitched._

"_I'M NOT YOUR BITCH! AND NO CURSING IN FRONT OF THE BABY!"_

* * *

"Kyuu-nii, Kyuu-nii! This one! This one!" Naruto cheered, waving the white, silky fabric dress in front of his brother. Kyuubi glanced at the dress before shaking his head.

"I don't like it…" he frowned when Naruto got teary-eyed. "You can wear it when you get married," he supplied for the eighth time. Naruto blinked before smiling and running back through the store, Kyuubi sighed, glancing around in boredom.

"Can I help you?" a woman with long, black, curly hair asked, her red eyes examining Kyuubi carefully.

Kyuubi blinked. "Ah yes…Miss?"

"Kurenai, and it's Mrs." Kurenai replied cheerfully, dressed in a dark blue blouse and white slacks. Kyuubi studied the ring she waved at him.

Kyuubi blinked "Really? You look so young!" he commented, Kurenai smiled back at him.

"So do you." She stated bluntly. "What style are you interested in?"

Kyuubi blushed "Um…well, my fiancé and I decided on ocean side, but I don't want anything too heavy and I don't want people to see that I'm pregnant." He pointed at his stomach, flinching when it kicked. Kurenai smiled, placing her hand on Kyuubi's stomach and smiling when Kyuubi shied away.

"Oh, please, everyone wants the feel the baby, get used to it, sweetie." She commented, rubbing Kyuubi's belly.

"My mate would kill you." Kyuubi huffed, pouting slightly. Kurenai laughed.

"Please, I'm sure he wouldn't kill a pregnant woman." She replied, Kyuubi's brows shot up.

"Eh?" Kurenai pointed at her stomach.

"Baby on board." She stated. Kyuubi stared at the slight bulge he had missed earlier.

…No.

He would not pet the baby like this woman did with his kit!

…

Kurenai hummed when Kyuubi rubbed her stomach gently. "See? It's instinct. Now, let's see what you can wear…" she muttered, eyeing the redhead critically.

Kyuubi rolled his eyes "Whatever, my mom's coming in half an hour anyways."

* * *

Itachi groaned as he was more or less dragged through the tuxedo store by his mother.

He wished Kyuubi was here to hide behind, Lord knows their mothers could spend a full hour giggling over the baby in his mate's belly.

…His adorable mate's belly...dear God…was he going soft?!

He was jerked out of his inner ramblings when Mikoto smacked him on the head.

He hissed. "What?" he snapped.

"Strip." Mitoko replied, pointing to where a harassed-looking Sasuke was stumbling away from a middle-aged man with a gleam in his eye.

…No he wasn't going soft…

Cause he'd ripped this Mo'Fo to shreds if he groped him.

He swore it.

* * *

Jiraiya sighed, hanging up the phone, having just contacted a priest to do the wedding.

He had a vague suspicion that Kyuubi would kill him…oh well!

…Orochimaru wasn't too bad…right?

* * *

Madara grinned quite evilly indeed, playing out his evil plot to perfection. He was a genius after all!

Pein, or Wario, cursed, button-mashing his controller as Madara, or Yoshi, sent a red turtle shell up his ass, successfully knocking him out for the few seconds necessary to pass him and win the race.

Konan's eye twitched as she watched the two "mature" men sitting next to each other, cross-legged on the floor in front of the TV, playing Mario Cart with an unholy passion.

4 whole hours wasted on a stupid game! (May: no it's not! It's life! With stolen ninja turtle shells! Ck: I know! Damn straight!)

She coughed "Um…Madara-sama? I thought we were going to capture Kyuubi-kun and Naruto-chan?" she asked, sitting on the couch, a decent space away from Madara and Pein and their…issues.

"Hmm?" Madara grunted, choosing Rainbow Road as their next field. Pein tended to fall off the Rainbow Road when Madara had his way.

Konan rolled her eyes, tail twitching in annoyance "Kyuubi? Naruto? Foxnapping?" she reminded him. Madara huffed.

"After this round…" he replied, Konan screamed in frustration.

* * *

May: lolz, not much, but good, right? Also…I have a poll up discussing Kyuubi and Itachi's beloved child's name, lmao, and if you search my profile page enough, you might see a spoiler! I luvs you allz!


	28. for

May: If anyone is reading this, your May-chan is so sorry!!! *grovels*

Blame my dad!

My old computer crashed and then my new computer has dead horse speed internet so i'm basically typing the story up on one computer and taking it to my mom's laptop and updating the story T.T

As such! Kyuu-chan's dress designs are done and i'll put them in soon! Please have the kindness to review!

And thanks much to my beta, CK-chan, who beta'd this mistake filled chapter! XD our thoughts are included in key scenes XD

* * *

Previously: (The last chapter was so shamefully short i could fit the entire damn thing in here -__-)

* * *

Kurenai sighed, sitting down heavily. "You…" she pointed at Kyuubi with a frown "…don't have any breasts…" she finished, letting her head fall back in defeat.

Kyuubi sweatdropped, trying to rip off the lacy white material his mother had thrown on him in a last minute in an attempt to save his appearance. This epic fail dress was too tight in ALL the wrong places, and made his belly look like a white blimp. "Yes. I know I lack breasts, I'm MALE, now can we can this thing off of me?! If anyone else saw me in this - like Itachi - I'd die of embarrassment!" he whined, tugging at the bow tied loosely around his waist.

Kushina jumped up, eyes burning with determination "I refuse to let my baby go to his wedding dressed like a cream puff!" she cried, quickly helping Kyuubi with removing the hideous outfit.

Kurenai groaned "I thought I could handle this…I guess I could call the manager…" she wondered aloud before shaking her head. "No…No!"

Kyuubi blinked "What's so bad about the manager?" he asked in curiosity as Kushina ceremoniously burned the horrible excuse of a wedding dress.

Kurenai sweatdropped "Well…he has…issues." she replied in a tone of finality.

"…Issues?"

* * *

"As you can see Kyuubi, my skills are true...now, to find you the perfect pair of shoes!" a black man with a rhyming addiction, dressed in a blue dress shirt and jeans sang, folding his arms over his chest in pride.

Kushina squealed in excitement at the dress Kyuubi was wearing "I-It's beautiful!" she gushed, bouncing on the tips of her toes.

**(A/N: No, you don't get to know Kyuu-chan's dress design to the aisle scene, lolz *evil*)**

Kyuubi felt his face flared up underneath the veil.

Damn, he looked good!

"I...I look...pretty..." he murmured, fingering the veil softly, glancing over to where his mother and younger brother were jumping around together in joy.

"I wanna wear Kyuu-nii's dress to my wedding!" Naruto cried out, looking hopefully at his mother who shook her head.

"No, no, Naru, you'll need to pick your own dress when the time comes…but right now..." Kushina turned to Kyuubi "It's perfect for you!" Kushina sang, dancing around the room, Naruto cheering in delight in her arms. Kyuubi turned around and smiled at Killer Bee.

"Thanks for the dress!" he chirped, flipping back his veil.

Killer hummed, nodding to himself more than to Kyuubi. "Well, Kyuubi-san, I hold my brothers close to me, and you are a friend of my big bro Hachibi..." he rhymed. Kyuubi sweatdropped.

"Err…well, Hachi-kun is…" Kyuubi trailed off, wondering whether or not he should mention how he and Hachibi had gotten it on well throughout his third year in high school. He coughed, quickly changing the subject. "Do you always rhyme like that? Always?" he asked. Killer Bee grinned cheekily.

"Think before you speak is what is said, so fans of my amazing skills are always fed!" Kyuubi sweatdropped again.

"Err...yeah...um…yeah…"

* * *

"Itachi-chan!" Mitoko shrieked as the lecherous, old man was tossed into a rack of clothes by a very annoyed leopard. "Please!" the woman's ears sat back in irritation.

Itachi let out a low hiss of anger "He. Touched. Me." he spat out each word icily his gaze burning holes as the old man was helped out of his mess by several other employees.

"Wow, you shithead Uchiha, just when I fucking thought you fucking couldn't be in anymore deep, your milf of a mother is remarrying?" a young man with silver slicked back hair and gray cat ears walked up to them, grinning.

Itachi felt his eye twitch in anger "Hidan, I was so hoping you weren't here today…oh, and look, Kakuzu and his swear jar too!" Itachi had the satisfaction of watching Hidan spin around in alarm before the gray-eared cat let out a long stream of curses.

"Damn, asshole, I shouldn't trust you." he frowned glancing at Itachi in annoyance "Now, whadaya want so I can kick your asses back out onto the curb." Mitoko smiled dangerously.

"Oh, Hidan-kun, still have that potty mouth on you I'm afraid, do I need to get the rubbing alcohol again?" she asked, sugar coating her evil intended words. Hidan jumped up in shock, staring at Mitoko in shock.

"Mrs. Uchiha?! OH SHI-eet? Y-yeah, oh, I left the _sheets_ hanging outside this morning, hope Kakuzu brings them in before the weather gets to nasty…" Hidan laughed nervously, flinching away when Mitoko pat him on the head in delight.

"Good boy, now be a dear and help us, won't you?" she smiled, batting her eyelashes.

"H-huh?!" Hidan stared at her in sheer horror "Oh, sure, I mean, well…yeah." Hidan gulped, tossing an icy look over to where Itachi and Sasuke were snickering.

"Well, I'm certainly not remarrying, but Itachi is!...Well, getting married." she added, clapping her hands in delight. Hidan blinked in shock, before:

"BWAHHAAAAHAAAAHAAA!!!" Hidan fell onto the ground, seizuring. "YOU'RE MARRYING THAT RED-HAIRED FOX THAT SASORI SAID YOU'D KNOCKED UP A WHILE BACK?!?!!! BWAHAHHAAAHAAA!!!" Itachi growled lowly, taking a menacing step towards Hidan.

Mitoko simple smiled, shaking her head. "Yes, but we need to figure out what color would look best on Itachi-chan and Sasuke-chan too." she added.

"BWAHAHAHA- pink." Hidan sat straight up, grinning evilly at Itachi. "Pink. Definitely."

Itachi gave a low snarl, the brunette currently resembling a thundercloud, his fingers twitching in an attempt to not lunge at Hidan. Mitoko sighed, shaking her head.

"No, Kushina just texted me." she waved her phone around absentmindedly "She says the main colors in Kyuubi's dress are red and light blue, not to mention white, so pink clashes!" she stated in an all-knowing matter.

Hidan frowned, nodding "Well then," the silver-haired man's tone switched into business mode immediately "black traditionally is the main color the groom wears, and light blue and red are excellent colors for Itachi complexion wise…"

"Aren't they?" Mitoko cooed, petting an unamused Itachi on the arm.

"Don't I get a say in this?" he snapped out. Mitoko and Hidan stared at him in shock.

"Of course not." they replied in unison. Itachi gave them a look that could blacken the sun.

"Why not?! It's my wedding mother." he reminded her.

Mitoko sighed, shaking her head, chuckling gently. "No, Itachi-chan, it's _Kyuubi-chan's_ wedding. The wedding is all about the bride!" she sighed dreamily "My wedding was the most wonderful wedding ever…and my dress, oh my dress!" she giggled girlishly to herself before looking at her eldest child. "No." she repeated "You don't have a say, from the second you put on that tux, to the second Kyuubi rips it off of you on your honeymoon you're his slave." she smiled brightly at her horrified son. **(A/N: This is an extended version of what my mother told me about weddings XD CK:**… I bow before your mother. O_O In fear… I think…))

Sasuke whistled lowly, patting Itachi on the shoulder. "That's rough, aniki." he grinned.

"Your next." Itachi replied curtly to his now equally horrified younger brother. Iruka smiled brightly at the clock "Naruto'll be home in a bit!" he stated cheerfully to Kakashi, the gray-haired man busy cutting vegetables before dropping them into the stew Iruka was stirring.

"Uhuh…" Kakashi glanced at Iruka as he dropped in the sliced zucchini "And why can't they just go out and eat?"

Iruka glared at him, but laughter seeped in his eyes "Because Kyuubi-chan's pregnant!" he stated cheerfully, stirring the stew merrily "He needs healthy food!"

"So, we're making all this for him?" Kakashi lifted a brow at the large pot, the dark broth and vegetables swimming inside.

"Yes! Exactly! All this stew has in it is vegetables and tofu and a few spices! I got the recipe off the internet and it's delightful!" Iruka spooned a small amount in a small dish before handing it to Kakashi. "Try it! Try it!"

Kakashi sighed, tugging down his mask, noticing the dull blush on Iruka's face. His lips twitched up before he sipped the soup.

It was warm and slightly salty, but in a refreshing way that he had a feeling Kyuubi would like. "It's good." he agreed, watching as Iruka's face lit up. "But you taste better." he added, smirking.

Iruka blinked in shock, his mind going blank for a few moments. Where was he? Oh, yeah making lunch in the kitchen…except he wasn't in the kitchen…rather on the brand new couch, that he and Mitoko had personally gone out and bought, with Kakashi on top of him.

Iruka couldn't help but shiver as he felt Kakashi's tongue trailing up his throat to suck on his ear. "K-Kaka…" he trailed off into a moan when Kakashi's hand trailed up his shirt, stroking his stomach sensually.

"Back from La-La Land?" Kakashi pressed his lips on the corner of Iruka's soft mouth. "Good, I want you coherent for this…" he licked at Iruka's mouth, his hand stroking the brunette's chest, nail scratching gently at the stiff nipples **(A/N: LMAO, funny word. CK: ****Teehee! I know!)**he found there.

"Kakashi…you asshole." Iruka muttered, burying his hands into Kakashi's gray hair. "The stew's going to burn…" even so the brunette pressed his lips against the other's and let his mouth be plundered.

Kakashi busied himself by switching in-between the delightful tasks of undoing the oh so evil pants and listening to the delighted moans his Iruka was making in earnest.

And then everything came crashing down.

"IRUKA-SENSEI!?!?!" a high-pitched voice shrieked in horror. Iruka's eyes snapped open as he shoved Kakashi away, the older man falling off the couch as a result.

"N-Naruto!" he squeaked.

"Oh my god." Kyuubi covered his eyes, Itachi calmly placed a hand over Kyuubi's slightly bulging stomach, where he apparently thought his kit's eyes were. "I'm pregnant! I should not be seeing this! My baby should not be seeing this!" he cried even as Itachi and Kushina ushered him into the kitchen.

Iruka quickly stood up, straightening his shirt. Naruto stared at him, Sasuke trying to tug the blonde away.

"…So even Iruka-sensei does naughty things…?" Naruto questioned before looking at Sasuke. "See! Kakashi-sensei can hide it! But you can't?!" at this Iruka noticed the several hickeys on Naruto's neck and his mother hen powers began to activate.

"It's not a matter of I can't…well…" Sasuke trailed off tapping his chin in thought.

Naruto sniffed at the Uchiha in response, turning to walk into the kitchen, Mitoko following.

Sasuke turned, about to follow when Iruka grabbed him firmly by the shoulder.

Feeling a sense of dread, the young Uchiha looked at the older man nervously. "Yes?" he squeaked out.

"We're going to talk. Painfully." was the simple reply.

* * *

May: Kakashi, see what you do? Next time, get a bedroom! then Iruka won't go all pissy on Sasuke! .

…yeah, that's it, several of you wanted KakaIru yaoi lemoness but the clean up approach of Naruto and Com. walking in when they were done was a nightmare . XD

REVIEW! PLEASE!!!!

Also, for those of you who don't know, a milf is an anagram for:

Mother  
I'd  
Like to  
Fuck

.;;;; Damn Hidan...


	29. an

May: Lol I'm not dead! Again! Haha, yeah, I've got three AP Classes this year and things can be hectic, but yay for week long snow days! :D

There's a lengthier explanation at the bottom. I promise, but for now, here's the next installment of Mayday!

* * *

"UCHIHA ITACHI!" A loud voice roared through the halls.

Said Uchiha tensed, glancing up from his current task of doing fun things with his mate to cast a glance towards their locked door.

"W-What was that?" Kyuubi asked, blushing as he pulling the sheets over his body, causing Itachi's mood to sour.

"Not what...who." Itachi returned dully, jumping when the door to their room was banged upon several times.

"N-Nii-san! It's...! It's...!" The rest of Sasuke's sentence was drowned out by a scream of terror and cooing noises.

"Get dressed." Itachi muttered, climbing off the bed and pulling his shirt back on.

Kyuubi scrambled to his feet, pulling his pants back on with some difficulty. "Wh-who is it..?" He asked, squeaking when the door banged once again, with more force. He pulled his t-shirt on hurriedly as the door quaked under another bang.

"It's..." The voice suddenly let out a childish giggle. "Tobi-chan! Itachi-chan! Itachi-chan! You have a _bride_!? Lemme see! Lemme see!!"

Itachi stepped in front of Kyuubi quickly as the door was kicked in, an orange-mask wearing psychopath in its wake.

"Hello, cousin." Itachi greeted calmly, hissing when Tobi glomped him.

Tobi laughed, tail wagging excitedly. "Hi, Itachi-chan, how are you? Oh! Is this your _bride_!?" He peered at Kyuubi over Itachi's shoulder.

Kyuubi stared at Tobi for a long moment before clearing his throat. "H-Hi there...I'm Kyuubi..." He greeted, jumping when Tobi crawled off of Itachi and proceeded to invade the fox's bubble.

Tobi was wearing a mask...an orange swirly one. And rainbow pants.

Disturbing.

"You're so cut--ACK!" Tobi choked when Itachi grabbed him by the collar and threw him out the door head first.

Itachi dusted his hands off on his jeans before regarding a ruffled Tobi with a glare. "Back off my mate." He snarled.

Tobi stared at Itachi, well, at least, that's the impression you got with the whole mask issue going on. "W-Why!? We shared things all the time when we were little!!" He protested, kicking his feet childishly.

Itachi snorted. "You're getting yourself confused with Shisui agai--wait," Itachi's eyes widened a fraction. "H-He's not...here, right?"

Kyuubi was beginning to get scared. "Who's Shisui? Who's this?!" He pointed at Tobi.

Tobi gasped, jumping to his feet. "He hasn't told you about me? Itachi-chan how could you!?" He attempted to reenter the room, only to have the door throw at him.

"Get. Out." Itachi grit out, seething.

Kyuubi cleared his throat nervously. "C-calm down..? Itachi?" He blinked, letting out a squeak when he was tugged into someone else's arms and the scent of roses overpowered his sense of smell.

"My, my, what a lucky catch Ita-chan..." A smooth, low voice noted with a purr. Kyuubi looked up at winced at the...shininess of this new Uchiha. Definitely an Uchiha if the red eyes and the 'I Am the Sex' attitude was anything to go by. "Tell me, sweet fox, do the flowers always bloom so lovely in this patch of the garden?"

"...Hah?" Kyuubi replied, giving the stranger a blank look. Was this guy using extended metaphors to hit on him?!

Shisui laughed, flipping a lock of his wild hair out of his red eyes. "Oh, Sweet Lily, innocent to the ways of courtship, are we? Truly my younger cousin knows little of the true art of seduction..."

Kyuubi was spared a reply to this by Itachi's foot connecting to the side of Shisui's face solidly, sending him sprawling onto the floor in a graceful heap.

Itachi growled, hugging Kyuubi possessively. "Get out of my room!" Itachi hissed, glaring angrily at Shisui as the older man picked himself up off the floor.

Shisui sighed wearily, shrugging. "This is what I go though, day by day, the agony of it all, whenever I visit my baby cousin...Sweet Lily, don't you agree...? This attitude of his, it's most unforgivable, right?" He huffed before lunging at Itachi.

Kyuubi merely blinked before Itachi pushed him back towards the bed. He stumbled, catching himself on the comforter and looking behind him to see Shisui and Itachi brawling on the ground, fists and feet flying. "W-what! Stop that!" He stepped forward, watching as Tobi reentered the room.

Tobi bounced in delight. "Ooh! Catfight!? I wanna play!" He cried, jumping into the brawl.

Kyuubi continued to stare as three grown men wrestled around in his room like a bunch of kids. "Guys! Knock it off!" No reaction. Other then the brawling mass managed to actually knock off a flower pot from his dresser. "I...I'm, I don't know, about to throw myself out the window..?" Again, no reaction.

Kyuubi's eye twitched before he sighed, crossing his arms over his chest and abruptly hollering, "The first guy to stop acting like a complete idiot gets a strip tease!" He offered.

The fight paused mid air as Itachi, Shisui and Tobi stared at him.

Shisui kicked Tobi back out into the hall, only to follow him with a boot to the face courtesy of Itachi.

Itachi jumped up, put the door back in place and pushed the dresser in front of it before finally turning to look at Kyuubi. He ran a hand through his hair letting out a sigh of relief. "Now...about that offer..." He murmured, smirking.

Kyuubi rolled his eyes, sighing as he began pulling off his shirt.

* * *

"Um...Sasuke? Why are we hiding?" Naruto asked, siting cross-legged on their bed as Sasuke pushed several heavy pieces of furniture in front of their door.

"Because..." Sasuke muttered darkly. "My relatives are here."

Naruto perked up. "Really? Then shouldn't we go say 'hi'?" He asked curiously, jumping when Sasuke whirled around to face him.

"No!" Sasuke shouted, shaking his head wildly.

"...No?" Naruto's ears drooped slightly. "Why not?" He asked.

Sasuke looked at Naruto, before sighing and walking over to sit next to his mate on the bed. "Because they're...weird." He replied hesitantly.

Naruto tilted his head to the side. "And Iruka and Mama aren't?" He asked with a straight face.

Sasuke sweatdropped. "Well..." The rest of his response was drowned out by their door getting engulfed in a sudden, fiery explosion.

Naruto squeaked as Sasuke threw himself on top of him instinctively, protecting Naruto from any sort of debris. He blinking, looking through the smoke and dust and staring at the two men in the now ruined doorway in fear. "W-what?" He squeaked, clinging to his mate tightly.

Sasuke growled low in his throat as his two cousins entered the room, looking about curiously.

"Not bad for a button." Shisui nodded in approval.

Tobi was in tears, "B-But, Deidara-sempai gave me that button!" He wailed, dropping to his knees.

Shisui gave Tobi a dry look. "Did you fail to notice that your button was _ticking_?" He asked.

Tobi sniffled. "Deidara-sempai said it was an artistic expression of love! Curse you Sasori-sempai! You, you jerk! And meanie and Deidara-sempai stealer!" Tobi pounded the floor childishly with his fists.

Sasuke sweatdropped, hugging Naruto protectively, not moving from the bed. "Did you just set off a _pipebomb_?" He asked, looking at the damaged doorway in horror.

Shisui rolled his eyes. "No, actually I threw Tobi's button at your door really, really hard and it exploded, joy. I wanted to see what my babier cousin got in a mate, but apparently moving furniture in front of your door when family comes over to visit is hereditary." Shisui looked at Naruto. "Ahh...so the Sweet Lily shares the garden patch with a small bud. I wonder what kind of flower you'll bloom into?" Shisui smiled at Naruto, but since he was an Uchiha, said smile was actually a very evil smirk.

Naruto blinked, hiding behind Sasuke. "Hi?" He tried, looking at Sasuke, his mate still growling away. "I'm Naruto..." He stated, looking at Shisui warily.

Sasuke shook his head. "Don't talk to it, maybe they'll go away." He muttered, eyeing Shisui warily.

Shisui scoffed. "I was busy kicking your older brother's ass just a few seconds ago, did you wanna fight, punk?"

Sasuke was about to tell Shisui where he could fight and several other unprintable things when Kyuubi ran in, covering his hickey-covered stomach as he finished pulling his shirt over his chest, his hair rumpled in a clear, 'just-sexed' manner.

"W-What happened in here, did a bomb go off?!" Kyuubi demanded, looking about wildly.

Shisui immediately turned back on the charm-o-meter, stepping forward to take Kyuubi's hands in his own. "Oh, Sweet Lily..." His nose wrinkled slightly. "Even with the...pollen of a dirty weed messing with your lovely scent, you're still as wonderful as the young flower in springtime's-Gah!" He grunted as Kyuubi's foot connected with his shin.

"You set a bomb off in my baby brother's room!?" Kyuubi yelled shrilly, kicking Shisui to the ground and stepping on him angrily, the Uchiha curling into a ball protectively.

"W-Wait, it wasn't a bomb-ouch!- It was a butto--Gah!"

Itachi wandered in, looking like he'd just had a vase cracked over his head. Which, in fact, he had. "Kyuubi?" He watched as Kyuubi continued to beat Shisui up before glancing at the bomb-rocked room curiously. "What'd I miss?" He asked, looking to Sasuke and Naruto, brow raised.

* * *

May: Haha...Oh, Itachi, if only you knew.

So, this is usually the part where I promise more chapters and all that jazz, but let's mix it up instead! I'm an admin of an RPG site that's just getting off the ground, so a lot of my time'll be spent admining that site, you guys want posts? Come to the site and ask for em! And I don't mean, drop by and pop right back out after delivering a threat.

Join our site! We're new and accept OC's under certain rules, of course, and we allow yaoi! Of course, we can't have everyone on the site every be an OC and/or gay. But come on and join the fun, more importantly, if you post with my character (Itachi-sama of course) you'll be able to tell me when there's unrest in the fanclub and possibly earn my favor and therefore I might post for your favorite stories before others! Because I really do post according to the interests of my readers haha.

The site name, you ask? narutomaximum/proboards/com (please note, is evil and therefore you'll have to replace the '/' marks with '.', but please take the time to visit!)


	30. entire

Author's Note: So, a friend on Facebook (Read: Nicole Neko ) begged me to write another chapter of this story for the remains of my fanbase. I've improved my writing skills by a lot I think, and my previous chapters make me cringe. A lot. But rather than go back at edit all of them (which I'd never finish) I'll just start with his new chapter. Here's the next installment of Mayday!

By the way, I totally bombed those AP Exams;;;

* * *

"Tee hee hee! This cake is most delicious Kushina-san!" Tobi informed the red-haired woman happily. The masked man currently had a straw poking out of the small eye hole in his mask, then other end of the straw buried inside the chocolate cake the kitchens had served for dessert.

Kushina and Minato has been forced by courtesy to let Shisui and Tobi spend the night since it was already dark by the time the parents had located the reason as to why their sons and mates had decided to lock themselves away in their rooms for the majority of the day.

"How does he…do that?" Kyuubi asked warily, edging closer to Itachi as bit by bit of cake disappeared into Tobi's mask. Itachi had placed himself and Kyuubi as far away from the other two males as possible. Even so the male had been bristling for the entire evening.

Sasuke and Naruto had been able to decline dinner, mainly because Naruto had been complaining about a sore backside and Sasuke was adamant about 'guarding his mate'. Itachi didn't blame him, he was about to do the same thing, but Kyuubi had far more stamina than his younger brother, both a blessing and a curse in some situations.

"Oh, beloved Lily, don't mind him. My cousin Tobi is completely harmless unless you're a squirrel." Shisui told Kyuubi calmly, his gaze fixed on the redhead, like they had been for most of the evening. The entire table jumped when Tobi let out a shriek and jumped on the table, looking about wildly.

"SQUIRRELS! THEY'RE FUCKING EVERYWHERE! YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM MY YOU BLOODY DAMNED MINIONS OF SATAN!" Tobi yelled, jumping off the table and scrambling away on all fours, his tail disappearing around the corner in a matter of moments.

"We think his mother was part Labrador." Shisui informed the stunned table, dabbing bits of cake off his face. "But never mind that, I'm here to discuss the terms for the wedding the two of you are planning." Shisui looked back at the couple in question, a subtle glint in his eye.

"Oh." Was all Itachi could say. "You've come for that kind of visit." He managed, not sure whether to be relieved or frightened.

In a swooping, graceful moment Shisui stood, striking a subtle pose. "But of course, my beloved cousin! The idea of the my favorite baby cousin getting married sets a lovely warm flame in my heart, and I, Uchiha Shisui will plan this wedding to the best of my ability!" The man gestured dramatically to Kyuubi when the fox opened his mouth to protest. "Say not a thing, beloved Lily! I have see your plans, and they are novice at best!"

"Pardon?" Kushina finally managed, standing up to face Shisui. "I don't believe I heard you correctly." She challenged, ignoring Minato trying to tug her back to her seat. Shisui turned to face Kushina and the two stared each other down for a moment.

"You originally had planned a beach wedding with lilies as the centerpiece flowers and also in the bride's bouquet. And don't even get my started on the bride's dress! Halter top with ball gown?" Shisui scoffed. "Terrible! No, this must not be done! I refuse to allow my cousin's wedding to be so, so, ridiculous!" He strode around the table, plucking Kyuubi out of his chair, ignoring the responding warning growls. Shisui turned the redhead to face his family, currently just Itachi, Minato and Kushina, his eyes glittering with what could only be considered a fashionista's gaze.

"Though the baby bump is subtle, it's still noticeable, but not enough to cause a problem for photos or appearance, though I do agree the lack of cleavage would make a halter top dress ideal, a ball gown in the sand? It's a horrible idea! If your lovely bride here doesn't faint from heat exhaustion or ruin his dress by the time the ceremony's over I'll chew up my Gucci shoes." Shisui sniffed at the thought.

"Well," Kushina began, halted by a hand from Shisui.

"My good lady, please, listen to my idea. Chiffon is a light and flowing fabric and suits the beach theme to a tee, more importantly it would call for a more natural look, might I suggest flowers in his hair instead of jewels and a veil? And most importantly, lilies have such a strong odor, best to go with another flower. I think hyacinths would look lovely in his hair, no?"

"Who died and made you drama queen?" Kyuubi muttered under his breath. Shisui paused, turning to face the redhead.

"Listen here, Lily, you may be my cousin's sweet mate, but I am his older cousin, I outrank you and sit on a gilded throne next to Mitoko in my cousin's opinion," Shisui ignored the snort from Itachi's general direction "as such, you must keep in mind that my suggestions are for him, and through him, you. You'll thank me later on." Shisui stated with confidence before, letting Kyuubi sit back down and making his way over to Kushina.

"Come, my dear, we must plot together!" Shisui gestured dramatically with his hands once again, before striding out of the room.

"…Well, I do like to plot." Kushina muttered, cracking her knuckles and following after Shisui with purpose. Minato stood, looking after his wife.

"I believe I'll be needed to break up any fights." Minato stated, looking back to Kyuubi. "But keep in mind Kyuubi, Itachi, it's your wedding, we're all just guests." He reminded the couple before walking off after his wife.

"I admit that the gown idea might be a little extreme for the wedding Kyuubi stated after a few moments of silence from the table." He looked to Itachi. "What do hyacinths look like? I've never seen them before." Kyuubi told the other male.

"Hmm, they're smaller flowers, and I think they'd suit you well." Itachi admitted, standing up, offering Kyuubi his hand. "Let's go out on a date, I'll take you to the florist and we'll see if you want to have a specific kind of flower in your bouquet." He suggested, glancing about the ruined table. "I don't want to be here when the chefs have figured out what a mess Tobi's made."

Kyuubi laughed, taking Itachi's hand and standing back up. "Yeah, I'd like that, nothing too smelly." Kyuubi replied, wrinkling his nose at the thought."

"Of course," Itachi replied soothingly, guiding Kyuubi out of the room and out for the evening.

* * *

"Ah, look, the couple's on the move." Konan noted from her vantage point on one of the hills face the front of the Uzumaki manor. "Are we going to take them out now? Or wait until they get a little farther away from the nest?" She asked into her walkie-talkie. Pein's voice cracked from the small box.

"Wait a bit, our source says that they're heading to the florist. I'll contact Zetsu and have him distract them for a bit while we get things ready." Konan nodded her head, shifting up to a sitting position.

"Well, well, see Iruka-chan? I told you something was up." Kakashi's voice drifted out from behind the blue-haired cat's back. Konan jumped, spinning around to face the man, only to have her wrists yanked behind her back.

Iruka glared at Konan as Kakashi kept a firm grip on the hissing and thrashing woman. "Who are you and what are you planning?" He asked, managing to grab Konan's chin. Konan gave the human a dirty look.

"Nothing that really concerns you. After all, he wasn't yours to begin with." Konan spat back at the man.

"Who is this 'he'?" Kakashi questioned, tightening his grip on the cat's wrists.

"Yeouch!" Konan scoffed, shaking her head and refusing to answer. Iruka studied the girl for a moment before looking to Kakashi.

"Kakashi, we need to call Itachi and have him come back, I'll take care of that, you get her in Minato's custody." Iruka began to fish his cell out of his pocket. Kakashi hummed in agreement.

"I agree, we know for a fact that this little miss isn't working alone, more importantly, it seems that this other party has been listening in." Kakashi nodded towards the walkie-talkie, the red "talk" button pressed against the ground.

"She's a smart one," Iruka stated darkly, moving forward to pick the radio up. Konan laughed, her tail wagging in amusement.

"My Master will make you all suffer," She stated calmly, pointing her chin at the mansion. "He'll capture your darling little pets, and see to it he gains the profit necessary to rule the world!" Konan giggled, her small frame shaking. Kakashi lifted a brow.

"Rule the world? Seriously?" He replied, already walking the girl back down towards the secured house, glancing over his shoulder to make sure Iruka was following.

"Well, maybe not the world, but well enough." Konan told the gray-haired man ominously.

* * *

Maybe a bit short. But this story's old, I might end up posting another one if i get a few more reviews that prove that my fans still live.


End file.
